Funny Stuff & Jokes

[Guest070916]

[generalbob]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

now wnykittenkisser a test
but any one can take it

lets say you have a SO
you two do not want to bare fruit and multiply
she hears a TIC TIC TIC deep in her mind
so stops taking THE PILL
you do not know this
one day she says we have a bun in the oven honey
if you or its some other guys,
you are the one with and taking to her right now
she is really pissed off being with... and not wanting to be so. but will keep and love it if he or a she
Who's fault is it ?

extra points
if its his or yours
she now and talking to that other guys hehehehe guys by intent (that cheating bitch)

Who's fault is it ?

test was done she know who for sure its yours and its you she loves and will stay with
she with and talking to one of the other many's she cheated with

Who's fault is it ?

hint:
I am a man______
he is a man______
he is a man_______

dang she is bi and never told ya(dang that could have been fun)
she is with her female lover

she knows its yours



the hint _____kind, errr fucking men

btw: one more hint
I know this gay women, this butch bitch can turn a straight all day and night gal bi or gay in a heart beat. Even if homophobic.
No way in hell am I her type if she went bi
I never had sex with her and she knows it
She telling me she pregnant and trying to tell me a how
as i did ask like a dumb fuck

Who's fault is it ? per her

mine and all mankind

If hypothetical man was as logical as we are assuming him to be, he would have disconnected pipeline to sperm bank long before cheating bitch could stop taking pill. Otherwise deserves to suffer for not making preemptive strike.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by generalbob

If hypothetical man was as logical as we are assuming him to be, he would have disconnected pipeline to sperm bank long before cheating bitch could stop taking pill. Otherwise deserves to suffer for not making preemptive strike.

shhhhhhhhhhh that was after she found him White Knighting on eccie
so she did the snip for him herself och

[generalbob]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

shhhhhhhhhhh that was after she found him White Knighting on eccie
so she did the snip for him herself och

Sorry...completely misunderstood question and just guessed at answer...kinda like I did all through hi skoul

[Guest070916]

Ahhhh...those were the days....

[wnykittenkisser]

So the wife is reading me this article in the Sunday paper about the benefits of spinach. They say it helps with cell reproduction contains ample amounts of vitamin A,C,D and folic acid. It also says it helps make hormones. So i told her you must be eating four or five portions a day. The doctors told me that the swelling in my eyes should go down enough for me regain sight in about two to three weeks.

[wnykittenkisser]

A lady goes into a drug store and inquires the pharmacist do you sell Viagra? He says yes , she then asks does it work? Again he says yes very well. She then asks can you get it across the counter? To which he reply's if I take two.

[wnykittenkisser]

What do you call a happy Roman?






















GladHeAteHer

[Guest070916]

[wnykittenkisser]

Negativity
This is something to think about when negative people

Are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …


A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..



She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"



"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"



" Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"



"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."



"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."



"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."



"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."



A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.


"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"



"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."



"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."



"Oh, really! What'd he say?"




He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

[generalbob]

Originally Posted by wnykittenkisser

Negativity
This is something to think about when negative people

Are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …


A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..



She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"



"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"



" Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"



"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."



"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."



"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."



"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."



A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.


"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"



"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."



"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."



"Oh, really! What'd he say?"




He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

The only way to save a long rambling joke is with a great short punchline. Good joke!

[wnykittenkisser]

Thanks Bob

[wnykittenkisser]

The reason cavemen drag their women by the hair is because if the drag them by their feet they fill up with rocks.

[Guest070916]

[Guest070916]

It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!.....
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT.
A WARNING TO US ALL!

Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and yet printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well, I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dish washing Soap. Its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."