Am I welcome to have this discussion?

[Guest070413]

The ability to have actual discussions with members on the board was once an effective tool I used to learn about the hobby. The collective postings and responses gave me the ability to see another's perspective, learn from others mistakes, prevent many possible blunders, keep myself safe... In turn, after learning and gaining some experience of my own I had an outlet to be able to do the same at times. Has that time passed?

I have seen some things evolve and change, but some things have stayed the same. Certain things are basic fundamentals necessary to be able to make it as safe or fun as you want to make it. It kind of sad when a topic which is relevant with the ability to serve many well can not be discussed.

There is a lot that happens in the background and behind the scenes, always has been. Letting those issues impede the discussion of things relating to safety, security, discretion is a problem. This would have been a good topic worth discussion.

Originally Posted by TheOriginalDannie

Just wondering, as I see the same ladies repeatedly posting things like "I had a great time sucking your cock last Friday at 5PM!" or, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning for our time together!"---is this an effective method of marketing, in your opinion?

Do you gents enjoy it when a lady ignores the fact that a PM system exists? Do some of you gravitate towards this, or is it something you'd rather not be a part of? Is it a matter of who is doing the kissing and telling? I tend to think it is, but I'd rather see what y'all have to say about it.

So..... as the hobby changes drastically, is this practice of kissing and telling on the part of providers, acceptable now? How do you gentlemen feel about it? Especially those of you who have been around for a good long while.

Oh, and good morning!

When a topic like that becomes so derailed to a the point of no return like that what are you supposed to do? Try to post on track 10 pages later?

[Boltfan]

I think relevant comments are always welcome, even if it means wading through the self promotion and pointless bashing.

[pmdelites]

actually, yes. i just did so.
but here it is again.

---------------------------------------------

Originally Posted by dannie

Just wondering, as I see the same ladies repeatedly posting things like "I had a great time sucking your cock last Friday at 5PM!" or, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning for our time together!"---is this an effective method of marketing, in your opinion?
===> pmd: not an effective way to get my attention, but unless we ask the ladies, we'll never know if they consider it effective or ineffective marketing.

Do you gents enjoy it when a lady ignores the fact that a PM system exists?
===> pmd: dont enjoy it, dont dislike. but it does tell me something about the woman. that she's kinda lazy like me.

Do some of you gravitate towards this, or is it something you'd rather not be a part of?
===> pmd: no and yes.

Is it a matter of who is doing the kissing and telling?
===> pmd: no, in my book, lack of discretion by anyone is NOT GOOD, even if it's minor.

So..... as the hobby changes drastically, is this practice of kissing and telling on the part of providers, acceptable now?
===> pmd: not to me, but we'd have to ask everyone and believe their answers before we could make any generalizations.

How do you gentlemen feel about it? Especially those of you who have been around for a good long while.
===> pmd: if it's just a compliment or mention of an upcoming session, and does not include dates and/or places, i dont mind.

so, if there's a post like this one, is that OK??
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...&postcount=126
rather innocent, just mentions that he sees her every week [as best we can believe], but doesnt mention which day, what time, or what place.
i think this post is acceptable.


dannie, you could have told us how you feel about it then ask us how we feel about it. or vice-versa.

[yourself]

no one brought it up in the original post ... maybe this is just "coincidence" but the timing of that thread makes it look like a poorly veiled jab at some recent posts by Tara Evans.

[Tara Evans]

I was thinking the same thing.

[Guest070413]

I think when the discussion went immediately in the direction of demanding names it became fairly apparent to anyone who can read that something may have seemed that way. Does that mean it should become more important to discuss despite the possibility for actual discussion of something useful to know? Knowing if it was a jab or not doesn't help anyone. If someone is new or just checking in from not being active on the forum lately and didn't know Tara, pointing things like that out make it seem as though your saying Tara is guilty of being indiscreet because why else would anyone make that assumption. Then all the sudden it may feel like you just connected the dots to a potential problem some otherwise may not have been aware of. Piling on makes it appear more true. It doesn't flatter either of the ladies in the end to point out and focus on that sort of thing.

Irritating as it may be, many of the girls on here are not friends, never will be and are willing to let us publicly know. Members who post can focus on that choosing to take sides and build alliances or they can post on the topic that was brought up itself. The post didn't name anyone. Members chose to spend a lot of time and effort making the suspected origins of her musings more important than the topic itself. This was a choice. Anyone not interested in being involved in the personal battles ends up having to suffer through that choice if they have something to add on the topic. When it goes that direction I am apprehensive to join on the discussion at all.

Who wants to walk into a bar and have to sit in the middle of a fight to order a drink and meet people? Not me. That is essentially what it feels like. It's not a welcoming situation.

I just found the attacks to be disappointing on this topic because despite how suspect anyone may feel about the intent there were many good points. People could have just as easily made the choice to address how they felt about discretion and why rather than make it about the interpersonal conflict. Discretion has been less observed than it could be. Having a full discussion of why its needed can teach or remind a reader of why its so important and necessary.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by yourself

no one brought it up in the original post ... maybe this is just "coincidence" but the timing of that thread makes it look like a poorly veiled jab at some recent posts by Tara Evans.

I do not thinck so. Also, I do not thinck TheOriginalDannie post was directly aimed at Tara. But she, and others, perceived it to be and the thread went the interesting route. Believe it or not ... not everything thread is about Tara. Holy Tebow, she would then be the female version of the catman in Houston, boardman.

There will always be some chatter between the ladies and the fucktards. Some fucktards like to show the ladies how much they know. Whereas I do not ... I know very little and am happy that way. I have enough issues in real life that I do not need more in the hobby.

Now the example of

Originally Posted by dannie
Just wondering, as I see the same ladies repeatedly posting things like "I had a great time sucking your cock last Friday at 5PM!" or, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning for our time together!"

is not good. But I am old and still believe there are certain rules, or decorum, that need to be followed. Its no one's business on icky where my 1.3" of dangling death is, much less where it was at 5 pm last Friday, or who I might see tomorrow. Those examples things should be texted or PMed.

Seriously what lady would brag about seeing me? None is the correct answer. They may ridicule me, and my performance, but brag ... not in this lifetime. Unfortunately, by the time I saw TheOriginalDannie's thread it already had 80+ posts.

So Elysa, the newbie ladies, and fucktards, need to learn to shift thru the rubble and gleam the pertinent information in all threads, not just the one you brought up. Thinck of it a SHMB's version of panning for gold. And just so members of icky do not thinck someone has hacked my account ... you really should post some taint.

[Guest070413]

PMD thank you for posting a reply on that topic!

I read the link with the AW post. My honest reply is A Huge no. Let me tell you why. When a guy does a review it is fact that they are not all true. Everyone knows this. Although I don't know what Eccle's reasoning is, on forums elsewhere there is a reason ladies originally could not comment on their reviews at all. It wasn't for sake of cutting out self promotion, but for legal reasons in many cases. If a lady ever catches heat the first thing they do is go print out and make copies of every post you ever ever made and all the reviews that go with it for the judge and everyone else to have their own copy to refer to. You have just taken away all possible deniability. In some areas if you have made posts of admittance like those and have more than 10 reviews there is no fighting a charge cause YOU have admitted in open forum they don't need you to consent to Anything. You have just made their job easy because now if you show up meet them at all under the same number and email info you have listed on the handle connected to the reviews is the Only piece missing. Before that it is just writings of a fan that you never confirmed you met. Meaning they have more work.

If the guy has publicly made mention of meeting you it is a sweet thought to want to give him more than a thank you for the kind words note. For the purpose of not making yourself an easy target so she can continue to see people she would be wise to not do that.

[Guest071613-2]

Let me answer the original questions in order, lovely lady!

(a) Yes, that time seems to have passed.
(b) Grab a nice bottle of Pinot and catch up on Game of Thrones while the storm brews. Winter is coming!!!!!!
(c) Nah. Just sit back and wait for it's death.

The thread was not about Tara. Repeat after me:
It was not about Tara.
Misspriss made it about Tara before she disabled her account. I actually go on to describe the lady who inspired my post as "well known, exceptionally popular provider who has always been in excellent standing in the eyes of the community."

What also inspired my post, was just what I described seeing. It was not necessarily any one particular lady, it was many...it was one. It was vague, but it was NOT about the people who wanted it to be about them because they thrive on negative attention.

It was the multiple requests I get from gents to "please not check with ______ _______ on my p411 okays because she won't see me again...has said she doesn't like you...etc". Yet, I see this lady posting (granted she actually has not posted in quite some time) making it very well known about who she's seen, details, and other minutiae, on a regular basis. Irksome.

Elysa, maybe you will have more luck than I did .

I also agree with you on the AW example, Elysa. A simple "Thank You" is enough IMO.

[Luke Skywalker]

Dannie,

I also didn't think it was about Tara. If anything, I could have been against Misspriss, because for sure the shoe fit, she immediately responded, then accused you of trying to accuse Tara somehow. One the deflation was out, she withdrew from the thread.

Petty disputes that didn't add anything to the important issue you brought up. Sometimes people forget how important discretion is. I had once a lovely provider hint that she had an appointment with me, it was true but she was just joking. There were no consequences, but I imagined if for any reason I had told someone else that I wasn't available that week..... it might have.

We are all human beings that make mistakes. I think at one time or another we are all unintentionally guilty of indiscretion for no mean reasons, and it is important to think before clicking "post".

[midgetwrestler]

Maybe Tara and Dannie need to just kiss and makeup, I volunteer to be there to witness the proceedings.

[pyramider]

Dang, ladies jealously keeping fucktards from others? Every lady I have seen happily give references for me ... Oh I get it, they want someone else to deal with me.

[Chevalier]

Originally Posted by Elysa Scott

There is a lot that happens in the background and behind the scenes, always has been. Letting those issues impede the discussion of things relating to safety, security, discretion is a problem.

The reason we have brou-hahas like that is simple. Some -- not all, but some and maybe even many -- discussions are started not to exchange views or express opinions but as a passive-aggressive way to take a shot at someone. They ask "Is this wrong?" when what they really mean is "X does this and I highly disapprove of it/her, can you give her a bitchslap for me?" Or "X, I know you're going to read this, this is my way of saying that I dislike you and your behavior, but without risking getting points." When I read them, from the context my reaction is that it's not a serious question. It's obviously being framed in a way to elicit a particular response for which the original poster already has a strong opinion. Do they really expect a contrary response (other than from a contrarian like me)? And if the discussion descrbies (without naming) a particular person, with whom the original poster has quarreled publicly? Even more likely that's what's going on.

For that matter, it goes beyond the original poster. Even if the original post was intended as a serious question, others may frame their responses to the post as a passive-aggressive attack against someone in particular.

And sometimes the "passive-aggressive attack without actually naming the person" becomes more direct, naming names.

It may not be intended as a passive-aggressive attack against an enemy who arguably exhibits the behavior complained of. But even if not so intended, it is extremely likely to be perceived that way. Potentially even by persons it wasn't aimed at. And when they feel "attacked," they often lash out in response. We are all over-sensitive to what feels like public criticism.

Anyone who has been on boards like this has seen lots of posts over the years that closely resemble passive-aggressive attacks. It is, unfortunately, human nature. Either because there's a lot of pent-up anger out there, or because it's not easy to express yourself in a way that won't be interpreted as an attack; some people either don't know how or don't take the effort.

Were Dannie's post and some of the responses intended as a passove-aggressive attack? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. The posters are the only ones who really know what was in their hearts when they posted.

It's not completely surprising that someone might have taken them that way, though.


My perspective. YOMV.

[Jules Jaguar]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Dang, ladies jealously keeping fucktards from others? Every lady I have seen happily give references for me ... Oh I get it, they want someone else to deal with me.

It happens more than you think! Happens to me all the time. Same as every time I post an ad or I get a review it automatically gets one star. LOL

Haters gonna hate

[txcwby6]

First, I wish I could get my chat function working. It'd be nice to be able to interact with the Providers in that fashion prior to making an appointment.

Second, Elysa...you have an incredible selection of edible parts. You look like a virtual Adult Disneyland for a man looking to be made Happy and drained.

Lastly. Jules just cannot get much sexier......gotta be a crime to ooze sensuality like that. Must admit I find a woman with some paint very hot.