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Maybe get some of your fellow hobbyist to meet up with you and kick the shit out of you and bring you back to your senses, getting the love bug for a provider is a car wreck waiting to happen. Many guys think wow this girl likes me and I damn sure like her, because she gives you a good fuck and acts like I'm the girl for her, it's called customer service, you get what you pay for.
You can have a friendship but it should stop there, keep fellings out of it, have a good day, JR
Putting the Tough Love approach aside, it is very easy to find you like someone a bit more than "just friends". That can happen in any contact that is regular (escort, massage, hairdresser - yeah, guys go to them, nurse, doctor, etc.). Keeping your shield up takes a conscious effort.
The advice to "run" probably is best, but sometimes you'd find it easier to give up (insert your personal addiction here). If someone you enjoy seeing moves or changes jobs, you can feel a real loss.
Perhaps that is why it is best to check your feelings at the door. Anyone have suggestions on how to make that easy? I'm sure the OP is dealing with some complex feelings about this. His attraction is still available and he may be headed for a reality crash. The feelings are not always reciprocated and good service or friendliness can easily be misinterpreted.
I'll be the one to say it. OP, the thing is, you aren't really in love with her. I'm not saying your feelings aren't genuine, I'm sure they are. The problem is that we providers have a working persona and then there's our, the rest of the time, persona.
We (most of us) create a persona to protect ourselves because we work so intimately. There are aspects of our personalities that we let you see and others that we keep to ourselves. When it's love, you love that whole person. How can you when you don't get to see all that she is?
Take it for what it is. A wonderful thing that you're going to get to experience many times. It's not often that we get to be with wonderful guys who really care about us.
This is my opinion, there are different ones out there.
Great post Dharma, but what if she does allow him to see all of her, before she flips the script on him. In my situation I had hung out with this lady and her family on more than one occasion. That's what got me to let my gaurd down and trust her more than I should. I didn't consider her a friend just because how well she took a dick or how well we fucked each others brains out.
I have never been the "Pussy-whooped" type of guy. You know the type crying over the pussy or using someone else's phone to get to see the lady because she is trying to avoid a brother type. No pussy in the world is worth that shit.
I helped this lady out and she fucked me over in the worst way and when ever she gets caught in her lies, she is excellent at playing the victim and trying to twist shit around to be anyone but her own fault.
To the OP, Dharma gives great advice here. Hindsight being 20/20, thats exactly how I would have kept things in the past.
KeepinItReal, you're true to your handle. You have a valid point and I'm sorry you got screwed. Truth is, there a lot of kinds of predators out there. Including providers who use their position (no pun intended) to take advantage of a client in every way possible. I will point out that just because she's a provider, it doesn't mean she'll automatically fuck him over. There are women everywhere that will take a man for all she can get.
OP, many people have given you the same advice, DON'T DO IT (don't go after this woman) for several different reasons. These men have been in the game for a good bit and their experience is solid. I hope you listen and back away from a situation that can really burn you. The chance of any relationship making it is slim. Add all this to it and the chances drop to miniscule numbers. If you choose to pursue this lady, do so with your eyes open and keep yourself firmly grounded in reality. She's a provider and sells an image and experience. You are a client. Remember what you were looking for in the first place. Good luck.
...Perhaps that is why it is best to check your feelings at the door. Anyone have suggestions on how to make that easy? I'm sure the OP is dealing with some complex feelings about this. His attraction is still available and he may be headed for a reality crash. The feelings are not always reciprocated and good service or friendliness can easily be misinterpreted.
I guess we're back to "run".
I thought I'd take a crack at answering your question. A lot of hobbyists create a persona too. It's more than just changing their name. They say they have a different job (perhaps is what they really wanted to do), they say they're from a different place, things along these lines.
Essentially, they create for themselves a whole different person. Maybe it's who they really want to be or maybe it's one that will make hobbying more exciting for them. There are thousands of reasons but the result is the same. It's a shield that protects them from things like a psycho provider all the way to protecting their feelings. I remember that assfuck guy who said he wore disguises to sessions, I don't mean that. That's guy was a wingnut. Just changing a few details in your story to keep you safe and to make it more fun. The key to having a great time is all in the mind, after all. Am I on the right track here?
I thought I'd take a crack at answering your question. A lot of hobbyists create a persona too. It's more than just changing their name. They say they have a different job (perhaps is what they really wanted to do), they say they're from a different place, things along these lines.
Essentially, they create for themselves a whole different person. Maybe it's who they really want to be or maybe it's one that will make hobbying more exciting for them. There are thousands of reasons but the result is the same. It's a shield that protects them from things like a psycho provider all the way to protecting their feelings. I remember that assfuck guy who said he wore disguises to sessions, I don't mean that. That's guy was a wingnut. Just changing a few details in your story to keep you safe and to make it more fun. The key to having a great time is all in the mind, after all. Am I on the right track here?
Dharma, we've only met once and what impressed me most was you are very intelligent. Well, skilled too, but pretty damned smart. I enjoyed talking computers with you.
I've never been a very good actor or liar. If something is too personal (usually something that may ID me), I can't lie but I can change the subject or say it is getting too close to home. Perhaps my openness makes me assume others are the same. From that, vulnerability grows. It is more likely in a real life connection than in the hobby where some level of deception and privacy is paramount.
What you say is correct in that we hide parts of our lives in the hobby even if we are truthful in what we do divulge. For true emotions to develop, the whole must be known. It is who we are.
For some reason,this reminds me of a signature line I saw recently: "Be yourself, everyone else is taken".
Ask any provider I have been with... They will confirm that I have developed feelings for them. I fact I love them. Love is such a beautiful thing. I love to love.
Ask any provider I have been with... They will confirm that I have developed feelings for them. I fact I love them. Love is such a beautiful thing. I love to love.
