Love the Southereners

[oral_dlites]

Florida

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new
Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he
pushed it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair
he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the
pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida
State Trooper, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to
100 mph, then 110,
then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm
too old for this!"
and pulled over to await the trooper's
arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle
and walked
up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir,
my shift
ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new
reason
for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you
go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife
ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her
back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the
trooper.
Georgia
The
owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused
about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical
help.
He
called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the
University of Georgia and I need
some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take
off?"
The
secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my
earrings."


Louisiana
A
senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the
end of the world comes, I hope to be in
Louisiana
."
When
asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause
everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later
than in the rest of the
world."
Mississippi
The
young man from Mississippi came running into the
store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck
from the parking
lot!"
Bubba
replied, "Did y'all see who it
was?"
The
young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number."
North
Carolina
A
man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
it. Then he got back in the car to
wait.
A
passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem
was.
The
man replied, "I got a flat
tahr."
The
passerby asked, "But what's with the
flowers?"
The
man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front
and flares in the back. I never did understand it
neither."

Tennessee
A
Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked,
"Got any
ID?"
The
driver replied, "Bout
whut?"
Texas
The
Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into
the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don't you see that sign right over your
head."
"Yep,"
he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For
Dumping Garbage."

***

Y'all kin say
whut y'all want 'about the South,
but y'all never
heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin'
North.

[Miss Barsett]

I had a good chuckle for the Florida and Georgia one!

[tia travels]

[Sweet N Little]

The first one...priceless lol good ones OD

[justin_pitt]

directions at the Mason-Dixon line



keeping out of trouble in the south

[cptjohnstone]

speaking of rednecks

[cptjohnstone]

more rednecks, redneck wedding, redneck fire alarm, redneck grill and just rednecks

[tia travels]

It took me a few seconds but I just figured out the purpose of the Jiffy Popcorn on the wall. LOL

[Guest021817-2]

Originally Posted by tia travels

It took me a few seconds but I just figured out the purpose of the Jiffy Popcorn on the wall. LOL

Smoke or Fire?


I have 4 hanging.......

[bojulay]

Origin of the term RED NECK.

Yes it came from poor rural farmers having sunburned necks
but few know why they had the sunburned necks in the first
place. My grandfather told me that there wives would make
work shirts for them and the hardest part of a shirt to make
is the collar, so they would leave the collars off of the shirts
and there would be no protection from the sun for their necks.

Also he said sense the shirts had no collars many of the farmers
would tie a bandanna around their necks for protection and red was
a popular color for them, so that further added to the term.

[Shellcracker]

Originally Posted by tia travels

Is this sign in north or south Alabama?

[Sweet N Little]

[Paven]

Originally Posted by bojulay

Origin of the term RED NECK.

Yes it came from poor rural farmers having sunburned necks
but few know why they had the sunburned necks in the first
place. My grandfather told me that there wives would make
work shirts for them and the hardest part of a shirt to make
is the collar, so they would leave the collars off of the shirts
and there would be no protection from the sun for their necks.

Also he said sense the shirts had no collars many of the farmers
would tie a bandanna around their necks for protection and red was
a popular color for them, so that further added to the term.

Cool, someone knows the real history of where that term came from!

[Paven]

It's funny how many folks don't realize where the Mason Dixon Line is. It's right under Pennsylvania on top of Maryland and reaches over to West Virginia on the leftside just a tad and Delaware on the right hand side just a tad. It's not way down South like most folks believe it to be.

Fun thread though, that toilet grill is a hoot!

I personally love the South, can't get enough of it, great people, great food and places to visit. Plus all of the different dialects it's very interesting to hear.

[Relaxer]

All you folks are so good with providing jokes and humorous captioned pictures! I have had tons of fun looking at them! Thanks to everyone for taking time to add them to the site. You really do not know how much I enjoy them!!!