BP whores, listen up...

[Wakeup]

Thanks man. I do what I can.

[Samcro84]

You really think they will read this thread. Not sure how many read the rules in welcome section.

Sam

[TryWeakly]

Originally Posted by Samcro84

You really think they will read this thread. Not sure how many can actually read.

Sam

FTFY

[TryWeakly]

OH.. I forgot to thank Wakeup for stating what pretty much everyone else has been wanting to say, except they cant find their balls .... so thank you Wakeup



(Me thincks I just threw up a little)

[Wakeup]

Whores love them some Wakeup...

[Kickrocks]

Now that's funny!

[SneakyCancer]

Entertaining for sure

[Guest020719]

Originally Posted by TryWeakly

OH.. I forgot to thank Wakeup for stating what pretty much everyone else has been wanting to say, except they cant find their balls .... so thank you Wakeup



(Me thincks I just threw up a little)

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Whores love them some Wakeup...

heh

[TryWeakly]

Sorry this "message" is better not left for dead......

[DexterDubs]

Tell the Korean ones to lay off the kimchi for a few days before seeing you, and you'll be golden.

I'm dying

[Wakeup]

Know you don't like me cause
Your bitch most likely does
She see me on them dubs
In front of every club

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

...we get it. The arrest of the CEO of Backpage last month has all of your pimps running scared, worried about sex trafficking charges, and you're looking for new places to advertise. We get that you're desperate for a new source of income, and you're looking for other avenues that set your pimp minds at ease. The differences between Backpage and here are pretty minor.

The tricks here are just as fucking dumb, they're just as cheap, and they're just as easy to fleece, the only difference is that they call themselves "hobbyists" instead of johns. Their mistake. The cops are here, just as they are on Backpage, watching what is happening. The only difference is that people here think they aren't. Their mistake. The whores here are just as jealous as the streetwalkers you're familiar with. In some ways, even more so, because here they're hiding behind a keyboard and your pimp doesn't get the opportunity to cut the bitch that disrespects his whores.

The biggest difference between here and Backpage is that here...people respond to your dumbass comments, rates, ads, and threADs, and they don't do that on Backpage. That being said, there are some guidelines you may want to polish up on when you decide to get involved here, to help minimize the backlash you get for looking like a fucking moron when your pimps post for you.


1. Tell your pimps to learn to speak English. There's more than a couple idiots here who use the word "bruh" in their posts, but they're the minority...in posting, and in life. Don't cater to them if you want to earn any money.

2. Learn to give up the free pussy to the moderators, and the free anal to the admins. That'll help grease the wheels as far as getting you verified, as a whore, and as being of age. Unless you're butt fucking ugly, fat, or too much of a hoodrat...then you might have some trouble...or maybe not...there's always Pistolero and The2Dogs...

3. Ignore the massive amount of Mexican whores here. They'll advertise themselves as Cuban, Honduran, Spanish, and anything else, but they're all Mexicans who just got trafficked across the border and are in the same shit as you are. You'll learn nothing from them.

4. Don't see a guy by the name of "the cute papi" when he contacts you in your welcome post. On second thought, you can give him the bareback, tape recorded session he wants, as long as you pass along a long lasting present when you do. So, skip that weekly trip to the clinic and dive right in girls.

5. If you've been walking the track for any length of time, then you're probably somewhat thin. On second thought, your pimps can only afford the value listings at Jack In The Box, so maybe you are fat as fuck. If you are fat, you're shit out of luck here. The majority of the hookers here are already fat, and since they've been here longer than you, they've already found all of the fat, insecure hobbyists on the board that want to fuck them. That leaves none for you. Sorry.

6a. If you're black, be sure to have your pimp list you as "Mixed" on the race tab. There's almost as many ghetto hoodrat whores here as there are in the Palace Inns you frequent. I say almost, because the ones that are, list themselves as Mixed, to try and convince us white guys to fuck them, instead of the "bruhs" around here. We all know that your pimps don't like other black guys hanging around, because all black guys are just pimp wannabes. That's still as true here as it is on the track, so stick to listing as Mixed, and trying to fuck the white guys. Not me, of course.

6b. Since you're black, please tell your pimp to list "No AA allowed" or "I have an NBA policy" in your ad. I love seeing the black guys lose their damn minds over it. Since I'm doing all this work to help educate you and your pimps, please help me out by giving me some entertainment.

7. Stop using the whole "���� Brand NEW to ECCIE & Excited to Join ��Im a Breathtaking Gorgeous Whore Fantasy ������" emoji laden, super secret code word "seven13 two6five 1onetwo5" bullshit posts, and the "nothing in this post is to be taken as an offer of prostitution, and any contact with me enters you into a contract that confirms you are not law enforcement" bullshit. First, none of that shit works. Second, the goal here is to not look like all the other fat, black, Mexican, or illiterate whores that we already have here, so get rid of that shit. Three, none of that shit works.

8. Your starting rate should be a minimum of $250 per hour. That's mainly because it'll eliminate all the undesirable Mexican and black guys, and leave you with the Caucasians and Asians. Everyone knows the white guys are where the money is at, and everyone else knows that the Asians are the easiest ones to fleece because of their tiny dicks and premature ejaculations. Tell the Korean ones to lay off the kimchi for a few days before seeing you, and you'll be golden.

9. DON'T TAKE A SELFIE WITH A TOILET IN THE BACKGROUND, when you post your ad. On Backpage it's a sign of prosperity, that your pimp can afford a place with running water that hasn't been turned off this month, but here, no one is interested in your floating turds. There's enough Brown, Champagne induced turds floating around here for us all. Trust us.

10. Have a nice day.


This has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood welcoming committee...and none of it applies to me, of course.

The #1 most Racist post On Eccie and it's allowed to stay up! Amazing!

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by Still Looking

The #1 most Racist post On Eccie and it's allowed to stay up! Amazing!

You're from Austin, right?

[Samcro84]

I like #9 the best.

Sam

[The Infamous One]

I actually find quite a bit of this twistedly entertaining albeit very racist and generalized, which I do not agree with. If I ever want to know the truth without any sugar coated bullshit, I know who to pm! You and Whispers are who I will go to when I want a non bullshit opinion and different point of view.