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Vixen DeVain · 10-01-2010, 02:11 PM

Hi All..
I've been pondering this very question for some time, not knowing whether or not to say anything, but I really appreciate and enjoy ya'lls feed back.. so here I am~keeping my fingers crossed...
*deep breath*

Ok.. I know this guy ((not in the hobby-at all))and he has trouble 'finishing'... He is in his early to mid 30's.. and he is in good health.. so, you see this is a problem-without asking/knowing anything more..
After pumping & sweating & lubing for what feels like forever.. he get's pissed and gives up.. He has mentioned a time or two that he thinks that he is concentrating too hard... ??
I didn't know you could concentrate "TOO" hard.. ??
Any advice? Any words of wisdom? Any.. Anything??

((Thanks in advance for your reply))

___________

Peanut · 10-01-2010, 02:46 PM

That is not in issue for me on a regular basis...but if I am stressed, mind on work, and cant seem to finish I start to concentrate too hard...I believe you can concentrate too hard (trying to force an erotic thought to get to the finish line...

or if I have Jack Daniels on board, I cant finish. no cure for the JAck other than time...

for the concentration part...if he is stressed tell him to just relax and have no thoughts in his mind and just look at ur pure beauty.

cuckold4u · 10-01-2010, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vixen DeVain

Hi All..
I've been pondering this very question for some time, not knowing whether or not to say anything, but I really appreciate and enjoy ya'lls feed back.. so here I am~keeping my fingers crossed...
*deep breath*

Ok.. I know this guy ((not in the hobby-at all))and he has trouble 'finishing'... He is in his early to mid 30's.. and he is in good health.. so, you see this is a problem-without asking/knowing anything more..
After pumping & sweating & lubing for what feels like forever.. he get's pissed and gives up.. He has mentioned a time or two that he thinks that he is concentrating too hard... ??
I didn't know you could concentrate "TOO" hard.. ??
Any advice? Any words of wisdom? Any.. Anything??

((Thanks in advance for your reply))

___________

Hmm..don't know his issues. most men have a huge and intense orgasm from prostate massage...so my recommendation is that you subtly inquire if he might be open to that...then insert a finger while you are licking his balls and he is stroking his cock (i suggest he strokes his cock cause he know just the right pressure). That should work. Please PM me if it works

P.S. there is a tread on here about value...honey you are priceless...someone who cares enough to work thru problems.

P.S.S I will schedule a session soon...dang you are pretty and smart!!

surfindick · 10-01-2010, 03:08 PM

Mmmmm cant help...I just looked at your pics and....

daty/o · 10-01-2010, 03:36 PM

Don't know what the circumstances are, but the only time I run into this problem is during intercourse using a condom, due to lack of sensitivity. For that reason, I generally opt for oral when I hobby. However, when I do opt for cfs, I found that putting some lube on before the condom can make a world of difference. Worth trying if that is the problem.

BigEddie · 10-01-2010, 03:42 PM

Does he have this problem with all ladies? Maybe he is intimidated by you. The mind can indeed play tricks on the body. He is probably trying so hard to come that he's making it impossible. Have him go a couple weeks with any type of orgasm or stimulation and try again. If he still can not cum, he might want to see a doctor.

TinMan · 10-01-2010, 03:44 PM

I've heard women complain that guys who masturbate frequently sometimes have this problem.

Eklutna · 10-01-2010, 03:53 PM

Too much lube (either your own natural or from a bottle) will make it much more difficult. Too much lube = no friction. Also in my case a hot room will make me last a lot longer, and a well-chilled room makes for a faster finish. The position can make a difference as well.

Charlie Brown · 10-01-2010, 04:02 PM

If you don't know already, ask him if he has the same problem "rubbing one out". If he does, then it's certainly not in anything you two do together - likely physical or psychological.

If he has no problem orgasming during masterbation......there you go - kink it up.

bigmarv · 10-01-2010, 04:42 PM

Not for sure, I didn't have that problem until I reached my early 50's. But if I were guessing I would say it's mental.

Sensia · 10-01-2010, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinMan

I've heard women complain that guys who masturbate frequently sometimes have this problem.

Omg yes. Tis true! They basically desensitize the penis.

billw1032 · 10-01-2010, 05:25 PM

First, make sure he's not being "active" too frequently.
Next, try a nice long, relaxed session. Maybe 2 or 3 hours, casual conversation, no pressure, maybe some drinks (but not too many), relax, let things take their own course when it feels right. He's right, concentrating too hard can be a problem.
If that doesn't work, visit a good Urologist for a checkup including a testosterone level check.

harry · 10-01-2010, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinMan

I've heard women complain that guys who masturbate frequently sometimes have this problem.

Have him refrain from any type of self-stimulation for several days before having sex and see if his problem persists. I suspect he'll do much better.
Frequent masturbation and condoms can make it tough to orgasm if you don't give yourself a break before having sex.

Guest061111 · 10-01-2010, 05:55 PM

It is true - guys who masterbate often tend to take longer. And, the one who do it often and don't have a partner on a regular basis have the most difficult time.

There was one partner I had and he wasn't able to "finish" until about our 3rd time together. I have another friend who has never had an orgasm during intercourse with me - it is usually only when servicing himself after intercourse.

It isn't you - it's just one of those things.

TheBizzer · 10-01-2010, 06:55 PM

I can completely relate to your friend. I've never had that issue in the hobby, but have experienced it in relationships. With me, it had nothing to do with anything physical, it was purely mental. When he says he's trying too hard, what he means is that he feels pressure to come, most likely due to not wanting to disappoint you or make you feel like you can't satisfy him. The harder you try to get him there, the more it seems like it's important to you and therefore the more pressure on him to come. It's kind of a catch 22.

When I was having my issue, the solution was getting out of my own head. The key to doing that was my partner relaxing and not being upset or concerned if I did or not. One girl actually got me over it in a great way that I'd highly recommend. We were laying in bed watching tv, and she lubed me up and gave me a slow, steady hand job, but never focused too much on the actual hand job; we both just kept watching tv. It took my mind off trying to come, and took away the guilt I normally felt watchig her work so hard to get me off. After awhile, it snuck up on me, and she was so excited to have accomplished it it turned me on, we went again, and it never was an issue with her again. It was just a hump we had to get over.

Hope that helps.