Quote:
Originally Posted by discreetgent
While it does not make you a bad person it could still be argued that you did a bad thing.
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Or the lesser of two evils. It depends on what side of the mountain you're standing on.
From where the wife stands, of course he did an awful thing.
Lets put the scenarios of a man married to a house wife. He can't get the marriage to work, he's physically and emotionally unsatisfied. Sure you can get a divorce - but she's not going to have the same living standards anymore, likely to be just as emotionally devastated, the kids won't have the financial comfort they're used to, it's hard to support two households. So... they choose the afffair.
Often enough, what keeps the man in the house is the kids, because he feels that the personality of his wife has become so poisoned, that she'll have a terrible effect on their emotional development. So they stay in a marriage with a woman that makes them miserable, just so that the kids have someone to step in at home.
The responsible thing to do, isn't always to let your soul curl up and die in the name of being faithful, or tear lives apart though a divorce. I don't think it's selfish to try and find way to make life feel like it's worth living. Sometimes you seek a personal route that tries to leave as much intact for other people as possible. It's often not a case of someone being self absorbed and obsessed with their own desires, but being in a situation where they cannot detach themselves.
A side thought: I've known women who cheated and never got caught. Their boyfriend/husband does so, and she finds out, she still puts the guy through hell, acting righteous, knowing deep down inside what horrible hypocrites they are. Then you have the countless Companions who claim to enjoy the company and intimacy of their gentlemen, but expect their SO to stay faithful while they refuse to retire and look for mainstream work. As they go gallivant about the country with other men, he's to sit home and do what? Knit? A massive double standard, I don't care if you call it "work". I see nothing wrong with it if he's happy with her choices and being faithful to her, but generally, I think it's not very kind to the man.
), and I *try* to be nice to others (but if you go under the speed limit you DO test my patience [hey buddy that pedal on the right makes the car go!] ). Again thoughtful thread no matter where it wandered. I'll start the sugarbaby thread later. Wanna go make love to the wife! 
