Whats not so great about Carl?

[Ebony Jasmine Love Austin]

oh yeah i forgot..... YOUR LEFT TITS AND YOUR RIGHT BALL ARE THE SIZE OF BOTH OF MY TITS COMBINED.

Huh! ........and they say asymmetrical people make better lovers. WHATEVER!

[Takeshi Miike]

Carl, you don't have to rub in the Greek passport thing

[Carl]

Originally Posted by cockforhire

Carl, what hast thou done to warrant such abuse?

I asked a psychic and she told me that in a past life I invented the whoopee cushion.

[Carl]

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Huh! ........and they say asymmetrical people make better lovers. WHATEVER!

That must be why fun house mirrors make me horny.

[Carl]

Originally Posted by Takeshi Miike

Carl, you don't have to rub in the Greek passport thing

I have to rub it in, unless she has an asshole the size of a doughnut.

[Gump42]

Originally Posted by Carl

I banged my teacher real good and she promoted me. Of course, I was already 19. It really was time for me to move on to junior high.

Originally Posted by knotty man

sad thing is.....werent you "home schooled".

Now I don't know who's the biggest stud on this board. The fact that Jay makes women orgasm so intensely they shit on him, is pretty damn impressive. However, tagging dear old mom is an equally impressive feat!

[Carl]

Why is everybody so sure that mom did the home schooling and not dad? What? Men aren't smart enough to be teachers? I'm sick of all the male-bashing on this site! Bunch of sexist pigs!

[GneissGuy]

What I hate is how he spends his evenings. Covers himself head to toe with axle grease, wears nothing but swim fins, a hula skirt, a coconut shell bra, and a Darth Vader mask. Hides in doorways, alleys, etc. on Sixth Street. When tourists walk by, he jumps out of the shadows, blasts them with a compressed air horn, and yells, "Welcome to Austin. Would you care for some dental floss?"

When my 85 year old Aunt Berta visited Austin last year, he did this while I was showing her around downtown Austin. Unfortunately, Bertha's a bit kinky, and she disappeared with Carl for the rest of the week she was here. I only got to see her for the time it took me to drive her from the Airport to downtown, and then I had to rush her back to catch her flight at the last minute. She's my favorite aunt, and I hadn't seen her in 20 years. Also, I was never able to get the smell of axle grease out of that car.

[Guest031411-2]

@GneissGuy's post...as Larry the Cable Guy says, I don't care who you are, that there was funny!

[Carl]

Originally Posted by GneissGuy

What I hate is how he spends his evenings. Covers himself head to toe with axle grease, wears nothing but swim fins, a hula skirt, a coconut shell bra, and a Darth Vader mask. Hides in doorways, alleys, etc. on Sixth Street. When tourists walk by, he jumps out of the shadows, blasts them with a compressed air horn, and yells, "Welcome to Austin. Would you care for some dental floss?"

When my 85 year old Aunt Berta visited Austin last year, he did this while I was showing her around downtown Austin. Unfortunately, Bertha's a bit kinky, and she disappeared with Carl for the rest of the week she was here. I only got to see her for the time it took me to drive her from the Airport to downtown, and then I had to rush her back to catch her flight at the last minute. She's my favorite aunt, and I hadn't seen her in 20 years. Also, I was never able to get the smell of axle grease out of that car.

But you know for a fact that she was telling the absolute freaking truth, when she told the folks back home that she spent her trip visiting "a sick friend." Very sick, indeed.

[GneissGuy]

Originally Posted by Carl

But you know for a fact that she was telling the absolute freaking truth, when she told the folks back home that she spent her trip visiting "a sick friend." Very sick, indeed.

Well, they knew that already when she said she was visiting me.

Be sure and check out Carl's web page.

[Carl]

Originally Posted by GneissGuy

Be sure and check out Carl's web page.

I'd just like to add that I'm available for children's parties.

Just as long as the children are female, over 18 and working their way through college as strippers.

[Liketobelicked]

Carl is cool. Right bonzer then, Carl! (insert deeeeeep Darth Vader voice here....) "Impressive, young skirtchase...." err, that's to say, um, (insert deeeeeep Darth Vader voice here....take 2) "Impressive, young Skywalker!" Carl caught that I used a billy (made up) word. Microphallisitic could be a real word as it is a derivation of Microphallic, as to describe something that has a relationship to, and is in a causal relationship by, for and/or with a microphallis, but his point is well taken and he is right - I extrapolated from the real word and billyed that one up - turns down on me mate.

As far as chorizoito goes it is a real word, I simply can't spell it. I can't spell in any of the languages I speak (or in many of these, try to speak would be a fairer assessment); English (either the Aussie or Seppo versions), Spanish, Latin, French, Ngaanyatjarra OR Pig Latin. But spelled correctly, as Carl did and I buggered about on, it is a word in Spanish correlating roughly to microphallic in English.

Much more importantly, I was just giving Carl a fair ramping in good fun in the first place. The way he has handled this thread shows him to be a first class bloke with a fair dinkum sense of humour who would never go beyond the dark stump and sling bush oysters in polite company. His sense of good humour with this thread shows him to be a gentleman and not one of those self absorbed FIGJAMs. Good on you mate for putting up with drongas such as myself who have to treat a fair bonzer bloke like you to come the raw prawn. You must admit though, it is a bit of fun!

If we ever meet I will have to drop a buck to sling a few ambers with you (I prefer Foster's, but I will poke up for whatever you are drinking) and we can yabber about the ace Sheilas that Austin seems to have a unique preponderance, and abundance, of. Think on it mate - in the hobby in Austin, have you ever seen a lady that is less than spectacular? Strewth....they are a beautiful bunch of bobby stunner dazzlers! And talented. Jamming, ivory rising talented. Uniquely talented. And how about stunningly beautiful, eh? - brighter than a flutter on a flat for certain; no worries. Smart, beautiful and bodacious - what more could a cobber ask for? Oh, hold hard mate - did I mention that they are talented? We could rattle on through a peck of Fosters and never get tired of talking about them. And what could make a better rattler at the pub? We have it fair on solid here in Austin !

I know Carl knows this, and Carl is a dinkum bloke - I am sorry if I actually got your collar ripped and insulted you; it was all in good fun. At any rate Carl, I will drop a good on you here. I am sure you are a great fellow that has enough class to take a teasing and keep on ticking. Hang in there mate,

Cheers,
LTBL

(By the way, I would be happy to translate the previous post from the archeologically newly discovered original and ancient Australian bloke dialect to American English if anyone cares to request it - I just posted it in this Australian for the fun of it. (Fair dinkum, eh? )., This language was newly discovered on the walls of a large cave with some other interesting artifacts also in the cave. There were some ancient objects with the word "Foster's" engraved on them, some things that seemed to be long and cylindrically shaped, soft, moist and were designed to be tight yet flexible for some reason, some cushions and other items to rest on, and some sheer black artifacts that were leg shaped and very smooth and silky, as well as some cave paintings that seem to be a representation of people no doubt engaged in wrestling or some other sporting activity; what else could it possibly have been except sport?)

Hmmmmm..... it's a mystery.....an archeological, hobbying, sensual, erotic, sexy sort of mysterious type mystery.....

[Carl]

No worries, LTBL. I'll drink just about sort of malt beverage from ambers to stouts.

Though, I don't drink much of the IPAs. Too hoppy, not malty enough for my tastes.

I took no offense at the language, just trying to keep things accurate. For instance, a friend of mine is Filipino and he got into an argument with a guy that called him a dirty Mexican. I had to step in and correct him and he said, "Filipino, Mexican, what's the difference?" I said, "How about being on opposite sides of the Pacific, tortillas and the Japanese never invaded Mexico." If people are gonna swap insults, let's not sound ignorant as we do it. Let's show our schoolteachers we really were paying attention to our lessons.


Cleverness counts!

[Joel Goodson]

jump the shark


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