When your provider ref is rude beyond words

[TemptationTammie]

I have heard of one provider that feels that her clients are hers and doesn't want to know of anyone else seeing them. And gets upset if she sees them flirting with or talking to other providers.
But this is a business and guys can see who they want, and when they want. If I'm asked for a reference I'm willing to give it, with no questions asked.
I know I like my variety in partners, why should I limit my clients' desire for variety by badmouthing them or being rude if I'm asked for a reference. But I've never been accused of being rude - but a couple close friends say I'm too nice.
I don't care what kind of a day the person is having, being rude is uncalled for.
Granted sometimes I may not be online for a day or 2 if I'm busy with family & don't have my hobby phone on or pay attention to email, but I will respond when I can. But I usually start my reply with an apology if it's been a couple days since they asked. I do check email frequently so that is the best way to get a reply quickly.

[Say What]

@ Kayleehotchick - In order to keep from inconveniencing the ladies I have seen I got P411. Do you find that P411 is an acceptable alternative to a list of ladies that can (politely / rudely / not at all) serve as a reference? I hate asking another provider to be a reference. They've been great - or so I think - about it in the past, but it must be inconvenient.

Great thread by the way. The opinions vary more than I thought they would.

[pfmtony]

Say What, same reason I got p411. Even with a good p411 rep some ladies still want to get a verbal or written reference. I dont blame them, safety first.

[cookie man]

Originally Posted by Dharma

Sometimes I'll get a negative response when a provider calls me for a referral. I tell them when I saw the client last and give her a brief description of him; physically and a little something about his personality. Not too much because he might be different with her. I don't understand why they get their panties in a twist over it. This takes less than 30 seconds but I've had a few providers who were extremely rude and said things like, "I can see for myself". "You're just mad that he's seeing ME". And "Sorry honey, you lose! " You can usually tell when a provider has had a bad day or if she has that bullshit "My Client" syndrome.

I don't usually tell a client because I believe that you don't tell people things that will only hurt them and serve no other purpose. But if she's really off the charts then I'll say something if the clients asks. I won't initiate that conversation unless she threatens me or something equally infantile. Most clients can get all the drama they want at home. We are supposed to be a comfort for them and tattling isn't in our job description.

I'd think that if it's as bad as you're alluding to, mention it to the client. The last thing they want is a provider with those personality traits and the clients personal information. Who knows when she'll go off on him.

Perfect!

[Kayleehotchick]

I LOVE p411. I would rather go that route anytime of the day. :-)

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

I LOVE p411. I would rather go that route anytime of the day. :-)

There's a reason P411 is always suggested to newbies when they ask "How do I get screened for a provider to see me?". It's easy and it works.

@Cookie Man~ Thank you