Karma

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

Honestly? NO.



Someone who DELIBERATELY and MALICIOUSLY causes hurt or pain or loss to others for their own personal pleasure.

I thought that was the defination of cheating on one's spouse!....minus DELIBERATELY and MALICIOUSLY. Though it would be hard to argue that you accidently cheated as opposed to DELIBERATELY.

I'm just saying. . .

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

Someone who DELIBERATELY and MALICIOUSLY causes hurt or pain or loss to others for their own personal pleasure.

Like WTF posted, should she find out, regardless of how I ended up with another woman, paid or not, I did do it on purpose and could be construed as malicious. It definitely is for my pleasure (and the woman I am with).

Or the Dennis Rodman defense: I didn't do it on purpose, I fell on top of her and my cock slipped inside of her warm throbbing flower that I had just eaten to multiple climaxes. Yes, your Honor, that's the truth.

I do find this thread thought provoking to say the least.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by SR Only

PS: Do I start a thread about paying a provider verses a "gift" to a sugarbaby?

Sugarbaby threads are always good if not groundbreaking. That said, go for it.

I think you should focus on the definition of a sugarbaby vs. a provider

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by SR Only

Like WTF posted, should she find out, regardless of how I ended up with another woman, paid or not, I did do it on purpose and could be construed as malicious. It definitely is for my pleasure (and the woman I am with).

Or the Dennis Rodman defense: I didn't do it on purpose, I fell on top of her and my cock slipped inside of her warm throbbing flower that I had just eaten to multiple climaxes. Yes, your Honor, that's the truth.

I do find this thread thought provoking to say the least.

I think there's a difference between a man who chooses to fulfill desires as privately as possible with a woman outside your life that in theory would never talk, and let's say, sleeping with you're wife's friend or the neighbors wife. I can't speak for every woman, but I'd be furious to learn someone had strayed within our social circle or network.

People have affairs with the intention of humiliating their partner and robbing them of self worth. Other people have affairs as far removed from their lives as possible, hoping to leave their partner in peace.To enough people, how and where said affair occurred wouldn't matter the slightest, so none of that will ease the hurt.

I don't think one can really judge such actions as good or bad. Seeking your own pleasure doesn't make you a bad person. Life and people are complicated, the world is not strictly composed of black and white, it's a million shades of grey.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

I don't think one can really judge such actions as good or bad. Seeking your own pleasure doesn't make you a bad person. Life and people are complicated, the world is not strictly composed of black and white, it's a million shades of grey.

While it does not make you a bad person it could still be argued that you did a bad thing.

[Camille]

Originally Posted by SR Only

So by cheating on my wife in this hobby, do I become de facto "a dick?" One could possibly make that leap. If on the day I have seen my sugarbaby, and I go to bed that night, how would I rectify that? I'm not necessarily looking to absolve myself, but it is an element of an aspect to seeing those who are not my wife.

I don't think that is the angle Bella is thinking of.
If your reasoning behind getting a sugarbay was simply to hurt your wife then yes...that makes you a prick. If you have a sugarbaby for other reasons BUT acknowledge that this could indeed hurt you wife you might still be a prick in the eyes of some, but your intentions were not malicious. Selfish perhaps, but not malicious. You accept that you hurt her, but it wasn't your primary motivator. Granted, some people won't actually care what your motivation was...because they don't see one as better or worse, they see a means to the same end and the "end" is what they look at. I personally would never forgive someone who had planned to hurt me (in any way) but I would at least be open to hearing someone out if it hurt was an effect rather than a cause.

If I have learned anything from watching my civvie friends and family deal with infidelity (both men and women) it's that the trust that needs repairing is not that you won't be unfaithful again...but that you won't hurt them again. Most people spend so much time trying to convince their SO that they won't stray again when what they should be showing their SO is that they would NEVER intentionally hurt them...because that is usually what the SO is questioning in my experience.

C

[Camille]

I have just noticed that there are an awful lot of naked women in here.
That must have something to do with PJ and DG?
I'll have to look for a boob shot....maybe.

C x

[Zoey Blake]

Originally Posted by SR Only

So by cheating on my wife in this hobby, do I become de facto "a dick?" One could possibly make that leap.

Many see the world in terms of black and white, right and wrong... to them, the answer would likely be "yes". After all, cheating is cheating is cheating, right?

I would argue that the truth of the world is made up of infinite shades of gray; in this case, stepping out on your wife is not necessarily the socially acceptable thing to do, but it could be much worse... you could be cheating on her with her best friend, or a family member, or someone equally close to your mutual lives. At least by engaging in this hobby, you satisfy your needs in a manner that lessons the likelihood of her becoming aware of it, and thereby being hurt by it.

As Camille stated, your choices may be selfish, but at least they are not malicious...

[Bella_HHD]

Originally Posted by WTF

I thought that was the defination of cheating on one's spouse!....minus DELIBERATELY and MALICIOUSLY. Though it would be hard to argue that you accidently cheated as opposed to DELIBERATELY.

I'm just saying. . .

Sigh ...

I was thinking more along the lines of people who molest children, torture animals and beat their grandparents ... you know, DELIBERATE AND MALICIOUS meanness.

I can't explain it, but I know what I mean.

Cheating is wrong, but it doesn't fall into the same category as the above, though I don't doubt we'll all face our own "payback" for it someday.



LOL

[Camille]

Originally Posted by Zoey Blake

As Camille stated, your choices may be selfish, but at least they are not malicious...

Yup and we all do selfish things at times. Anyone that says they don't is lying through their teefs

Look at it this way SR, if I got caught in some "unfortunate predicament" in this industry it could cause an emotional rollercoaster ride of emotions for my family from hurt, fear, disappointment, embarrasment etc. I am well aware of that. I am also aware that I am blessed enough to have siblings and a mother that would quickly see that those were not my primary motivators. If I ever thought that could be even a remote possibility I would never have entered this profession. Period. They would certainly ask me to step up and show that their belief as an affect and not a cause was justified...but I wouldn't have to beg them for that opportunity. I realize I am blessed in that way, and I do not take it for granted.

C x

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

Sigh ...

I was thinking more along the lines of people who molest children, torture animals and beat their grandparents ... you know, DELIBERATE AND MALICIOUS meanness.

Was the sigh ''DELIBERATE AND MALICIOUS meanness''? So you are really talking about Socipaths? Below is an article of intrest in that regard.

What I find intresting in this Karma discussion is how some considered 'Good' Karma and and other consider 'Bad' Karma the very same act. How can this be? Seems to me this would actually cancel out Karma's powers.

It does seem rationalization is far more important in our self worth than karma ever was.



http://www.youmeworks.com/sociopaths.html

WHEN YOU SAY THE WORD "sociopath" most people think of serial killers. But although many serial killers are sociopaths, there are far more sociopaths leading ordinary lives. Chances are you know a sociopath. I say "ordinary lives," but what they do is far from ordinary. Sociopaths are people without a conscience. They don't have the normal empathy the rest of us take for granted. They don't feel affection. They don't care about others. But most of them are good observers, and they have learned how to mimic feelings of affection and empathy remarkably well.

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

I think there's a difference between a man who chooses to fulfill desires as privately as possible with a woman outside your life that in theory would never talk, and let's say, sleeping with you're wife's friend or the neighbors wife.

. . .it's a million shades of grey.

That sounds like a rationalization. Of course you would/should feel that way. It is in your business interest for one thing. But as a side note, what are you doing if not making a judgement in this vastly shaded world of grey?

Originally Posted by discreetgent

While it does not make you a bad person it could still be argued that you did a bad thing.

Well said.

Originally Posted by Zoey Blake

As Camille stated, your choices may be selfish, but at least they are not malicious...

Does not the person who was cheated on get to decide just what is considered malicious?

Not wanting your spouse to find out one's infidelity. . . in my eyes is considered more selfish than actually trying not to be malicious. A bank robber is not malicious, he is selfish. If he is trying to feed his family is he then sympathetic?

Is falling in love with your wife's sister malicious? Would someone do that on purpose?

[Guest083011]

The intent is I guess what defines the "dickiness." Is that a word, probably not. Okay I'm not absolved but I'm not a dick either.

Follow ups:
Has the difference between a sugarbaby and a courtesan/provider been discussed on aspd "forever" and I haven't been around enough or should I indeed start that thread?

Camille, YGM about my emails coming up as spam.

[Marcus Aurelius]

I dabbled into the sugar daddy thing awhile back. I was as surprised how much I was wrong about my preconceptions vs reality as I was about this hobby when I first started.

[Bella_HHD]

Originally Posted by SR Only

The intent is I guess what defines the "dickiness." Is that a word, probably not. Okay I'm not absolved but I'm not a dick either.

[ ... ]

I knew there were gonna be issues w/that choice of words.

Okay for clarification, my answer was to THIS:

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

Do you believe in it? If you do, what does it really mean to you.

Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

Edited to use a better descriptor

I don't believe in Karma per se, but I DO have a great belief in the "Three Fold Law" - Any energy you send out, shall return to you three-fold.

If you're a malicious person and you act with deliberate malice and you do malicious things and surround yourself with malicious people, eventually it WILL come back to get you. It may not be visible to those around you, but you'll know it.

[ ... ]

I believe in the reverse as well. If you get up every morning and do your level best to be good to others without expect anything in return that you will be "rewarded"; NOT monetarily necessarily, but with a full, good and happy life.

If you can go to bed at night secure in the knowledge that you haven't hurt anyone for pleasure or gain or on purpose; if you've done things for others without thought of "evensies", just for the personal pleasure of seeing them happy, you will be "rewarded".

FTR, the OP didn't seem to be referring to the hobby and my answer wasn't referencing those who participate in the hobby

B.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by Camille

I have just noticed that there are an awful lot of naked women in here.
That must have something to do with PJ and DG?
I'll have to look for a boob shot....maybe.

C x

We try.