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pxmcc · 07-22-2022, 11:34 PM

so when grocery prices went, well, pretty much apocalyptic, i figured it was time to go urban survivalist. the plant part of that equation, i got that shit covered. houston has so many edible herbs growing wild, anyone who thinks they're gonna starve is gonna get a stern talking to from me.

"bitch, if you can't find edible herbs here, then darwin has a solution for your sorry ass.."

but getting enough protein, well that's another matter. i decided to start with fish before i resorted to shooting up rabbits. (and, god forbid, squirrels. possum? like what self-respecting urban survivalist eats possum? and plus, possum crack me the fuck up.)

so what 12 year old dude-and for sure his brother(s) too, if he has 'em-hasn't tried fishing. if you're straight, practically no one.

so i'm like, fuck it. across the street is brays bayou, or braes bayou, or whatever the hell that thing with flowing water and lots of fish is called.

i spent several summers growing up on lake tahoe-and boston's north shore before all the delicious flounder got replaced by skates-at my old man's law partner's summer lake house, and when me and my 2nd oldest brother-who periodically beat the fuck outta me, you know, business as usual-tried regular fishing, we didn't catch shit. but then we tried leaving lines out overnight off of what we'll call him Mr. Jorner's boat, we finally hit pay dirt.

so i'm thinking, lemme set these lines out on Brays Bayou, leave 'em out overnight, come back in the morning, and we should be good to go.

well, first 3 days, i didn't even have to wait. using some chicken mcnuggets-ish baits, caught monster channel cats no problem. thought, wow, this shit is easy!

now, 4 days later, haven't caught shit. i'm wondering if maybe i shouldn't have cut off their heads and fully gutted them with a battle axe right there on the bayou banks. i feel like their peeps got the memo. nothing but blanks since then.

i think maybe these channel cats are smart as fuck, and smelled a rat. maybe it's time to revert to chaos theory, and give these channel cats a different look every day.

any suggestions from knowledgeable peeps? i'm book smart, not backwoods bayou smart. in other words, i'm dumb as fuck.

winn dixie · 07-22-2022, 11:40 PM

I recommend using bear spray on your mcnuggets.

And possum needs garlic

pxmcc · 07-23-2022, 12:30 AM

^^lol sir..

when i see channel cats swimming with full gas masks on, i'll know they're fucking geniuses..

cats that grew up on the louisiana bayous b like, "aw this shit aint even spicy. my grandad's crawfish be way hotter.."

i think bear spray may have all formerly living fish quickly floating to the surface. to eat or not to eat, that is the question..

winn dixie · 07-23-2022, 12:35 PM

Set out a trot line baited with the most stinking dough bait you can tolerate. Channel cats cant resist.

Bowser98 · 07-23-2022, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pxmcc

^^lol sir..

when i see channel cats swimming with full gas masks on, i'll know they're fucking geniuses..

cats that grew up on the louisiana bayous b like, "aw this shit aint even spicy. my grandad's crawfish be way hotter.."

i think bear spray may have all formerly living fish quickly floating to the surface. to eat or not to eat, that is the question..

Serious question: are you not concerned with eating fish from those polluted waters?

majorjones · 07-23-2022, 04:30 PM

We breathe polluted air constantly. Such is life...........and death.

Swing Hustler · 07-23-2022, 05:54 PM

#6 treble, slip sinker weight setup, and some aging beef scraps. Drop cast near overhangs/shade on same bankside of sundown if leaving overnight.

Soak catfish strips in seasoned buttermilk for 12 hours before breading, and enjoy.

Bowser98 · 07-23-2022, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by majorjones

We breathe polluted air constantly. Such is life...........and death.

So accelerate to time of death by consuming avoidable pollutants. Got it.

pxmcc · 07-24-2022, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winn dixie

Set out a trot line baited with the most stinking dough bait you can tolerate. Channel cats cant resist.

winn, i think your advice is quite sound. short of jumping in to play mr. Capt-Save-a-Hoe on what is the stinkiest, smelliest bait on the market-whose "farts" are both lethal and irrestible but don't cause immediate permanent damage-i salute you. Inquiring minds and sorry long-liners, such as myself, would jump at the chance of 100/hr with the right providers.

Love to all, Peter.

pxmcc · 07-24-2022, 01:32 PM

^^ see this is why you should never commit a PWI-Posting While Intoxicated. there is a chance you may mix up a family thread-i always sign off with a peace offering after disemboweling some far right politician loved by my sharia law-embracing clan members-with a hobby thread..

just, don't..

i do have a legit question tho. i admit that Brays Bayou may be highly and toxicly polluted. but what evidence do we have-other than channel cats swimming around in hazmat suits-that it is dangerously polluted?

winn dixie · 07-24-2022, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pxmcc

^^ see this is why you should never commit a PWI-Posting While Intoxicated. there is a chance you may mix up a family thread-i always sign off with a peace offering after disemboweling some far right politician loved by my sharia law-embracing clan members-with a hobby thread..

just, don't..

i do have a legit question tho. i admit that Brays Bayou may be highly and toxicly polluted. but what evidence do we have-other than channel cats swimming around in hazmat suits-that it is dangerously polluted?

Well I saw a gator giving a possum a ride to 7/11 to get a big gulp cause he was thirsty.

pxmcc · 07-24-2022, 02:05 PM

^^lol sir..

i am folmfao and my stomach muscles actually hurt. i need nicollette to give me a fbsm massage. oh wait..

Bowser98 · 07-24-2022, 04:28 PM

One report, take it for whatever it may be worth to you: https://www.khou.com/article/news/lo.../285-572157770

winn dixie · 07-24-2022, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser98

One report, take it for whatever it may be worth to you: https://www.khou.com/article/news/lo.../285-572157770

Damn shame when the water is so bad, coyotes carry their own canteens.

pxmcc · 07-28-2022, 11:46 PM

uhhygiene b

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser98

One report, take it for whatever it may be worth to you: https://www.khou.com/article/news/lo.../285-572157770

good info sir. ya ship channel is a no go. only the healthiest cats can swim upstream 10 or so miles tho, so mostly survival of the non-radioactives. i would venture safe so long as you keep it in moderation. since i can't catch shit, i am forced to keep it in moderation. one of the benefits of being a sorry ass fisherman. course i just wanted to avoid all those excess dioxins and polychlorinated biphenyls, u know..

it's like when you wanna sin but have no takers. see lord, look how chaste i've been. haven't had premarital sex in months. go me, straight to the pearly gates. say dawg, i mean lord, is that cool, or no..