Impregnated

[CowboyJohn]

I have not hobbied for a while, but I was bored one night and decided to venture back into the hobby. After a couple of "shots" I found a nice young girl who has become a regular for me this last 2 months.

I have kept it very discrete, she only knows me by my first name, she doesn't know where I work or even what I do. She has no idea about my SO, but she knows I have children. When I visit, I go in my Nissan, and I dress down (way down.)

So I go for my weekly "poker night" and she tells me she thinks she is pregnant. Guess whose baby she thinks it is? This is not my first carnival, and I am of course skeptical and suspicious. (I had a regular about five years ago who also told me she was pregnant after about a year that I had been seeing her. She eventually slipped up and I stopped seeing her.) The problem is that this time I am 90% sure it is probably mine (but not yet 100%). I checked the dates against her calendar and I don't think she is lying. There are also some other little subtle things, that put together, make me think that it is mine.

She hasn't asked for money and I haven't promised to give her anything. In Texas, for a child support claim a DNA test is necessary, so I have about 8 more months to figure out what to do. I am very tempted to just walk away from the whole thing, I don't think she could find me if I never saw her again. The only other thing she might know is my car's license plate. BUT....

As I said, I am about 90% sure it is mine. I hate to walk away from the possibility that it is my child. A DNA test is the only way to know 100%, but then she can sue for child support once we knew for sure.

Is there an anonymous way to conduct a DNA test? I am also concerned about child support and birth certificate data. I would adopt the child in a second if it was mine, but SO may not like that idea. SO would definitely find out about child support, but would she know if my name appeared on a birth certificate?

She was very indifferent about the whole thing, she does have one other child which her mom raises (she lives with mom and dad). I suspect she really doesn't care whether I am in the baby's life or not. I think she would let me keep the child (if I could). I think the child would be ok with her parents as well.

I know this got long and rambles a little, it is a lot to think about. Any insight from either side would be appreciated as well as any legal pointers on child support and responsibility.

[BoomShakaLaka]

Fuck legal pointers ---- if the kid is yours TAKE CARE OF IT -- period, If you wanna play -- You gotta pay.

I may sound like an asshole saying this but any body thats has a part in bringing a child into the world and dosent take care of it is no man.



If I misread or misunderstood what you are saying then I apologize for making the assumption

[Jed Clampett]

You say you are 90% sure the baby may be yours, so you should get the DNA test done to erase or confirm your 10% zone of uncertainty. You sound like a real man, since you want to "man up" and accept resposibility if the child is yours. Let's hope it's a false alarm, and I really do hope things work ouout for all involved.

[Guest083013]

CowboyJohn said in part;
".....and decided to venture back into the hobby...."

I do hope you do not mean "hobby" as within this group ; however, I find it hard to believe you are practicing unprotected sex with someone other than your S.O. The first thing I would offer with the girl is to tell her exactly what you are telling the world here and not to hide anything. You may think you are anonymous but in this day and age the possibility of that happening is kinda small.

And yes --- the Yellow Pages listing for Attorneys-at-Law should become your reader's choice.

The DNA test would be performed after delivery has been my most common experience and most times - require a court order if she refuses.

Here are some answers to questions you may have:
http://www.healthanddna.com/paternit...paternity.html

What the Hell does driving a Nissan and dressing down have anything to do with it???

Sorry mate - you ask for thoughts and these are mine!!

I'm afraid the biggest loser here is your S.O.

[JDNorthface]

CJ,

This is a game changer, alright. I'm glad you're asking these questions since it seems to indicate you care. I can imagine that many gents might, at the first suggestion of pregnancy, just turn totally apathetic. OK, so you've taken the right first step.

Next, you'll need to know before you do anything else if indeed she is pregnant. I would recommend that you see the stick turn blue before doing anything.

Following that, your decisions will be guided by whose interests are top priority for you. Either your own, the lady's, or the child's. And I'm sure you'll make the right choice.

Best of luck to you.

[VictoriaLyn]

Originally Posted by BoomShakaLaka

Fuck legal pointers ---- if the kid is yours TAKE CARE OF IT -- period, If you wanna play -- You gotta pay.

I may sound like an asshole saying this but any body thats has a part in bringing a child into the world and dosent take care of it is no man.



If I misread or misunderstood what you are saying then I apologize for making the assumption

To me it looks like he wants to take of the child but wants to make sure it is his before he fucks up his current world...


You can buy a DNA test at Walgreens
http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/ide...202920-product

[Mature Companion]

Damn straight!

He needs to man up and take care of his child for the next 18 years.

Originally Posted by BoomShakaLaka

Fuck legal pointers ---- if the kid is yours TAKE CARE OF IT -- period, If you wanna play -- You gotta pay.

I may sound like an asshole saying this but any body thats has a part in bringing a child into the world and dosent take care of it is no man.



If I misread or misunderstood what you are saying then I apologize for making the assumption

[ArisRose]

Is there no planned parenthood in texas? Have you two not talked about getting rid of it? If she doesn't know your information keep it that way until you can get a dna test. It can be done discreetly through the mail.

[foxyred73]

from lady point of view...i rather see a man take care of child than dead beat dad any day.

after you take an dna test or give the child nice family something like that

[the.namssa]

Makes using a condom seem like a lot better idea now, huh?
I assume you were doing her bareback and that is how she got preggers.

If you did the deed, time to man up and take responsibility for your actions.
Not pretty, but you gotta do what you gotta do, IMHO.

[wcdann]

I have to agree with the.namssa on this one. If your going to practice BBFS with a provider you have to be willing to man up and accept what ever happens from it wether its she gets preg. or you contract a disease. Just be glad all that happened is she got pregnant and that you didnt end up with an STD and took it back home to your SO.

[trynagetlaid]

How can you be 90% sure you're the father just by checking the dates? She's a provider. If she's barebacking you, she's also barebacking several other guys a week. And probably had a boyfriend during that time frame, too.

Just wait until the baby is born. He or she might not look anything like you, might even be mixed. If she asks you for a DNA sample to establish paternity, give her one. If the mail-in test comes back positive, get another one done under a doctor's supervision.

If you're the father, you and she can work out the child-rearing details later. The welfare system will help a lot, just due to the fact that she's not married. She's probably getting a nice check, free health care, milk, diapers, child care, etc on the other kid now.

[Guest083013]

The duty to provide child support payments may be terminated based upon the occurrence of certain events. To begin, child support payments do not have to be made upon the death of the child. In addition, if the child becomes an emancipated minor (this is a legal process by which a child legally separates from his parents), there is no duty to pay child support. Furthermore, if a child enters the armed services and is placed on active duty, the duty to pay child support ceases. Finally, if the child earns an income to the extent that the child supports himself, the parent or guardian no longer has a duty to pay child support.

[Likinikki]

How can you be 90% sure you're the father just by checking the dates? She's a provider.

+1...although, being a provider really has nothing to do with it...girls get pregnant all the time. (lol)

Well, we all screw up...and, I'm sure you've already been beating yourself up enough! Sounds to me you're trying to think of everything all at once. Start from square one:

1. Take her...go with her...to a doctor and get the results. 90% (wherever you got that from) leaves 10% that you may NOT be the father. If you're NOT...all this worry was for nothing. If so...then, you can start worrying and making legal decisions.

2. If you are the father...get a good attorney and ask for their advice.

Good-luck to you!

[atxdream]

My honest unsolicited opinion... You obviously don't care about anyone but yourself.
1) you put your wife at risk by having unprotected sex with someone else
2) you are willing to let her take the fall when you are half responsible for the situation. But ONLY If you think she doesn't have enough info to pin it on u
3) you are willing to leave child to grow up with only half the financial support he or she deserves.
4) the fact that this is not the 1st time you've been in a position where someone can accuse you of getting them pregnant speaks volumes about the risk you are desperate enough to take.

I dont care if I get pointed for this post. Your post lays out point by point why you aren't even close to a decent human being. Only for the child's sake, my advice is to get the DNA test and write her a monthly check but have NO part of raising that child. One of u is enough in this world.