The Art of Slow Sensual Lovemaking

[Zabrina Sarafina]

Fast: busy, controlling, aggressive, hurried, analytical, stressed, superficial, impatient, quantity over quality

Slow: calm, careful, receptive, still, intuitive, unhurried, patient, reflective, quality over quantity. It is all about making real and meaningful connections


Which style is yours or where would you like to be or are you already there?

I'm an advocate of slowness.
There is something so beautiful about slowing down...


Preparation

There is nothing else on your mind
I recommend deep breathing beforehand if feeling a little tense
Sometimes it takes a little practice
Wherever you are coming from - a crazy busy hectic week at work
to stop, switch over into a state of clarity and mindfulness
But it's worth it
and I promise you don't have to be a disciplined student of tantra, yoga,
or wherever else they teach these philosophies
The Art of Slow is not some type of otherworldly cult
It's a natural state of being


Stimulation of the Senses


Pre-Date


Initial contact - Mental, Written, or Verbal

after sharing the basic necessary details over email/phone
take the time to really introduce yourself, could be in one or two lines,
describing what kind of person you are
and what kind of experience you think you would enjoy,
offering the provider more insight
and showing her you took the extra time, effort to "connect"
if she feels drawn to your offer
she will likely put in her best effort ensuring a mutually enjoyable experience


The Voice

How powerful is the human voice
When someone sounds like a jerk, impersonal, insensitive
or soothing, attentive, inviting
not from their words but from the sound of their voice
how can you just sense that
how powerful is that
a voice that repels you, blocks your heart
or makes you feel relaxed and 'safe' going into a date


The Date

So there you are....you've slowed down
and maybe feeling excited, a bit nervous


Visual

What details do you first notice

Do you linger longer on the face
are they genuinely smiling and seem welcoming
or do they barely make eye contact
does it feel fake, insincere, rushed right from the beginning

body language

Be sure you notice everything - in a gentle manner
Every perfection (or imperfection) the Whole of what your partner is
The other person will feel awareness of this and feel more accepted

Now some of you may feel insecure of the thought of someone noticing your "imperfections"
but the very root of sensuality depends on accepting all your parts and being at peace with it


Do you greet each other with a slow caressing hug
or it doesn't seem natural?

Do you take their hand and kiss it - women can do this too, let's not be sexist
Lean in closer, breathe in their essence, place your hand around the gentle curve of the neck, placing a light feathery kiss


Conversation

I think here people really get a bit confused
What is conversation? Is it just moving your mouth randomly "small talk"

There is also a fine line between what's too personal and impersonal
Example of Too personal - Soooo ...how'd ya get into This? wink wink
Impersonal - You've got Nothing to say. Blank stare, no visible emotions

I also think in face to face interpersonal communication
is where it really all comes out

It's an opportunity to discover each others personalities
- and if you're good at sort of understanding a person
through what they like to talk about,
are they very mental/analytical, lengthy, detail oriented
vague, dreamy
lighthearted, full of laughter
you can often get a sense of
how they would like to be treated in bed

Speaking of which some of you Fast laner's might be wondering at this point
OK NOW CAN WE FINALLY GET TO THE PART WHERE THE SEX STARTS???

To which I'd have to say
the actual act of lovemaking is something you have to build yourself up to
and is the last part of the journey
a lengthy pleasurable journey...of the unknown
each experience is different and unique
and I will get into that on my next post
The Art of Slow Sensual Lovemaking Part 11

Meanwhile you'll just have to be patient
and contribute your thoughts

I would love to hear about
how you like to be treated, prepare
and your past positive/disappointing experiences
leading up to the Big Moment

[Satyrrical]

The best experience I’ve had was with a woman who advertised herself to be tantric. To this day I have little idea what tantric is, but I would describe what she did with me as cock/body/booty worship. It was slow, sensual, and decadently luxurious. Movements were glacial. Sounds were soft but seemed sincere. Beginning with a massage which included dalliances with FUMA and TUMA, the action seamlessly flowed into an extended oral session which can only be described as worship. When the first orgasm finally hit with force, she did not change tempo or technique in the slightest, continuing in a deliberate manner as if nothing had happened. So rather than my orgasm peaking and coming back down, she was able to send me into an extended orgasm that lasted several minutes. Her manner was such that she believed she could keep me in that astonishing place for as long as she liked, and I believed her manner. Eventually, she let me come down and moved right into another professional quality massage which led into another oral session ending in another body quivering orgasm, etc, etc. She never seemed to tire.

Taking it slow and making it pleasurable for the entirety takes skill and practice though. It can get boring for either person. It can be even more fatiguing than going fast (those who practice Tai Chi and/or yoga can attest). If it was tantric techniques that made her special, then I hope to find another practitioner someday. Unfortunately, those advertising as such that come through my area are L1 only. Guess I'll just try to enjoy the search as best I can.

[Pink Floyd]

Slow so I can savor the time. That is why I like 2 hours dates.

[evietaylor]

Zabrina, this is a great post.

I love slow love making...with the right gent. If there is a genuine connection between two people, then it is the most sensual wonderful thing. I have a regular who I feel very comfortable with in this way although, how ever our rendezvous go, it's always wonderful.

Usually, with clients, it's a faster caveman kind -of sex, if you will, but when you meet someone who really pushes your buttons, slow love making can totally send me over the edge. Honestly, this has only happened a few times for me in my 3.5 years of providing & I often wish it happened more considering this is the only sex I have. I had an encounter like this just last week & I have definitely spent time reminiscing about it since then. There wasn't much of the slowness you speak of, but I definitely felt the way I would feel during this type of lovemaking session. His weight on me, his breath on me, the way he spoke to me. Not aggressive or loud, but still very coercive. It was extremely sexy & if I ever get another chance to experience a rendezvous with him, I'll be a very lucky lady. (Too bad he lives out of town. Damn. )

I think some men/hobbyists don't feel comfortable with a sensual slow session with a provider due to the nature of the relationship/encounter. I think a lot of hobbyists feel they need to be an athletic stud in the sack who can pound us 2 ways to Sunday. I want a champ in the sack as much as the next lady, but don't be afraid to be slow & sensual. Talk to me. Kiss me. Take your time. Make me NEED you. Your patience will be worth the effort.

[Always Horny]

It depends what mood I'm in and the type of girl, which includes her personality, I'm with.

Funny thing is, when I looked at your pictures the other day, I immediately thought, she's a slow girl.

[plainjoe]

Evie, great post...another reason to visit STL, to meet you for the slow, sensuous lovemaking that you describe!

[evietaylor]

Originally Posted by plainjoe

Evie, great post...another reason to visit STL, to meet you for the slow, sensuous lovemaking that you describe!

Aww, thank you! You're always so nice. Gotta love ya.

[Fratelli]

Originally Posted by evietaylor

I think some men/hobbyists don't feel comfortable with a sensual slow session with a provider due to the nature of the relationship/encounter.

Interesting... I think a lot of provider's don't feel comfortable with it, either. Perhaps afraid the guy has the wrong idea, perhaps just haven't achieved that level of comfort with him (ok, me), perhaps just used to the guy just wanting to prove he's a "champ in the sack", but many just don't seem comfortable with the level of connection that slow, sensual lovemaking engenders and requires. Maybe slow and sensual is reserved for the guy in their real life, I dunno.

[evietaylor]

Originally Posted by Fratelli

Interesting... I think a lot of provider's don't feel comfortable with it, either. Perhaps afraid the guy has the wrong idea, perhaps just haven't achieved that level of comfort with him (ok, me), perhaps just used to the guy just wanting to prove he's a "champ in the sack", but many just don't seem comfortable with the level of connection that slow, sensual lovemaking engenders and requires. Maybe slow and sensual is reserved for the guy in their real life, I dunno.

I agree. Like I said, this has only a few times in my provider career & I have 1 regular who I feel comfortable doing this with. It's a rare thing, feeling such a strong connection with someone & usually takes a few sessions before it happens. I suppose it's safer to not feel that strong of a connection with a client or provider. Better to have wham bam thank you ma'am?

Another thing to consider here is there are some gents who get very little lovemaking at home, if any, for one reason or another. From my experience, a good 90% of the men I meet don't get anything at home. In fact, as soon as I meet a patron, it's the first thing I assume. Probably wrong on my part, but it's the nature of the beast. I just try to give them what I assume they're missing & needing. Slow, fast, or gymnastics, I go with the flow.

[Rogue_Gent]

I'm all about taking my time and enjoying the moment. I'm just not built for speed.

[pyramider]

I take my time ... two minutes and I am done, then its nap time.

[Little Caesar]

Wow Evie! I hope that hobbyist you speak of has a clue of your thoughts. Do you ever travel to Dallas? If not, I'm going to have to schedule a trip to STL.

[pyramider]

Slow sensual lovemaking sounds like a lot of work. Is there something for us lazy fucktards?

[zme]

Definitely slow, sensual and intimate for me. With lots of touching and stroking and kissing. But as evie says, the right connection has to be there.
A beautiful woman is like a fine wine that is best when sipped and not gulped.

[evietaylor]

Originally Posted by Little Caesar

Wow Evie! I hope that hobbyist you speak of has a clue of your thoughts. Do you ever travel to Dallas? If not, I'm going to have to schedule a trip to STL.

I think so...I hope so!

I have no plans to travel to Texas so, I'll guess you'll have to come here.