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CajunBred · 11-16-2010, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

Oh....so, non-providers are for strings attached. I gotcha. Ya pay (in some form or fashion) to be with one type of woman for the strings attached, and pay for providers to not have those strings. Makes sense.

Yes, I suppose. Non-providers are generally there for more "long-term" physical and mental needs. Granted, probably more true at my age than the average hobbyist. And believe it or not, many women my age love to pay for their share of things. Today's generation of women in their twenties love to demonstrate their financial independence. And again, so yes, strings attached relationships can be much cheaper than no strings with a provider at times. But I love providers! You provide excellent service and I've had some great memories. It's just that I don't think of "love" when I reflect on those memories,.which is what I thought this thread was about.

MaxiMilyen · 11-16-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CajunBred

Yes, I suppose. Non-providers are generally there for more "long-term" physical and mental needs. Granted, probably more true at my age than the average hobbyist. And believe it or not, many women my age love to pay for their share of things. Today's generation of women in their twenties love to demonstrate their financial independence. And again, so yes, strings attached relationships can be much cheaper than no strings with a provider at times. But I love providers! You provide excellent service and I've had some great memories. It's just that I don't think of "love" when I reflect on those memories,.which is what I thought this thread was about.

It is. I just wanted some points clarified. I'm easily confused...LOL Yes, I think providers are great as well. Some of the most loving, understanding and sensual individuals I've ever met.

Happy Hobbying, sweets and BOL in your real world relationships!!!

CajunBred · 11-16-2010, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

It is. I just wanted some points clarified. I'm easily confused...LOL Yes, I think providers are great as well. Some of the most loving, understanding and sensual individuals I've ever met.

Happy Hobbying, sweets and BOL in your real world relationships!!!

I understand completely. Thank you, and best of luck to you as well. Take care Max.

69er · 11-16-2010, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dannie

Oh you negative Nellies need to cut it out.

Has anyone ever fallen for a woman? We (providers) are not any different than civvie women except for the fact that we are more open minded. You mean to tell me that a civvie lady won't hurt you? They are any less problematic than providers? Really? Then why is the hobby even here if civvie women are so wonderful? Give me a break.

Bad shit can happen in ANY relationship, hobby or otherwise. Do what you would do with any other woman. Be cautious. There are good people and bad people in every walk of life.

I agree with what Dannie is expressing. Providers, Clients... there are good, and not so good.

I've fallen for a provider. Funny thing was that she was the first to utter those 3 little words. When she did, I knew I was headed that direction, but not quite ready yet. She understood. About a month later I uttered them to her, and we had a discussion. She stopped taking my money, and the relationship moved from client / provider to boyfriend / girlfriend.

We dated for several months. The relationship didn't work out, but that doesn't seem much different than the majority of "normal" relationships. I still think the world of her, and will always love her.

Guest061111 · 11-16-2010, 10:47 PM

I fell hard for a client, but it was after we were friends for a long time. He was my stabilizing force for years, and he never assisted me financially. Sometimes, things just happen, and you enjoy them while they last.

Int3rested · 11-16-2010, 11:05 PM

Falling for the dollar...one provider to another...

jac01 · 11-18-2010, 11:06 AM

This thread really hits home with me. I've fallen in love with a provider, and right now I have to say that this really sucks. The emotions and heartache that this has caused me, I wouldn't wish on anyone. I certainly didn't start hobbying with a goal of meeting someone that would cause me to develop such powerful feelings and to care so much for her well being while also causing me to re-examine what I want in life. We have developed a chemistry over these past few months that I have never experienced with any other provider, no one else has been even close. I've not told her how strongly I feel about her, but she knows that I'd do anything for her.

I've tried seeing other ladies with the hope that doing so would help decrease the intensity of my feelings. A few weeks ago, I saw one of the other ladies from her agency and my ATF's name came up during our conversation. This lady then asked me very sweetly, "Do you love her?" This caught me off guard, and before I could give an answer, she read my eyes and remarked, "You do!" My reply was "So, it's that obvious?" This made me realize that my little experiment with seeing other ladies only reaffirmed my feelings for her. I was kidding myself to think otherwise.

I'm still torn on whether I tell her that I am in love with her or keep it to myself and try to get over her. My head of course tells me I would be crazy to throw away everything that I have by proclaiming my love for her. But the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm constantly thinking about her, and when I do I get that wonderful heart fluttering feeling that I only have for women that I have fallen in love with. No matter what the end result of all of this is, part of me will probably always love her. I realize that I have already given her a piece of my heart, whether she realizes it or not.

pmdelites · 11-18-2010, 11:15 AM

jac01, just based on what you've written, unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE that she has similar feelings for you and would gladly build a relationship with you, DO NOT TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER!!!! period, end of sentence, end of paragraph, end of letter!!!

you might, repeat, might see how she feels about you, if she has any inclination to join you on a life path, but let her put that out first. did her agency friend say anything to you about the woman's feelings about you?

i say that because if you tell her, the probability of her having the same feelings that you do are very low [based on the providers i've met in the last 10+ yrs].

and dont do this especially if you are in a relationship right now, be it boyfriend/girlfriends, engaged, married.

i think you should step back many steps, look at this from afar and rethink what it is you want and why you are here.

best to you and hope some clarity comes your way.

jac01 · 11-18-2010, 11:25 AM

I know you are right. Telling the truth will most likely only cause pain. That's why I said that this really sucks, and I hate that I was weak enough to allow it to happen.

MaxiMilyen · 11-18-2010, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jac01

I know you are right. Telling the truth will most likely only cause pain. That's why I said that this really sucks, and I hate that I was weak enough to allow it to happen.

Since when is human emotion a sign of weakness? Be grateful you can feel and have met someone who touches you so. Feel blessed that you are capable of such emotions. Spend time with her when you can and go on with your life when you can't. If nothing ever comes of it, at the very least it gives you something even greater to look forward to than a romp in the sack with a sexy lady.

Try to keep things in perspective, though. You or she would never want the responsibility and heavy feelings that come with knowing you had a direct impact on someone else's misery due to the relationship ending because of indiscretions. I know from experience that this would be even harder to bare than knowing you couldn't be with the one you loved. It still weighs heavy on me and the relationship that budded from that love affair has been over for 10+ years. If I only knew then what I know now...

bigbobftworth · 11-18-2010, 11:55 AM

No one has ever fallen for me, well maybe CPI but he is such a tease.

Charlie_Harper · 11-18-2010, 11:56 AM

+1

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

Since when is human emotion a sign of weakness? Be grateful you can feel and have met someone who touches you so. Feel blessed that you are capable of such emotions. Spend time with her when you can and go on with your life when you can't. If nothing ever comes of it, at the very least it gives you something even greater to look forward to than a romp in the sack with a sexy lady.

Try to keep things in perspective, though. You or she would never want the responsibility and heavy feelings that come with knowing you had a direct impact on someone else's misery due to the relationship ending because of indiscretions. I know from experience that this would be even harder to bare than knowing you couldn't be with the one you loved. It still weighs heavy on me and the relationship that budded from that love affair has been over for 10+ years. If I only knew then what I know now...

Roman Polanski · 11-18-2010, 12:18 PM

I realized that the business relationship was over when she called me repeatedly to tell me she loved me and the exchange of money for service ended.

Charlie_Harper · 11-18-2010, 12:27 PM

There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.
Jean Anouilh

And boy howdy, does it ever suck sometimes.
Charlie Harper

White Tiger · 11-18-2010, 12:32 PM

I have a couple of what I would call "real life" friends who are providers from the hobby--i.e., I see them sometimes when no money changes hands, and no sexual encounter is involved, I know their real names, met some of their family, etc. But I never expect to have a boy-girl relationship in any kind of permanent sense. Having said all of that, I have "fallen" for quite a few of the providers I have met for an hour or two, and sometimes I think about them for days after. Those are the ones I go back to see, and it is from that small group that I have developed my very small group of "real life" friends.