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Greeneyed Blossom · 08-24-2013, 12:39 PM

that's funny!

Buckskin · 08-25-2013, 12:56 PM

A bolt, a screw and a nail walk into a bar.....

Guest062716 · 08-25-2013, 01:35 PM

LMAO I have never been bolted in a bar......

knotty man · 08-25-2013, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buckskin

A bolt, a screw and a nail walk into a bar.....

.....lookin for a nut. lol

randomguy2010 · 08-25-2013, 05:40 PM

Lil Tex, those were golden. Gotta remember those.

Chuck Norris was once cast as an antagonist and protagonist for a series of movies. In the first he was the antagonist and in the sequel he was the protagonist. The films were scrapped and redone because the director soon discovered that Chuck was incapable of losing to the protagonist in the first movie and incapable of dying as the hero in the sequel.

This film was then redone with Arnold Schwarzenegger replacing the respective roles.

He'll be back.

Vivian Ward · 09-10-2013, 10:02 AM

What do you call a blonde with pigtails?

A blowjob with handlebars

Guest062716 · 09-10-2013, 05:16 PM

Nice, and love that signature block

Guest062716 · 09-11-2013, 02:25 PM

Why is divorce so popular in Texas?

Because murder is a capital offense here.

Guest062716 · 09-29-2013, 08:42 AM

Did you hear about the girl that was soooo slow?

Before she could object to her date that she "wasn't that kind of girl" she was.........

OldSarge is just glad that I live in the relatively drama free region of this site........

Guest042015 · 09-29-2013, 11:58 PM

How many trees does it take to make it so you can't see the forest? 19

What do you call a tree knocked off it's pedestal? A shrub

What do you call a tree that's been cut down at the knees? A stump

I'm sure you can see the theme here :-)

Guest062716 · 09-30-2013, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDMcGee

How many trees does it take to make it so you can't see the forest? 19

What do you call a tree knocked off it's pedestal? A shrub

What do you call a tree that's been cut down at the knees? A stump

I'm sure you can see the theme here :-)

OMG! I spewed coffee on my keyboard this morning reading this! Too funny!

For the members of our corner who don't get this, here are two references that will clue you in: http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=843819 and http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=852202.

(On a side note, love the new avatar, beautiful!)

Glad we don't have that level of board drama in our corner of ECCIE. One of the reasons I was happy to step down years ago as an Austin mod. Too much drama there.

Respectfully,

OldSarge

jb0006 · 10-02-2013, 05:52 PM

A man goes fishing at a local lake, after a few hours of fishing he begins to hear a strange noise coming from the dock area. He goes down to check it out and finds a woman with no arms, no legs, sitting in a motorized wheelchair. She is crying and being a good guy he's a little worried so he goes down and asks her if everything was ok.
She replies, "I'm 21 years old and have never been hugged by a man." The guy says, "Hey it's ok, I'll give you a hug just stop crying" and does so, and she leaves.

The next day the guy is fishing at the same spot and after a few hours he hears the crying sound again and goes down to the dock. The girl is sitting there in her wheelchair crying again. He asks hear what was going on and why she was crying again. She replies, "I'm 21 years old and have never been kissed by a man." The guy says, "Hell I'll kiss you if you'll stop crying, I'm trying to fish over there." So he kisses her and she leaves.

The 3rd day the man is fishing again and before he even gets to cast he hears the crying. He thinks to himself, "this shit has GOT to stop." So he goes to the dock and there's the girl in the wheelchair crying. Clearly annoyed, he walks up to her and asks, "what's your problem now?" The girl replies, "I'm 21 years old and I've never been fucked before." So the guy picks the girl up out of the wheelchair and throws her into the water and says, "Well you're fucked now."

Buckskin · 10-02-2013, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldSarge

OMG! I spewed coffee on my keyboard this morning reading this! Too funny!

For the members of our corner who don't get this, here are two references that will clue you in: http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=843819 and http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=852202.

(On a side note, love the new avatar, beautiful!)

Glad we don't have that level of board drama in our corner of ECCIE. One of the reasons I was happy to step down years ago as an Austin mod. Too much drama there.

Respectfully,

OldSarge

I laughed too. No way in hell I would even jump in a thread like that. Them folks are NUTS!...... or maybe screwed or bolted.

Buckskin · 10-03-2013, 06:47 PM

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

Guest042015 · 10-03-2013, 08:28 PM

@ Buckskin- pretty funny....

One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said "Yes." "OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.