For when the hobby just drives you nuts

[hotrix1]

Welcome to the ECCIE Psychiatric Hotline for hobbyists.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly as you keep trying to desperately rub one out.

If you are co-dependent, please ask her to press 2 after she sucks you off.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6 to get multiple providers, one to suit each one of yours.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. We'll be calling you back on the throwaway hobby phone.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. Then you argue with the crazy idiot which number you'd rather press instead.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer anyway. Try to PM her instead, give her something tragic and pathetic to laugh at you about.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is staring at your crotch and is about to bite your dick off.


And an extra bit of advice here, “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

[Gottahavemore]

Hahah nice one !

[Phil McCrotch]

Uhh,,,is there a phone number?

[BMWR1200RT]

1-800-GET-LAID

[hotrix1]

Just felt compelled to do something different. Might wind up obsessive-compulsive if I don't watch it.

All these "Have you seen????", "Any info on this girl???" posts was driving me nuts. Had no idea that icky turned into a fucking missing persons search forum(with particular emphasis on fucking) since coming back from the blackout. I thought I was in a different forum altogether. Had to make certain I wasn't in the wrong place.

Has anyone put a picture of a hooktard's face on a milk carton in their search in the meantime?
I'd have to nominate Laney. The girl's been MIA way too long. Hope she's ok.

[Phil McCrotch]

Originally Posted by BMWR1200RT

1-800-GET-LAID

I called the number, a sexy recorded voice answered saying a naughty girl named Jessie (18 years old, mmm) for only 99 cents a minute she will get me rock hard and promises a creamy finish,,,that’s a good deal I think.

[Operator1100]

Right on, Dr. Phil, I know exactly what you you mean...
they're out there, dude, trust me... you just have to go Indiana Jones on 'em, that's what makes it fun ... and expensive as hell... kinda scary sometimes, too.
That's where the fun is! You have no idea what I have seen...
Trust me, it's a long story ...

[Oneputbirdie]

Originally Posted by Phil McCrotch

I called the number, a sexy recorded voice answered saying a naughty girl named Jessie (18 years old, mmm) for only 99 cents a minute she will get me rock hard and promises a creamy finish,,,that’s a good deal I think.

At one time long ago Americans spent over 1 billion a year in search of a creamy finish!

[hotrix1]

Originally Posted by Oneputbirdie

At one time long ago Americans spent over 1 billion a year in search of a creamy finish!

Unfortunately the economics of supply and demand plays a role. It stinks that the supply of those wanting to give a creamsicle exceeds the demand for those wanting one.

[Jardinier]

Don't you mean, "it sucks?"

[Phil McCrotch]

[QUOTE=hotrix1;1061135441]Unfortunately the economics of supply and demand plays a role. It stinks that the supply of those wanting to give a creamsicle exceeds the demand for those wanting one.[/QUO


I’m a plus one on the demand side, don’t want the ladies to be without something to do - lol

[hotrix1]

Originally Posted by Jardinier

Don't you mean, "it sucks?"

I do. It fucking does.