BDSM in personal life only?

[ArisRose]

Are there any Dommes, subs, fetishists here who feel comfortable with BDSM play in their personal lives only?

[stanky]

Actually, the only BDSM activities I've ever done have been in my personal life.

[austin_191967]

It's funny you ask this. I've never actually done any activities in private or with a provider but I am extremely curious and interested in dabbling so to speak. My biggest concern after reading up on some things is that there seems to be a great deal of trust needed to engage in some of these activities. How do you develop that trust with a provider? No offense intended to any providers. Just doesn't seem like you could build that level of trust with someone you don't see that often.

[technoid_x]

austin it may take more time than a vanilla provider. you may have to communicate a bit more with a BDSM provider and it may take more than one session.

[txcwby6]

I've never been in the BDSM lifestyle but used to know several couples that were. They incorporated it into their daily lives, all with the man in the subservient role. I attended several parties where the man's subservience was played out in various scenarios. Both couples had differing routines but the woman was always in charge.

[mysteryman]

To answer the OP, I would say yes. We are shaped by our experiences and providers have run into enough whack jobs along the way that they are going to be reluctant truly submitting, hence why so many are Dommes professionally even though they are truly more of a submissive. It took me awhile to figure that out as I have found it to be just the opposite with non-provider submissives that I have met via BDSM sites, they are much more willing to submit very quickly, if not on the firstmeeting, certainly the second. Oddly enough I run by an abbreviation of your subtitle on one of the BDSM sites. Good luck.

[Ms. Athena]

My BDSM experience started in my Real Life and developed into me becoming a Mistress and then a ProMistress then developed even more as I crossed into the hobby..........So now I rarely have it in my Real Life as now it is part of my daily work life......Love the Kink and bringing it into the mainstream..........

[BoomShakaLaka]

I will not hobby in this way,

If I am paying someone to submit to me its not true submission -- its them doing a job -- not the same

[missi hart]

i'm ok with it in both realms. most of my recent experience has been in a professional setting. two of my doubles partners are dominant and we have had fun times with submissive males interested in m-f-t sessions. i get a few requests from submissive gentlemen who just want to see me, but alas i'm just not very dominant. i could enjoy some foot and body worship, but i generally just can't be as dominant as they would prefer. being submissive, i really enjoy sessions with men who are confident and like to take control and i would definitely do a session with a dominant male.

though i'm not currently active in bdsm play in my personal life, i would be up for it if the situation ever presents itself.

[icansmile]

I have been active in BDSM for ... well, awhile, as well as the hobby world, and have found that unless you are a submissive male there is little available in the professional arena. I have accepted this and simply find my playmates elsewhere. At first I was a little dismayed, but I completely understand the levels of trust, as well as the mindset required to effectively pull this off. I still find many wonderful playmates here, just not for those endeavors.

[houston_switch]

I think over time, if you session enough times with the same provider, a huge amount of trust builds and each party becomes more comfortable with the other, chemistry kicks in and the sessions become better and better. The provider will become more of a friend and trusted mate, rather than just a professional companion.

For me, I try to meet up with a new provider over dinner first before we play. This way we meet in a public place, have a nice dinner date before making the decision to play or not depending on comfort level. It works both ways, and the session becomes more comfortable as part of a "date" rather than just another session.

I prefer to have both parties truly enjoy themselves... the outcome is soooo much more satisfying.

[LeilaBanks]

Like Ms Athena I also started in my personal life. I'm a switch but prefer the Dominant role, which

[LeilaBanks]

Like Ms Athena I also started in my personal life. I'm a switch but prefer the Dominant role in my pro life, which is funny because I prefer to submit in my personal life

[MsKriss4Play]

Originally Posted by Ms. Athena

My BDSM experience started in my Real Life and developed into me becoming a Mistress and then a ProMistress then developed even more as I crossed into the hobby..........So now I rarely have it in my Real Life as now it is part of my daily work life......Love the Kink and bringing it into the mainstream..........

I'm the same way except that I've been holding private parties, or I got a 'friend' on call when I'm in the need to torture a submissive. I have been entertaining the thought of having a Dominant play partner to whip me back into shape every once in awhile as I enjoy the whole lifestyle daily.

[Krunkman]

It's always been in my personal life, and I've at times brought it to the hobby life. But the two worlds are very different.

As we all know, pay-for-play is just that. It is rare that your play gets to extend into real life because you enjoy the companionship of your partner and they of you. While there ARE real friendships that can come out of things, the reality is most of them never go that route. I know of very few providers who will provide sessions for free (just like most doctors don't give free services, most lawyers, most mechanics, etc). If you are a lifestyler, you do it for different reasons, and generally your pay is getting to play or be with someone.

So when you go to a pro, generally you are doing so for reasons other than you are uncomfortable doing it outside of your private life.