Reinventing your self an inquiry into ethics

[Naomi4u]

]

Originally Posted by M A X

No, I don't understand doing that, nor can I think of a reason this would occur, unless the lady is just bored and enjoys having different names, sites, emails, etc. to keep up with. From what I've observed, offering different services and rates would be the most prevalent reasons a provider would have multiple names. Actually, I am creating a new persona to travel, just for rate purposes. I simply need to make a bit more to cover those expenses and be able to indulge myself a bit while away from home without taking away from my normal income. No biggie, or at least I don't think so.

That makes sense. Just remember to take new pictures for that new persona. I know a lady that created a new persona for different arrangements. Different site, different rates, different name but same pictures.. uh? Fail!

As to those who just need to make a break from their old names due to mistakes they've made, sure, we all make mistakes. Depends on the sincerity of the individual in facing those mistakes whether they should be helped in starting with a new name, but we almost all have gents who are willing to help us when needed, no matter what we do. (Yet another chance to thank the many men who are supportive of what we do. Thank you.) I've seen and heard some wild and crazy things, since wandering into this community, that I never would have imagined providers or hobbyists would do.

I agree.

IMO, outting someone is the worst thing a provider can do. Not sure that deserves another chance unless there are some very serious extenuating circumstances.

[R.M.]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I think, after 105 posts, you are actually answering the OP's question: should you out the "name changer"???

Paraphasing, I'm hearing you, in your view, saying, "Sure"

The names should be posted on a sticky at the top of forms black mailers and people that out others.I totally agree.
I was outed at my job that I have been at for the past seven years and it has changed my life and not in a good way. He knew exactly what he was doing and what it would cost me and he continues to make hooker jokes when I do get to work which is about once a year now sense I have been black listed. I do wonder if black mailers and people who out others ever wonder what kind of damage they do after they walk away with that little short term funds they received.

[Wakeup]

You two can just throw your info about her out there and see how they react to it. Remember, this isn't Houston though...the pussy footing around is getting old...

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Reese McClain

The names should be posted on a sticky at the top of forms black mailers and people that out others.I totally agree.
I was outed at my job that I have been at for the past seven years and it has changed my life and not in a good way. He knew exactly what he was doing and what it would cost me and he continues to make hooker jokes when I do get to work which is about once a year now sense I have been black listed. I do wonder if black mailers and people who out others ever wonder what kind of damage they do after they walk away with that little short term funds they received.

Just out of curiosity, if the guy doesn't hobby, what good would it do to sticky his name here?

On the other hand, what conduct would affect the "outers" whether they hobby or not across the board?

I AM sorry this has happened to you, and agree that it should not have. But since you can't unring a bell, the question then becomes, "how do you clean up spilled milk?" (to mix the metaphors).

And, as an aside, I don't think they know or care about the damage they do. What goes around comes around. If this guy does stuff like this, then a lot of people would like to see him get his comeuppance. All it takes is a little ingenuity...

[Bebe Le Strange]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I don't see anything wrong with it. I have done it before (Client showed up at family Christmas party/long story) and If I had to I would do it again. Changing your name isn't deceitful. Having 10 different personas is.

Agreed. Not sure why the male hobbyists on the board always think there is something deceitful, or negative when a provider changes her name. Most times she is just trying to create a new "look" or feel to her advertising in the hopes of gaining new business or marketing to a particular clientele that she may not have tapped into before. Most of her regulars will know who she is.

With the male hobbyists only one can speculate..lol

[R.M.]

He does hobby he found my ad on Eros. I do have all of his info including face pic.
What comes around goes around. I love fair play. Thanck you for your kind words.
And it sucks to start over.

[Bebe Le Strange]

Originally Posted by Reese McClain

He does hobby he found my ad on Eros. I do have all of his info including face pic.
What comes around goes around. I love fair play. Thanck you for your kind words.
And it sucks to start over.

Wow Reese so sorry that happened to you. What a DICK! I am assuming by what you posted he was trying to get something from you hence blackmailing you?

I don't think people who do crap like that care how much pain or drama they cause someone when they do things like that.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Reese McClain

The names should be posted on a sticky at the top of forms black mailers and people that out others.I totally agree.
I was outed at my job that I have been at for the past seven years and it has changed my life and not in a good way. He knew exactly what he was doing and what it would cost me and he continues to make hooker jokes when I do get to work which is about once a year now sense I have been black listed. I do wonder if black mailers and people who out others ever wonder what kind of damage they do after they walk away with that little short term funds they received.

Sorry this happened to you Resse.

*****

This is exactly why I am all for a girl changing her persona. Some of you say "If you really had a stalker/blackmailer why don't you just retire or go UTR". Well some of us can't afford to go UTR or retire. I'm big on saving for this reason. I didn't work for months after that Christmas party and relied on my savings account up until a few weeks ago. A lot of providers don't have this option because they do not save! Hell most of them don't even pay taxes.... and that's another thread .

A friend of mine was outed AT her child's daycare! One reason why showing your face on websites/ads isn't a great idea. You never know how far one will go to ruin you. Yes some women tell their families and everything is happy happy joy joy but that's not the case with my family. If my family were to find out about my role in the hobby, I'd fake my death, shave all my hair off, move to an island and change my name to "Bruce".

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

First of all I'll say I'm not a big fan of multiple pesonalities or namechangers in general.

To answer your question, though, it is to create a larger advertising presence.

Let me state I'm referring to the broader escort market, not D&T or even the research intensive eccie clientele. Most guys just want a pretty face that will fuck to show up on their door in an hour or two.

Take an ad site like Eros. A major city might have a couple hundred ads. Odds of a guy clicking on a lady (& subsequently calling) go up if she buys additional ads under different names. Sure a couple savvy guys might figure out that ABC, DEF & GHI are all the same person (or agency) but their phone lines are lit up and they don't care.

I'd forgotten about that. I had the misfortune of seeing a gal in Miami a number of years ago that had over 20 different identities on Eros -- all going to 2 cell numbers. I doubt she ever got a 2nd date, but got lots of 1st ones.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Camille

And you are absolutely right Nina, it doesn't just happen to the crazy women. I don't believe that for a second.

xx

True, When i told friends about that incident that happened to my best friend/provider collegue, some were making comments like "oh god what kind of people do you know?" as if she , who is the victim is responsible for what has happened to her. That is outrageous. Stuff like that happens and then you have to not talk about it, because its bad company?? This can happen to anyone any day. You just need to encounter some freak, no matter if you are a provider or not.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Just out of curiosity, if the guy doesn't hobby, what good would it do to sticky his name here?

he must because how would he find out about providers and two identities? you need to be pretty fit in the internet and the hobby to do that...

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Wayward

For RK we agree one can never know what is in another's heart. At what point does that simple truth have to step aside for the good of the community?

Sadly WW?...that can only be answered by the one with the knowledge of the facts. That would be you.

I would suggest you...

1) Step back and determine your motivations. Are you doing this for noble (good of the community) reasons, or vindictive (personal vendetta) reasons?

2) What is the severity of the known infraction? In other words, an infraction that involves a Diamond talking some idiot out of a few extra dollars is not the same as an infraction of blackmailing some Tuxedo. Of course as we know, in real life, there are all kinds of shades of gray inbetween.

3) Based on the severity of the infraction, is there a way to provide this information in a less obtrusive manner that has less chance of unintended consequences?

4) Finally, in the interest of self preservation, you had better make sure whatever you do does not have a way of impacting you negatively...at least not in a manner that has any real meaning.

But in the end...it is up to you. You weigh all the facts you know, you make a self reflective check of you own shortcomings, and you take a step into the unknown (i.e the future)...and you live with the consequences. There ain't much way around that.

Somehow I think you know most of this. But we all look for that magic formula that tells us the right answer. Sadly, most of the time, there ain't one.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

he must because how would he find out about providers and two identities? you need to be pretty fit in the internet and the hobby to do that...

Agreed.

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Sorry this happened to you Resse.

*****

This is exactly why I am all for a girl changing her persona. Some of you say "If you really had a stalker/blackmailer why don't you just retire or go UTR". Well some of us can't afford to go UTR or retire. I'm big on saving for this reason. I didn't work for months after that Christmas party and relied on my savings account up until a few weeks ago. A lot of providers don't have this option because they do not save! Hell most of them don't even pay taxes.... and that's another thread .

A friend of mine was outed AT her child's daycare! One reason why showing your face on websites/ads isn't a great idea. You never know how far one will go to ruin you. Yes some women tell their families and everything is happy happy joy joy but that's not the case with my family. I come from a very proud family and my dad is very well-known. If my family were to find out about my role in the hobby, I'd fake my death, shave all my hair off, move to an island and change my name to "Bruce".

As I understand it, Reese's problem was that it affected her RL job. Her hobby life was not affected that much. She is starting over in the RW. That's why she's only working twice a year. At least that is my understanding.

Yeah, and this normally peaceful guy (me) thinks the dude should suffer for his conduct. Had it been a slip of the tongue, that would be one thing. But it wasn't. He still ribs her. He's probably trying to blackmail her into free sessions, too. Wouldn't put much past him (the pond scum--and that's using the nice words I know ).

[Camille]

Originally Posted by Wayward

Let me pick on Camille for a moment because her posts were great. She went in two different directions and then came to a conclusion that I share up to a point, I don't want to "out" anyone. Unless and this is why I'm quoting the snot out of myself and onehitter, unless there is an overwhelming reason to do so. As some of you may have guessed I have been presented with such a situation.

Camille seems to think that the goal of all this is to justify outing someone's personal information and that is just not the case. It is about highlighting a pattern of behaviors that would trouble current and potential new clients of a active provider that has distanced herself from those behaviors by changing names.

Wayward:

I completely understand the goal...and as my first post said, couldn't initially really see an issue with sharing the info you find. What I am now worried about is that others then run with this initial info and dig further...into real info territory. That's what I meant when I called it a rolling stone that gathers momentum. The reasons for bringing such issues to light are not necessarily nefarious, but digging for (and using) real info typically is.
Also, let's not forget that sometimes women with multiple ID's are run by pimps. Figuring out how to protect yourself without angering the pimp (to the extent that he takes it out on the woman) is something else to think about it. It's just complicated to me...and I'd leave alone. I just wouldn't want to get involved. I mean look at it this way (and no offense to you Naomi) you have already had Naomi say she has looked at whois...which contains real info. What if a really disgruntled guy did that? I know, I know the woman should have behaved better but an eye for an eye is just dangerous territory. Do you really want to bring the sort of attention to someone that leads another to go looking up info like that? Once they have it, they have it..and you cannot predict what they will do with it. It only takes one pissed off person to abuse info that you never intended to be abused...as I said before, you cannot control others. People should never surprise you either.

C

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Agreed.



As I understand it, Reese's problem was that it affected her RL job. Her hobby life was not affected that much. She is starting over in the RW. That's why she's only working twice a year. At least that is my understanding.

Yeah, and this normally peaceful guy (me) thinks the dude should suffer for his conduct. Had it been a slip of the tongue, that would be one thing. But it wasn't. He still ribs her. He's probably trying to blackmail her into free sessions, too. Wouldn't put much past him (the pond scum--and that's using the nice words I know ).

That post was not directed to Reese. The top part was. I thought the stars showed that but I guess not.