I agree, darlin. Many of my clients are interested in dabbling in darker desires but not sure where to start. We spend time talking a bit about what interests them and what absolutely does NOT interest them. But first sessions (and all those thereafter, but most especially first session) is about the domina paying attention to every reaction of the client. Ready pleasure versus true distress versus a blend of both (ideal!).
Being a fetish queen or a true domina is not for everyone, nor should it be taken lightly...especially if you don't know what you're doing. I, for one, do not play with CBT or anything comparable to it, as am not truly schooled in it and would not harm anyone with my naivete.
Be safe and above all...enjoy!
xoxo
Aela