Best Advice from a Companion

[Guest053011]

Hopefully this thread won't run afoul, but I can think of no other good forum to post it on.


Ladies, when talking to other women in the industry, what's the best advice you ever got on Companionship?

I got two excellent pieces of advice from women who had been companions for over 20 years. One change my entire approach to the industry*. They both basically say the same thing.

1. Take good care of your men, and they'll take good care of you.*

2. Treat your man like an ATM and he'll treat you like a whore.

[atlcomedy]

LS - the start of the makings of a great thread & very sage advice...but almost platitudes & at the very high 30,000 foot level. I mean great stuff & who can argue with it, but it is like Mom, Baseball & Apple Pie

I don't want to detrail your thread but how 'bout the best advice you got that is a little more specific or actionable?

[Guest053011]

Other good advice given:

Screen well, be on time, communicate well, details count.

"Details Count" covers pretty much everything since the gents who book at those rates WILL notice the details and WILL make more difference then if she gave an incredible BJ.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

LS - the start of the makings of a great thread & very sage advice...but almost platitudes & at the very high 30,000 foot level. I mean great stuff & who can argue with it, but it is like Mom, Baseball & Apple Pie

I don't want to detrail your thread but how 'bout the best advice you got that is a little more specific or actionable?

I think when you can grasp those two general ideas, you should know the right thing to do in more specific situations. The reason parables and metaphors work, is because they're timeless and apply to so much. Generalized and detailed advice is valid.

[petiteassman]

but do not discount the effect of an incredible bj

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Other good advice given:

Screen well, be on time, communicate well, details count.

"Details Count" covers pretty much everything since the gents who book at those rates WILL notice the details and WILL make more difference then if she gave an incredible BJ.

[Nicolette Morgandy]

Originally Posted by petiteassman

but do not discount the effect of an incredible bj

I know, right!

[Nicolette Morgandy]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

1. Take good care of your men, and they'll take good care of you.*

This is gospel.

Ever since you posted this on aspd.net, I've never forgotten it, and whenever I go to meetings I recite it like a Psalms.

[guest051510-1]

Always side with the provider over a client. Take care of the men and the men will take care of you for a while, but every relationship has a shelf life. The men will come and go, but the loyalty should be with your sisterhood. Because if the other providers like you, they will recommend you highly; but if they don't like you BEWARE.


I had a conversation about this recently. It was funny because the guy said something I had never thought of. I will always give honest advice if a client asks about another provider and I won't steer him wrong. However, my client pointed out that some guys think you will steer them away from someone great toward someone mediocre so they will come back to you.

But that is the worst way to operate. It is petty, catty, and will leave you alone with no clients and no friends in the long run.

I consider other providers as coworkers not competition and if they succeed, we all succeed.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Morgandy

This is gospel.

Ever since you posted this on aspd.net, I've never forgotten it, and whenever I go to meetings I recite it like a Psalms.

It hit me hard the first time I heard it, coming from the lips of a companion now in her 60s. It was the only advice she felt was relevant enough to share.

The trick, I've learned, is knowing which men to take care of. Not every man will extend an arm of sincere friendship, or can be blindly trusted to do right by you.

Some will take advantage of your kindness, take for granted your sincerity.

And the only way you'll learn whether you're in the hands of a gentlemen with honor who has the old fashion philosophy of taking care of his mistress, or a common man just passing through, is to be patient over time.

And since it takes time to find such men, we will meet few of them in our careers. So when you find one, honour him, treasure him.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

Always side with the provider over a client. Take care of the men and the men will take care of you for a while, but every relationship has a shelf life. The men will come and go, but the loyalty should be with your sisterhood.

I have to say, I can't subscribe to that philosophy. I understand where you're coming from though, and respect that belief. However, some men in the world do last, maybe not as patrons, but certainly as friends. And not every woman in the business is trust worthy, well intentioned or kind. There are some awful women out there too. They can lie, they can be abusive to the gentlemen they see, take advantage of them, lead them on, and they can be destructive to other women as well. They've been known to trash the identities of other women, give good references to bad men, give bad references to good men they want to keep. The ladies as a whole don't have halo's over their heads.

My loyalty is not to the men or women as a group. But to good people, who are good to their friends.

I do believe in this:
Stand up for other companions you know are good people. Stand up for the profession as a whole, do what little you can to support the sex worker movement. If we don't stand up for each other, no one else will stand up for us.

I will always give honest advice if a client asks about another provider and I won't steer him wrong.

I ran into an interesting issue. I met a provider whom a lot of people ask me about. I like her on a personal level, sweet and kind person. But looking from a detached perspective, if I were to be honest I wouldn't recommend he to the people I know. I have no desire to hurt her business, she's a good person and doesn't deserve it. So what do you do? I have thus far just told them all the positive things about her and reserved any further judgment.

I consider other providers as coworkers not competition and if they succeed, we all succeed.

It's a shame they aren't all like you!

Thanks for your thoughts. I recently got a series of emails from other companions and this is helping me answer.

[Ansley]

I too don't subscribe to the idea of always siding with the provider over a client. I trust my own intuitions when it comes to making judgment on another person's character.

So my advice would be to always trust the feelings that you have within yourself.

[Nicolette Morgandy]

Originally Posted by Ansley

I too don't subscribe to the idea of always siding with the provider over a client. I trust my own intuitions when it comes to making judgment on another person's character.

So my advice would be to always trust the feelings that you have within yourself.

So true.

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

Always side with the provider over a client. Take care of the men and the men will take care of you for a while, but every relationship has a shelf life. The men will come and go, but the loyalty should be with your sisterhood. Because if the other providers like you, they will recommend you highly; but if they don't like you BEWARE.

Let me clarify and put this advice in the context I received it.

My best friend is a provider in another state. She had a local provider friend that was flying into Houston for an overnight. Her date had a business partner he wanted to set up. My best friend told this girl to pick me. The provider, at the recommondation of my best friend, insisted the gentleman fix me up with his friend. He saw my website and for some reason didn't want me. She persisted and he caved in. So, now I show up and he is blown away. Totally different than he expected from my website (still not sure what is so off putting in my website), but he goes on and on about what a "home run" this provider hit by inviting me. We all had a great time. However, as the evening wore on and the alcohol flowed, the provider's client started to come on to me. Which in this situation was cool because we were all having fun. But, it put me in a situation that made me worry that she would feel I over stepped my boundaries and was trying to steel her client.

This happened before on a double date. The main man (one footing the bill) took an interest in me and it caused a LOT of problems between me and his date.

Normally when I am invited to join a couple and their male friend, I stick with the male friend I was invited to entertain. And in the later story, I told the man footing the bill that I would not abandon the male friend I was set up with and if he (the man paying) wanted me, it would have to be booked that way.

I leave with the one I am booked with, unless it is understood that we can all openly play together - which was the case in the first story.

Long story short, I called my best friend and explained my worry about "over stepping" and worry that her provider friend would think I was trying to steel him. That is when she said: "Always side with the provider over a client."

----------

Somehow I think I didn't clear up anything, just confused a lot of people.

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

.. However, some men in the world do last, maybe not as patrons, but certainly as friends...

I agree with this. Although, my experience is after about 3-4 years they become more of a friend and less of a patron.

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by Ansley

I too don't subscribe to the idea of always siding with the provider over a client. I trust my own intuitions when it comes to making judgment on another person's character.

So my advice would be to always trust the feelings that you have within yourself.

I guess I should have said, "Don't back stab a fellow provider for a buck."