What's the deal with ladies in Coed?

[greymouse]

Originally Posted by kittyloveratx

...here-in lies the problem with the internet...as part of the electronic "ME" era the ability to empathize, to put us in the other persons shoes is diminishing. Empathetic feelings are less when reading a written word than when talking to someone where you can see facial expressions and hear tonal inflections. As more and more people spend less time interacting one-on-one the "Me" or "narcissistic" era is growing.

I agree that is an insightful observation, I would add at least two additional elements:
1) In cyberspace it is not possible to get a bloody nose from "going too far" unlike the real world bar room symposiums message group "debates" frequently resemble. People are somewhat restrained in face to face situations by the low but not zero probability that the person you offend might literally call you out to the parking lot. And who knows what he might have in his waistband? This is a consequences-free arena here, at least for men, so why not go for baroque?
2) The other factor is that for most men the most important thing in life, bar absolutely nothing, is appearing manly to himself in front of the male peer group. Most males, starting at about age 8-9, are consumed with behaving "manly", as judged by their same sex, same age peer group. A pre-teen knows nothing about what "masculine" might be except that it isn't "feminine" and so define themselves over against the mysterious and somewhat threatening Other.

Some men grow up to develop a little more sophisticated view. Others just get taller. That seems to be where the Blue Team's locally hyperactive attack pack gets its members.

As to why ladies are reluctant to post anything that is not insubstantial flirting, that, seems a bit obvious: this is a business and as a service provider in a very, very competitive sector who is willing to risk alienating a potential customer? He might be an uncouth lout but he might have money and might chose not to spend it on someone whose opinions or tastes he doesn't agree with as manifested in a Coed thread. Why take the chance and get a lot of grief from the Attack Packers?

I realized as I read his post that KittyloverATX was probably also right that some of the most vitriolic of the Bros Before you know what posters are probably having their anger reinforced by the economic processes that are dividing this country into the Rich ten percenters and the Non-Rich Majority. The latter, where most Customer Guys, myself certainly included, and all of the ladies are located has had static or declining real incomes for decades. When the boy geniuses of Wall Street blew up the world economy just before the last election things got a lot worse for a lot of people very quickly. The Hobby is my only source of what makes life worth living. Possibly that is true of others, married or not. My own personal financial situation got better this year vs last year. If it had gotten worse I imagine I would be feeling pretty frustrated or depressed. Many people prefer to externalize negative feelings like that as anger. Directing that anger against women in the business makes no sense but anger is an emotion not a decision and, in any case, a very large percentage of men are chronically angry at women anyway, in and out of the Hobby, so it is not surprising to see some of that anger focused on any woman who puts her head up above the trench line in our cyber battle field with anything but a deeply discounted "special". The ladies can't be blamed for being reluctant to draw fire by expressing an opinion.

It might be true that the most angry of the Blue Team snipers don't have much money to spend anyway but a woman who must pay the bills every month might reasonably decide not to take the chance of losing a paying session. The Guys in question mostly don't like to talk to women anyway so it might not be so bad and the money spends the same.

[ThrillBill88]

I just spent 45 minutes reading this thread from beginning to end, and two thoughts have occurred to me: 1) I have a Master's Degree from UT, and I have no idea what "mysogynistic" or "mysogyny" means. Can I get a refund? 2) Wicked Heather has a really hot avatar. Is that really you?

[Mature Companion]

Excellent post.

Originally Posted by greymouse

I agree that is an insightful observation, I would add at least two additional elements:
1) In cyberspace it is not possible to get a bloody nose from "going too far" unlike the real world bar room symposiums message group "debates" frequently resemble. People are somewhat restrained in face to face situations by the low but not zero probability that the person you offend might literally call you out to the parking lot. And who knows what he might have in his waistband? This is a consequences-free arena here, at least for men, so why not go for baroque?
2) The other factor is that for most men the most important thing in life, bar absolutely nothing, is appearing manly to himself in front of the male peer group. Most males, starting at about age 8-9, are consumed with behaving "manly", as judged by their same sex, same age peer group. A pre-teen knows nothing about what "masculine" might be except that it isn't "feminine" and so define themselves over against the mysterious and somewhat threatening Other.

Some men grow up to develop a little more sophisticated view. Others just get taller. That seems to be where the Blue Team's locally hyperactive attack pack gets its members.

As to why ladies are reluctant to post anything that is not insubstantial flirting, that, seems a bit obvious: this is a business and as a service provider in a very, very competitive sector who is willing to risk alienating a potential customer? He might be an uncouth lout but he might have money and might chose not to spend it on someone whose opinions or tastes he doesn't agree with as manifested in a Coed thread. Why take the chance and get a lot of grief from the Attack Packers?

I realized as I read his post that KittyloverATX was probably also right that some of the most vitriolic of the Bros Before you know what posters are probably having their anger reinforced by the economic processes that are dividing this country into the Rich ten percenters and the Non-Rich Majority. The latter, where most Customer Guys, myself certainly included, and all of the ladies are located has had static or declining real incomes for decades. When the boy geniuses of Wall Street blew up the world economy just before the last election things got a lot worse for a lot of people very quickly. The Hobby is my only source of what makes life worth living. Possibly that is true of others, married or not. My own personal financial situation got better this year vs last year. If it had gotten worse I imagine I would be feeling pretty frustrated or depressed. Many people prefer to externalize negative feelings like that as anger. Directing that anger against women in the business makes no sense but anger is an emotion not a decision and, in any case, a very large percentage of men are chronically angry at women anyway, in and out of the Hobby, so it is not surprising to see some of that anger focused on any woman who puts her head up above the trench line in our cyber battle field with anything but a deeply discounted "special". The ladies can't be blamed for being reluctant to draw fire by expressing an opinion.

It might be true that the most angry of the Blue Team snipers don't have much money to spend anyway but a woman who must pay the bills every month might reasonably decide not to take the chance of losing a paying session. The Guys in question mostly don't like to talk to women anyway so it might not be so bad and the money spends the same.

[Francisca]

I am on my phone....

Greymouse, well said.

ThrillBill, get a refund dude.

Casey, I have been misinterpreted...
I came to this country at the age of 18 and my English vocabulary did not consist of words such as misogynistic. Shoot, I was having a hard time with "consist".
I do not & never have or will have the attitude that anyone is inferior to me, much less because of their vocabulary. I find that comment disrespectful but I do apologize if I do portray such attitude.

I prefer sexist, easier to spell.

I have had a secret crush on Sophia for 3 yrs.... I really don't have a chance now.....
I cannot play favorites....
Sophia said " the lack of thoughtful contribution on the part of the ladies can be attributed..."
does that not mean they lack thoughtful contribution????? Same as, they lack intelligent contribution? Or, the lack of intelligent contribution?
Cosmo..... I learned how to give a bj from cosmo & I am told I am one of the best...... maybe more providers need to read cosmo.
No bs, cosmo is very informative.
Misogynistic and it's difficulty.... That is an opinion.

I heard a hobbyist make a comment to a provider a few weeks ago at the social...
The conversation was about Whispers and his opinions. She was surprised he seemed to be friends with Whisper... He replied "I can have an intelligent debate with a friend and remain friends"
I think this is an advantage men have over woman & another reason men rather women not post. We get way too emotional when we dis agree. Just a thought I had.


"The lack of thoughtful contribution on the part of ladies"

[smokeswithwolves]

Originally Posted by ThrillBill88

1) I have a Master's Degree from UT, and I have no idea what "mysogynistic" or "mysogyny" means. Can I get a refund?

Jesus Mexican Christ, I would. Unless the MA was in math or engineering, in which case you're good.

Dozens of posts centered around a word that I'm pretty sure was in the 10th grade SAT curriculum I used to teach.

And I'm going with greymouse on this one: you don't shit where you eat. And brainy women (ESPECIALLY opinionated ones) are a turn off for a LOT of men out there.

Which reminds me...I just ran across an old thread I need to resurrect...

[knotty man]

to me the use of "big words" is on par with the use of hobby acronyms. if it intrests me i go look it up! who of us knew what bbbjcimnqns meant when we started in the hobby. but we sure as hell looked it up as quick as we could and commited it to our hobby "bible". if a civie were to see that anacroym he might think some mysognistic fucktard had a seizure while trying to spell his fuckin name. simply put, if i have enough intrest to read this post then i think i would have enough intrest to go look the word up. i mean ,hell! im already on the computer!

[Booth]

Originally Posted by Francisca

I am on my phone....


I have had a secret crush on Sophia for 3 yrs.... I really don't have a chance now.....
I cannot play favorites....
Sophia said " the lack of thoughtful contribution on the part of the ladies can be attributed..."
does that not mean they lack thoughtful contribution????? Same as, they lack intelligent contribution? Or, the lack of intelligent contribution?

I don't want to speak for Sophia but I think I see what the problem is. You are all hung on on the use of the words "thoughtful contribution" when she was using them to answer the OP's first question. If you substitute the word "post" for "thoughtful contribution" I think you'll be able to get past this. A thoughtful contribution is a post. Not every post is a thoughtful contribution but that's another story. I hope that helps!

Thoughtfully contributed by
Booth

[sixxbach]

Originally Posted by TaylorMaiden29

I have found that the angry male posters that spew venom toward opinionated ladies have a deep seated jealousy of the hobbiests' that can afford to hobby whereas they (the angry males posters) cannot (proven by the ongoing bitch about rates in other threads). But yet, they are still on the board because they need to feel close to hot women and this board is their only bet because membership is free and cost of bcd is minimal. Still, they are angry that they are too pathetic to score outside the hobby and too broke to hobby. Not speaking for all of the angry posters, just a pattern of behavior I have noticed over my hobby career. Others are angry because they are really gay. And the rest- inexplicable (probably early childhood baggage of which therapy was also out of the budget).

Now, the reason that I still love the board and the gentlemen is because the gentlemen that can afford to hobby tend to be sexy, energetic, educated, and usually attached to beautiful trophy women but still enjoy variety and value discretion, meaning they are more than capable of scoring outside the hobby but choose not to risk having an affair when relationships with no strings attached is so available and affordable.

Thank you to those men who do hobby and also to those that don't hobby (for whatever reason) but who still make the boards worth reading.

I think if you take a look at least recently of those who "spew venom", those gents are spending money. They may be choosing to spend their money in other venues like the street scene, strip clubs, out of town ladies, etc. Those same gents also review. I don't have a jealousy of anyone who can afford to hobby more than I can. It's great that one can afford to spend 2k a month, etc. I am just fine with spending what I do now. I also think some put value what they will spend. For example, I dropped 350 bucks on two Lady Gaga tickets. I will also probably drop another 200 the night of the show for someone who will probably only perform for an hour and a half tops. So I will spend about 550 on two hours of entertainment but its what I value. I would not spend that on sexual services. Not all hobbyists are MSOG (including me). It's not always what one can afford, its what they are willing to spend on a certain thing whether its a service, event, or sexual act.

I find it funny that its okay for a provider who wants to save on an incall or raise her rates to make more money but its frowned upon if a hobbyist wants to save a few dollars with provider specials or try other venues like a SC and get more mileage for the amount spent. I also think what is being left out that some of the "angry posters" have dealt with shitty TCB, NCNS, etc (not saying you). That also has to play some role for some "angry posters".

Originally Posted by greymouse

Some men grow up to develop a little more sophisticated view. Others just get taller. That seems to be where the Blue Team's locally hyperactive attack pack gets its members.

It might be true that the most angry of the Blue Team snipers don't have much money to spend anyway but a woman who must pay the bills every month might reasonably decide not to take the chance of losing a paying session. The Guys in question mostly don't like to talk to women anyway so it might not be so bad and the money spends the same.

I'm not getting taller, fatter perhaps.... well I started last week working out at the gym... hopefully I will be reversing that soon enough. Oh yeah, I love talking to women!

Originally Posted by Francisca

I learned how to give a bj from cosmo & I am told I am one of the best......

I think this is an advantage men have over woman & another reason men rather women not post. We get way too emotional when we dis agree. Just a thought I had.

You were told you were one of the best? I would love to find out.....
I have met some ladies from here non BCD and can disagree with them and still not be angry at them. I know it goes both ways too. Things would be dull if everyone agreed with everyone

[Miss Sophie Bella]

Originally Posted by Francisca

I have had a secret crush on Sophia for 3 yrs.... I really don't have a chance now.....
I cannot play favorites....
Sophia said " the lack of thoughtful contribution on the part of the ladies can be attributed..."
does that not mean they lack thoughtful contribution????? Same as, they lack intelligent contribution? Or, the lack of intelligent contribution?
Cosmo..... I learned how to give a bj from cosmo & I am told I am one of the best...... maybe more providers need to read cosmo.
No bs, cosmo is very informative.
Misogynistic and it's difficulty.... That is an opinion.

I heard a hobbyist make a comment to a provider a few weeks ago at the social...
The conversation was about Whispers and his opinions. She was surprised he seemed to be friends with Whisper... He replied "I can have an intelligent debate with a friend and remain friends"
I think this is an advantage men have over woman & another reason men rather women not post.

I'm not trying to be overtly picky, but I am Sophie. Sophia is someone else entirely. It's fortunate for me that she's stunningly beautiful, intelligent and usually posts things I agree with because our names are often used interchangeably. I just wanted to clarify so that she isn't unfairly drawn into any sort of controversy.

Having said that, my original post wasn't intended to stir the pot. I simply believe that making assumptions about another individual's knowledge, level of education or intelligence is a very bad idea and is a principal reason ladies are reluctant to voice opinions in this forum. Setting the bar low to accommodate those who we assume wouldn't know a certain word used or understand a particular concept is patronizing at best.

Why do I think providers post less? Because dissenting views and critical opinions can have very different consequences for hobbyists than they do for providers. It isn't always the case, and it definitely doesn't have to be, but there's fear for many women that any small comment they make might be dissected and analyzed and that it will affect their business. It makes many very choosy about how and what they are willing to post here and certainly creates an unlevel playing field in our discussions.

Case in point: I used the wording "lack of thoughtful contribution" in reference to CK's original post. I wasn't suggesting that there isn't any thoughtful commentary provided by ladies here. I was trying to say that the quantity would increase if there were a more hospitable environment for lively banter without fear of being attacked. I've been quoted and requoted out of context. I just wanted to be completely clear about my original intention.

Originally Posted by smokeswithwolves

Jesus Mexican Christ, I would. Unless the MA was in math or engineering, in which case you're good.

Dozens of posts centered around a word that I'm pretty sure was in the 10th grade SAT curriculum I used to teach.

And I'm going with greymouse on this one: you don't shit where you eat. And brainy women (ESPECIALLY opinionated ones) are a turn off for a LOT of men out there.

Which reminds me...I just ran across an old thread I need to resurrect...

I once had a boyfriend who told me it was really a turnoff for him when I made his friends laugh. You can guess how long he lasted after a comment like that. Yes, there's men out there who are so intimidated by a woman with intellectual power that they see it as a negative attribute. But for every man afraid of a thinking woman, there's another to fill his place who adores challenging conversation, new ideas and an inventive mind, especially when it is wrapped up in a feminine package. For the gentleman unafraid of a woman who is his equal, welcome. You guys ought to post more too.

If anyone still doesn't know what misogyny means, please look it up. Include "hegemony", "patriarchy", "standpoint epistemology", "essentialism" and "l'ecriture feminine" if you really like to party. Knowledge is power.

[Mature Companion]

Excellent post, Sophie.

Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

I simply believe that making assumptions about another individual's knowledge, level of education or intelligence is a very bad idea and is a principal reason ladies are reluctant to voice opinions in this forum. Setting the bar low to accommodate those who we assume wouldn't know a certain word used or understand a particular concept is patronizing at best.

Why do I think providers post less? Because dissenting views and critical opinions can have very different consequences for hobbyists than they do for providers. It isn't always the case, and it definitely doesn't have to be, but there's fear for many women that any small comment they make might be dissected and analyzed and that it will affect their business. It makes many very choosy about how and what they are willing to post here and certainly creates an unlevel playing field in our discussions.

Yes, there's men out there who are so intimidated by a woman with intellectual power that they see it as a negative attribute. But for every man afraid of a thinking woman, there's another to fill his place who adores challenging conversation, new ideas and an inventive mind, especially when it is wrapped up in a feminine package. (AMEN!!)
For the gentleman unafraid of a woman who is his equal, welcome. You guys ought to post more too.

[Guest110724]

Succinctly
Succ= suck
Inctly= incorrectly

Suck Incorrectly means a lady with horrible bj skills.

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."

[enigma878]

Beauty and brains is a powerful combination. i like to have my mind stimulated as well as my body.

[ANONONE]

Originally Posted by ThrillBill88

I have a Master's Degree from UT, and I have no idea what "mysogynistic" or "mysogyny" means.

Huh. . .

I knew what that word meant and I have a GED.



Yes, I am being facetious.

Although I can't resist saying, you must be the pride of the Longhorns, for what it is worth.




All kidding aside and speaking of irony, have you noticed that for some gents there is no happy equilibrium in posting style?

I mean if the lady's post is full of typos and silliness, they will get cut down for being uneducated and told they should stick to posting ads. If the lady proves to be intelligent and clever with prose, the same guys will then rub their forehead and talk about how the big words give them a headache and go on and on with a bitter beer rant about how the women of this board should stick to being sexy for the menfolk.

And you wonder why they charge us so much to fuck them?

[runswithscissors]

[quote=

Having said that, my original post wasn't intended to stir the pot. I simply believe that making assumptions about another individual's knowledge, level of education or intelligence is a very bad idea and is a principal reason ladies are reluctant to voice opinions in this forum. Setting the bar low to accommodate those who we assume wouldn't know a certain word used or understand a particular concept is patronizing at best.

Why do I think providers post less? Because dissenting views and critical opinions can have very different consequences for hobbyists than they do for providers. It isn't always the case, and it definitely doesn't have to be, but there's fear for many women that any small comment they make might be dissected and analyzed and that it will affect their business. It makes many very choosy about how and what they are willing to post here and certainly creates an unlevel playing field in our discussions.






I once had a boyfriend who told me it was really a turnoff for him when I made his friends laugh. You can guess how long he lasted after a comment like that. Yes, there's men out there who are so intimidated by a woman with intellectual power that they see it as a negative attribute. But for every man afraid of a thinking woman, there's another to fill his place who adores challenging conversation, new ideas and an inventive mind, especially when it is wrapped up in a feminine package. For the gentleman unafraid of a woman who is his equal, welcome. You guys ought to post more too.

If anyone still doesn't know what misogyny means, please look it up. Include "hegemony", "patriarchy", "standpoint epistemology", "essentialism" and "l'ecriture feminine" if you really like to party. Knowledge is power.[/quote]


Thank you, Sophie Bella; I post threads and comments frequently in the National Forums; with great success; comments from the ladies and gentlemen range from the humorous to the serious to the thought provoking.

My point is , ladies and gentlemen post. In Co-ed here in Austin, I have attempted to draw more ladies into the discussions just to hear from the local ladies their likes and dislikes on various subjects; ie: music you listen to in your car; favorite foods; alternative sex, etc. My point of some threads is to draw the ladies out and hopfully some of the gentlemen will see their answers and think " hey, she likes the same music I do", or the Greenbelt is her favorite hiking spot, or she may help me explore my fetish I am too shy to post in public.

This is a board for everyone; the more positive posting from both the ladies and the gentlemen will outway the more negative ones.

[Carl]

Originally Posted by ThrillBill88

I just spent 45 minutes reading this thread from beginning to end, and two thoughts have occurred to me: 1) I have a Master's Degree from UT, and I have no idea what "mysogynistic" or "mysogyny" means. Can I get a refund? 2) Wicked Heather has a really hot avatar. Is that really you?

Well, dealing with your second point, first: Wicked Heather hasn't posted in this thread; Sweet Heather and Wicked Milf have. There seems to be some confusion.


As to your first point, while it's possible that UT owes you a refund, I think it's also possible that they covered the term "misogyny" in graduate school and you missed that day. Or it's possible that UT needs to have their accreditation revisited by the appropriate regulatory organizations and oversight bodies.