How many providers are married and how does Hobbing effect the relationship?

[owen401]

I met a girl and we really hit it off well. Long story short, she tells me she is a retired provider. At the time, it really didn't bother me and still doesn't. However, recently money has gotten kinda tight. She is wanting to come out of retirement. I will support her no matter what her decision. My concern is, if she decides to come out of retirement, how will this effect the relationship? Have other hobbiest or providers been in similar situations?

[pyramider]

That will depend on you.

[rrabbit6926]

Just ask for your cut since your having to make a sacrifice of sharing her with others...

[ck1942]

Short story - some (SOME!) people can handle this kind of relationship, but usually only if they enter the relationship with all the facts and conditions on the table from the get-go.

Longer story - relatively few of the providers (and most of their s.o.'s) that I have known to have an s.o. are able to make the relationship work. Usually because the female rules the roost and the male "goes along" or has a cuckold fetish. And, for the most part, most of the providers I have known through many years of hobbying do have a spouse or s.o.

Best of luck in forging ahead with the "un-retirement."

[1blackman1]

If you're cool with her leaving and going suck some strangers dick and swallow his nut and having him bang out her pussy and asshole (maybe sometimes raw) then you're a helluva guy. Now imagine that happening several times a day with several unnamed random dudes big cocks, lil cocks, short stubby cocks, longdong cocks. Then that multiple days a week, you should be fine.

[joesmo888]

she should have told you that info and that she might go back into that BEFORE you got serious.

those are things you discuss before marriage, not after.

[Boudin3112]

If you are serious with this lady, help her find other means of independence - different income other than sex work. Relationship will not work if she starts working again. If she cares for you she will listen and make an effort to do other work, if she is not interested in other work, she is also not interested in you. "Money is not the root of all evil. The love of money is the root of all evil." Better to know before things go too far. People in sex industry cannot have healthy, happy, relationships too much distrust, too much pressure from outside relationship, too much shame, too much guilt, too much feeling not wanted by partner on both sides. I have said this a hundred times, these women do not fuck us because they like us, they just tolerate us and that is why they get paid, to put aside their disgust and let us do with them as we please. I have had providers tell me their best session was with some poor saps that don't even fuck them. I realize you met this lady outside the hobby and she is not working again yet. Maybe you two can make it but she has to be willing to either be dependent on you or find other income or combination of both. Otherwise just have fun with her while you can.

[owen401]

I appreciate the replies. I was hoping to hear from providers as well.

[Boudin3112]

I suspect you will not hear from many providers, this is how they earn an income. By letting guys think they are cared for or liked (repeat clients), not love or romance, but liked by the provider and that she as into it as he is. It is part of the game (how many times have you seen a provider you used to see and she says "I missed you" LOL! or "about time" like she really had two thoughts about you, LOL). You will start to wonder if your partner is playing a game with you, is she working right now as you attempt to be with her or does she truly care for you. Or better yet she will allow some strange guy to cum all over her face but really hates it, does it for the review and the cash, but because she really hates will not do it with you or will do it and feel like a whore while with you and start to dislike your sexual advances. She will not be able to be open or honest with you about work. Like she can never say "I was with this guy I see weekly and we are good friends and he wants to take me to Bora Bora and well that just sounds great and he is a great guy." She does not love the guy nor want to see him outside work but don't we all have work buddies that we would rather not see after hours? But okay to hang out with while working? She will never say that even if she thought it. And you will pick up on this, festering the wonder of distrust. The work in sex inherently blocks open communication which inherently blocks a healthy and happy relationship. You will wonder and she will shut down, it is foolish to think otherwise. Providers are not going to speak up because they know what I say is truth and it they think it could hurt their bottom line profits. It is all an act people. So, If you found a lady that you love and she loves you, keep the communication open by staying out of sex work or play for you as well and find other forms of income or just remain friends. Man, go be happy, take a chance at true happiness, no one here is in that situation. The married guys are obviously not happy with marriage or would not be fucking whores, single guys want that magical feeling of belonging to someone, and the ladies are just desperate for money. Look at the true picture because it sounds like you have a shot right now at the euphoria we all want. Talk openly and honestly about the future and make a plan both short term and long term and go be happy, my friend. I wrote a lot here and I only started to touch on the potential problems. Stay out of sex work or leave her be. I am a romantic so I say go to her and take her but don't ever come back here either of you!

[DallasRain]

Well ya know I gotta say something....lol!

I have been in an open "marriage" for over 30 years......we are best friends & soulmates.....we were swingers in the early days....now we just have fun with a boyfriend or two of my choosing and an occassional girlfriend........and we still have plenty of time to fuck each others brains out with each other!!

I believe if you are honest,open and upfront from the get-go...you will have a happy career & marriage!

[Danielle Reid]

Short answer to the title question:

-Engaged
-No real effect

[finman56]

Miss Dee, having seen you and encountering your SO before and after our date you two are pretty special. I do not say this lightly but I Luv ya.

[bule84]

.

[Victoria of Houston]

Originally Posted by pyramider

That will depend on you.

Originally Posted by owen401

I appreciate the replies. I was hoping to hear from providers as well.

For once Pyramider has contributed something thoughtful, lols.

I agree with this. Every couple and every relationship is different. We live in a time when the "traditional" ideas of relationships no longer apply.

I have non-hobby friends who consider themselves "poly" and may be in a relationship but play with others, or I even know 2 people (a guy and a girl) who have a 3rd "girlfriend" that lives with them.

It's not for everyone, but they are happy, so I don't judge. There are all kinds of lifestyles, and therefore relationship styles, out there.

Now, for myself; I am single and do not currently desire to be in a relationship. I enjoy being single and having the freedom to provide and/or fuck whomever I chose, in my personal life.

If I ever do get to the point where I am ready for a relationship again, or do happen to meet the right person, then I will definitely retire, if I wasn't already. And I've decided that I won't tell my new partner about this part of my life either. If I quit then it is none of his business and holds no bearing on our relationship.

However, as said, everyone is different and every couple is different. I think you just need to do some serious soul searching and decided for yourself, if her coming back to this is something you can handle and will be comfortable with.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says or does. It is all about your personal comfort level.

[SA Angel]

Hmm....I'll bite.

I was in a relationship for a VERY brief moment while in the hobby. It would have been fine except it became obvious that he needed constant reassurance that the hobby was JUST work. I found I couldn't tell him about the good parts of my day because he would sulk. I totally understand where he was coming from, since I've nurtured some wonderful ATFs that are a joy to be with. It was the emotional intimacy I had with my long-term clients that really bothered him.

OP, would you be OK knowing that your wife can genuinely enjoy her time with her ATFs or even a man who is a good lover? Do you absolutely trust her emotional fidelity to you? Are you truly not bothered that she will be BCD with others? Will SHE be okay that you aren't jealous?

Like some of the other girls have already said everyone is difference and only the two of you know what ya'll can handle.