Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
I hope it all works out, Rheke. You seem like a really nice guy.  |
Heh, I'm not so sure I want to be known as a "nice guy". Too often that means, "sucker".
What I am is very empathetic. I am very much able to extrapolate what another person is thinking and feeling based on my own experiences and observations. I am the type who tends to give people a chance to show who they are while giving them some insight as to who I am.
There's a few things I notice about some people that really both annoy and amuse me.
I have an incredible "spidey-sense" / bullshit meter and I can see through a lie extremely well. I prefer to deal in honesty. The ironic thing is that I had to learn, as a child, to lie extremely well in order to survive an unfortunate situation. And if I choose, I know exactly how to formulate and maintain the most effective falsehoods. As a result, most people's lies to me seem clumsy and laughable. And I will give someone just enough rope to show me their honesty and call them out.
You don't really need to lie to me. The idea of informed choice is almost sacred to me. In order to make any sort of contract or relationship work, there has to be a meeting of the minds. You tell me your needs and what you can do, I share mine and if they match, or if we can find an acceptable middle ground, we can do business.
Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Just lay out what it is and in most cases I'm flexible enough to find a way to make things work to a mutually positive outcome. I love win-win situations.
I'm not really a nice guy. I have a huge stripe of nasty, black, dark, meanness inside me that frightens me. What I have is a caged monster. When I was a kid, I had this dream. It started with my family sitting at the dinner table, dead, eviscerated. And then this thing is chasing me. It's claws and blood and teeth and drool and it finally catches me. And as I feel its claws sinking into my belly and ripping and feel its breath tainted with stale blood and drool across my face, I realize that monster is me.
I wish I'd saved the poem I wrote in my high school creative writing class about that dream. The teacher loved it, and after reading it out load, one kid in the class actually said I was one sick bastard.
That was when I was 6, that I had that dream.
I have a very interesting self-image. Even my family does not really understand it. The women tend to think I feel like a bad person or something. They always want to tell me I'm a good person.
That's not really what it is. What I am is what I choose to be. That is independent of what I am capable of. In my life I have been pushed to some extremes and I know exactly what I will do when backed into a corner. And while I choose not to let that monster have free roam over my choices, I do draw internal strength from knowing that the only way you will ever keep me down is to kill me. You can beat me down as much as you want to try, I won't stop fighting back and I've taken worse beatings from better than you.
I think I actually have a pretty decent concept of who I am and I do factor in both my strengths and weaknesses. I'm strong enough to look at things I don't do well and do things to make changes when I have to. I'm proud of my successes and I learn from my failures and most of all I have taken everything that life has thrown at me and found some way to use it to my advantage.
But, I'm not the prototypical "nice guy". I'm an asshole too.
Earlier this year I was reading "The Game".
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Neil-Stra...words=the+game
And a few things really struck me. First off, yeah, I do some of the "nice guy" things. Not all the time, not all of them. For the most part, I think that's mainly the effect of being in the generation I am and what I learned about romance and courtship.
But the other thing is that I do not suffer from issues talking to women. I have absolutely no fears about asking a women out and telling her exactly what is on my mind and she can say yes, or no and I'm just fine with whatever.
I do get irritated at dating games, and when a girl doesn't have the fortitude to give an honest answer, a straight-up yes or no or maybe. We all like different things and who I am does not depend one fucking iota on what you think of me.
Now, if you're a friend, and you've shown your value over time and you have something valuable to tell me that will help me in life, even if it's negative, that's a different story.
But most of the time, I'm really engaging my personal curiosity about someone and trying to see if they can handle being real with me. I like real. I'm real. Let's be real together and find a way to make each others life better. If it ain't there, let's go our different ways and good luck.
I stopped getting nervous about asking girls out in high school. I only ever stammered at it once, and that was before high school. I really don't get the incredible poor self-esteem of PUA's. For the most part, it was an interesting read and there is value there in understanding how women can behave.
Just because I let a situation play out to a degree does not mean I am fooled in the least. Particularly now. I will give a person a chance to do the right thing. And I will take care of the people who take care of me. But I have also let a person think they were having their way just to study them for my own reasons.
There is one branch of my family that is filled with some of the most cunning, manipulative people I've ever met. I'm not stupid. I just want to see who you really are. If you act halfway decent, have my back when you say you do, then I'll find some way to have your back within my limits. Otherwise, you will be kicking rocks.
Most people think they are more special than they really are. Myself included. But every time, without exception, when a person has chosen to ignore what I have told them about me, when they thought they could pull a fast one, they have ended up in a far worse situation. And they do it to themselves. Every time.
The smart people, they hear me. And they benefit from knowing me.
I might have a thing for rescuing kittens. But when a cat keeps spraying and being destructive, it goes to the pound. It's all about the choices you make.
I guess I'd sum it up as saying I prefer to be nice. I prefer to find ways to work with people. It's a choice I make. But I will walk away and let Life pound your ass into the ground if you act stupid. Push me to the point where I don't care, hit those buttons that set me off, and I guarantee you, I have the ability to shut off whatever emotion I think I have for you in less than a split second.
I'm not nice, I just try to be nice. You can benefit from being a part of my life, or you can enjoy sleeping in your own mess, that's on you.
My Bio Page - Texas - Dallas
xo
