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Old 05-01-2017, 08:42 AM   #1
bluffcityguy
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Default Prolonging the moment...

I'm sure you've heard the advice given to men, about how they can keep from ejaculating too quickly by the method of thinking about baseball... Reading a reference to this in a recent review reminds me of this monologue of Woody Allen's from back in his days as a standup comedian:

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I have to explain this very delicately, 'cause it's really tentative. As I... as I am an inordinately... passionate... man. Volatile. Sensual. In general a stud. When making love... when making love... in an effort...to prolong... the moment of ecstasy... I think of baseball players. All right, now you know. The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal.

She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.
--Woody Allen, "Second Marriage", from the album Standup Comic

Cheers,

bcg
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Old 05-01-2017, 12:02 PM   #2
SlowHand50
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Woody also said: “Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
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Old 05-01-2017, 12:16 PM   #3
bluffcityguy
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Originally Posted by SlowHand50 View Post
Woody also said: “Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
That it is.

Though whenever I change hands I am wracked with guilt because I'm being unfaithful.

Cheers,

bg
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Old 05-01-2017, 01:55 PM   #4
Lena Duvall
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Got a kick out of this!

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Originally Posted by bluffcityguy View Post
Though whenever I change hands I am wracked with guilt because I'm being unfaithful.
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Old 05-01-2017, 03:56 PM   #5
JustaGuyinMS
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Great thread! I'll be thinking of baseball when I see the next lady.

JaG
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