Golf Advice

[Guest083013]

There are times when you should bite your tongue!


A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.

The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet. She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, I guess all those f**king lessons I took over the winter didn't help.'

One of the men immediately responds, 'Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!'



He never even had a chance to duck.

[oden]

Did that happen to you at the new Marriot course; and was it worth it?

[Guest041315]

Nice Dennis. Here is one I always liked:

A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says: "Not bad."

Golfpro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's breasts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says: "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. Her ball goes 30 yards.

Golfpro: "Not bad, try holding the club like you hold your husband's penis." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, but now take the club out of your mouth and try using it with your hands..."

[handyGiraffe]

There is a group of cougars from Uvalde that play every Sunday afternoon at ConCan....mid-40's....and available...they have the whole afternoon available and are looking for fun...

[Guest041315]

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading When the wife looks over at him and asks the Question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd wan t her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "Shit."

[SimonNueve]

TFF!....no, wait....yeah, TFF!!
I don't normally remember many jokes, but I'm on my way to an annual gathering in Myrtle and I'll definitely have to bring Bmerazi's along. In preparation, it looks like I may need to hit a few rounds at ConCan. Would that be fore or four? I guess it will all depend on my game.