Something for those wannabe Romance novelists on Facebook.
For all of those failed writers of Hallmark cards on Facebook.
What he posted: To my beautiful wife of umpteen years I don’t know what I would have done without you.
The Truth: Are you freakin kidding me? I would have been banging that little Latin girl like a screen door in a hurricane if you hadn’t have gotten pregnant. Why the hell didn’t you tell me you forgot your diaphragm?
What he posted: To my love I miss you so much, the days won’t pass fast enough until I get home.
The Truth: Man it’s great to be away from that hag and her damn housecoat. I could stay here forever, these oriental girls sure know how to please a man.
What he posted: I look back on all of the years we have been together and remember so many good times, thank you for entering my life.
The Truth: Yea right, if I would have only waited a little bit longer I would have been able to do every one of those strippers. It still pisses me off to this day.
What he posted: I am so lucky to have such a wonderful woman that loves me so much.
The Truth: Now if she would just be gone by the time I get home from work today.
What he posted: I only have eyes for you my love.
The Truth: Until I go to the Titty Bar.
What he posted: Happy Birthday my love, I hope we have many more happy years together.
The Truth : I sure am glad Facebook reminded me of her birthday I thought it was in January. I wish she would go stay with her mother for about 20 years.
What he posted: Our love life is just as good as the day we got married.
The Truth: Whenever I sneak away and see my favorite provider. I really can’t remember the last time you gave me an erection.
What he posted: You are just as beautiful as the day I met you.
The Truth: Not even a master at Photoshop could make that face beautiful again.
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