Sugar daddies?

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Gabriella Golden

But the fact is that there are too many providers/clients watering down this industry with unprofessionalism. Trying to blur the lines of business gets us where we are now. I run a tight ship, with that being said if a girl can establish a relationship with a sugardaddy that benefits him and her then go for, but I have yet to see one that didn't eventually evolve into the guy trying to steal more time without paying or one of them becoming a stalker/problem.

That is true. The most SD relationships who truly work are also some sort of love relationships. That is how it worked for me. Why would anyone have the motivations to spend money for your career if he does not sincerely like me? The ex bf SD i had gave me a monthly agreed upon payment and vacation money extra.

[London Rayne]

Don't you just love when a woman speaks her mind how all the overly sensitive types come out of the wood work screaming, "You don't like what you do" lol. Fact is, Gabriella in short was simply saying, being a provider IS what she finds more beneficial to both guys and gals. She is saying that there is no gray area, and everyone gets what they want out of the arrangement without one feeling taken advantage of. So even though she did use the phrase "get in, get off, and get out," I don't think she was referring to a quick 10 min. romp where she ushers them out the door.

She was merely implying that the guy pays his fee and gets what he wants without all the bs baggage that comes with being in a SD type relationship. I guess the guys missed she was in a way on THEIR side by saying don't waste your time with a SB because odds are both parties will be taken advantage of eventually. If I fell in deep love with a man, I would no longer be taking his money. So for me, that would never work. When I went to college the first time, I had no financial assistance other than loans and my parents. I could not imagine screwing a guy who used the words "father figure" to describe our arrangement...that's a tad creepy!

Bottom line is some people are cut out for those relationships, and others aren't. Having a SD is just like having an actual mate that you have to cater to in more ways than just the physical one. I prefer it this way, as I have no desire to blur that line between the hobby and my personal life. I prefer not forming deep, loving, relationships in the hobby because when I leave this behind, I don't want those thoughts lingering around in there. Most men I see are married and have no desire for me to fall for them, nor them for me. Friendships....yes I hope to form, but that's where I draw the line.

[Jackie S]

Well said, London.

[jceeman]

I really appreciate all the info from you, nina.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

You demand respect from a professional whose services you most likely seek in secrecy?

Well, sex in public is not very cool and sex for money in the absence of permission from the government is, sadly, illegal. BUT it seems to me that an advantage of the SD/SB arrangement *is* that it's not a secrecy/prostitution kind of thing.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Or how many professional escorts do you invite over to your mothers on the weekend?

How many professional excorts would *go* if they weren't paid?

Originally Posted by ninasastri

So , in reality, clients offer disgrace on various reasons.

All clients oif escorts *are in disgrace* by the mere fact of their not having a willing partner who will have sex with them without their having to pay.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

And i know what i am talking about since i am one of the rare happenings in this business who is not a hypocrite -i do not live a life with double standards. In my life close friends and family know what i am doing sometimes on the side. It was a tough road getting there. Most clients wives do not know what they are doing.

Good for you nina!

Originally Posted by ninasastri

So - disrespectful? Well, why are you paying? For secrecy i assume.

See abiove. If men had women who loved them and would willingly hve sex with them on demand - or just give them a blowjob! - there would not be so much business for escorts. Have you never talked with your clients about this? Is this really news to you?

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Why is the majority of clients (if not all) married? Would they defend an escort in front of their wives? No? Most of them even degrade them even more.

Again, you are clearly intelligent enough to figure this out, right? Guys get married b/c they're in love and all that and somewhere along the line, usually after the kids come along, their partner is not interested in their husband sexually. In fact, wives often make their husbands feel guilty about wanting sex, and the nice guys really don't want to beg or feel as if they're always imposing themselves. Our culture has made sex into a dirty thing. The wife wants to eat out? Fine. She gets it. The guy wants sex? Oh, that's not an acceptable appetite. Enter the escort, thank goodness for the guy who can at least enjoy a fantasy for a little while.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Would they help an escort or rather save their own asses if they are encountered by LE? Ha? No?

I would suppose not, given the above dynamics.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Friendships in this business always have some sort of bitter aftertaste.

A heckuva lot of human relationships are the same way. There is not much love in the world. And what there is too often is transient.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

The reason why i charge money for what i do and not give it away for free like a regular GF is because no one of the people who seek my services can meet my standards of what i aspire in a BF. WHich means legitimacy, and non secrecy and a holistic relationship.

I think the "legitimacy" word is worth exploring more. But what I am gettig here is that, really, very few if any guys measure up to your standards. And I agree that that is no reason to lower your standards.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I charge because people only want PART of me. Same like a psychotherapist charges. You don`t go in psychotherapy because you demand a real relationship w ith mutual consent. But you want all the attention to yourself without having to do plenty. ANd such a thing is a service. And part of that service considered is SECRECY.

Secrecy? Or confidentiality? The sort of confidentiality that comes from respect and a sense of responsibility not to embarrass/hurt someone else. I keep a lot of confidences I am not paid to keep out of a sense of responsibility.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Be political! Advertise for sexworkers rights, run around tell your friends you see them and why. Then come back.

Good advice. But I do notice that when something in the alerts section points to some news story about cops "cracking down" and so on that, when comments are present, there are almost always comments saying that the laws against prostitution should be abolished.

Who *are* the people who want so badly to stop prostitution anyway? (I guess I will start another thread on that subject!)

[China Doll]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

i agree. but maturity comes with a level. The level of maturity a 24 year old one can handle differs from the level of maturity a 35 year old one can handle. So , referring to the myth of the "oh so mature 21 year old" it all depends on who you compare yourself to. If a 24 year old one tries to compare herself to me, a 35 year old one, then i am sorry. There is NO WAY EVER she can be possibly more mature mentally than me. It has a reason why old married men search young lovers. BEcause young women do not have the maturity to make a distinct decision PLUS they are easy to influence and handle, and have yet to learn the lessons, we at our age have already learned. If the same guys would make the same propositions to me, they would get me pointing a finger on my forehead at my best, and a cats verbal scratch at my worst :-).And old guy can sell a young woman any garbage any day - and she believes it. And - university education does not equal maturity. I have encountered taxi drivers who are more "mature" than some same aged "Harvard and Yale Offsprings".
As Timothy Leary once said: "You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind".

I am not convinced that you have the ability to categorize every single female who exists within the younger age bracket. I believe that individuals are individuals. No matter what evidence you have to support your generalizations, they will still be generalizations.

[London Rayne]

Agreed China. It depends how one was raised and who and what contributed to their insight, that will determine maturity. Living a life void of experiences at any age will not equate into a mature individual. Add to that, today's younger generation is partaking in things that I would have never done at 18-20, and you have a clear gap. My parents have not nearly experienced or been through half the things I have, and therefore cannot testify to those levels of knowledge by actually going through.

They also lacked the advantages of education and technology that we have today, so that fact alone suggests that the next generation will always be exposed to newer and better ways of doing things.

Just by the mere posting ability of some of the 50-60 crowd, it is more than evident that age has nothing to do with maturity or intellect lmao.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by China Doll

I am not convinced that you have the ability to categorize every single female who exists within the younger age bracket. I believe that individuals are individuals. No matter what evidence you have to support your generalizations, they will still be generalizations.

agree!

[China Doll]

Thanks, ladies! I'm glad someone understands my point of view.

On the topic of this thread, I had a sugar daddy for a while. People in this forum tend to have some pretty negative views of this kind of relationship, but I enjoyed it!

I don't think that whether or not a relationship is still continued to this day is a good indicator of how good it was when it existed. In case you're wondering why things ended, it was his insistence that even though he was respecting my rules for the time being, the condom would eventually have to go. [shakes head]

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by jceeman

See abiove. If men had women who loved them and would willingly hve sex with them on demand - or just give them a blowjob! - there would not be so much business for escorts. Have you never talked with your clients about this? Is this really news to you?



Again, you are clearly intelligent enough to figure this out, right? Guys get married b/c they're in love and all that and somewhere along the line, usually after the kids come along, their partner is not interested in their husband sexually. In fact, wives often make their husbands feel guilty about wanting sex, and the nice guys really don't want to beg or feel as if they're always imposing themselves. Our culture has made sex into a dirty thing. The wife wants to eat out? Fine. She gets it. The guy wants sex? Oh, that's not an acceptable appetite. Enter the escort, thank goodness for the guy who can at least enjoy a fantasy for a little while.
)

where does the above mentioned differ from what i wrote? I don`t understand. Married guys need to cheat because their women do not offer them sex and they are too financially concerned /and or codependent to consider divorce or find someone who truly loves them. The excuse that people lie or cheat because it is hurtful to hear the truth is also a hypocrisy since its not hurtful for married guys to drag secret lovers along. What is hurtful is their responsibility they are not willing to take . So they pay escorts - SECRETLY! ANd that is why escorts charge - TO BE A SECRET and not for sex. And sugarbabies differ in that area because they are more like secret lovers just paid ones. I was in an open relationship with mine so that does nto count, everyone knew about me. But i also was within the demands of a secret lovership with a married guy, so i clearly know the difference.

I have a few clients who have become close friends and i join them for free anytime anywhere. If they do not demand my services , that is. So also dinner table on sundays :-) No problem.

oh and there is something heavenly invented that is called the divorce. so the esxcuse of having to stay in an unsatisfactory relationship, except for your own masochistic codependencies, and then calling it "i don`t want to hurt someone" (well most likely not your own pleasure zone i assume?), is childish and immature.
At least have the decency to call it how it is. And recruiting escorts to fulfill unsatisified needs is at least better than to drag around secret lovers, like many do.

Oh and just for clarification: I do love marriages. I want more of them. They work very well for me :-)). If there were no marriages then i would not have any source of income , i assume ;-(

And being an escort is nothing illegal. Who sells sex for money here? I certainly don`t :-)

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by China Doll

I am not convinced that you have the ability to categorize every single female who exists within the younger age bracket. I believe that individuals are individuals. No matter what evidence you have to support your generalizations, they will still be generalizations.

sure they will. But so will the claim of "maturity" be in general. And when some 21 year old claims to be so "mature" than i wonder - in regards to what and whom? That was my point. I come across the escort world frequently reading statements from 21 year old providers that they are so much more mature and smarter than the rest of all providers and i wonder how they come to such conclusions. I am a provider since i am 18 years old, now i am 35. so - hm - did my maturity level change? Or are you trying to tell me that there are 21 year old providers out there who are more mature than me? If so, i want to know in what area? And how it is judged? Maturity is an interesting concept. Regarding the amount of Johns or experiences a provider had, or the amount of smoke clients blow up a providers butt ? So what is maturity in providers?
I mean if you compare a 21 year old crack whore with a 35 year old crack whore then the 35 year old still is more mature?
Writing such statements in general classifies as immature for me. And since 21 year old ones do so, well, its their right to be immature, isn`t it? Anyone who is a little more educated and philosophically challenged might wonder anyway about such an inflated sense of self. That is if someone takes it serious. Others might just claim that a provider who has to label himself as mature might be very immature in doing so.

The next is 21 year old claiming they are all natural and have not had Botox and stuff. Hell yeah, i mean go figure :-)).

[jceeman]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

oh and there is something heavenly invented that is called the divorce. so the esxcuse of having to stay in an unsatisfactory relationship, except for your own masochistic codependencies, and then calling it "i don`t want to hurt someone" (well most likely not your own pleasure zone i assume?), is childish and immature.

I do see your POV, Nina. *I do.* But there are guys who stay in a loveless/sexless marriage for many reasons besides being "childish and immature." For example:

1) They may have residual (and substantial) feelings for their wives, some of whom may not be total bitches but suffering from a medical condition. I think if there were a med that effectively treated low libido in women that it would really reduce divorce.
2) They may see that divorce will leave them impoverished and then unable even to hire an escort.
3) They may see that their relationship with and even the well-being of their kids will suffer - divorce does this all the time.

Again, I think culture is to blame to a large degree also. It's really not reasonable to expect people to "live in the truth" when the costs inposed by society for doing so are so very great. I mean, yes, I admire people like the late Solzhenitsyn who endured terrible conditions in the old Soviet gulags and (unaccountably) lived to write that "one word of truth outweighs the whole world." But few of us are Solzhenitsyn.

Maybe if there were no escorts then more guys would "man up" and get out of a loveless/sexless marriage.

[Naomi4u]

Like China said Individuals are Individuals.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by jceeman

Maybe if there were no escorts then more guys would "man up" and get out of a loveless/sexless marriage.

I agree 100%

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by jceeman

I think the "legitimacy" word is worth exploring more. But what I am gettig here is that, really, very few if any guys measure up to your standards. And I agree that that is no reason to lower your standards.

no its plain and simple: be officially recognised as girlfriend (on top of falling in love of course), meet friends and family and make vacations together. All of these things fail if the guy is married and wants secrecy. There for payment. I don`t let ever anyone pay for sex. Why would i? I get paid for confidentiality. As you stated.

Originally Posted by jceeman

Who *are* the people who want so badly to stop prostitution anyway? (I guess I will start another thread on that subject!)

Mormons? haha. watch " 8 - the mormon proposition"

[guest010313]

Originally Posted by Jackie S

Silly Girl, I can ask you this. How can a Teenager possibly have the skills to make a Woman feel as good as a older Man who has had a lifetime to hone his skills.??

Of course, the older Man still has to be capable, and he has to really appreciate what a great Lady has to offer. But there are a few of us out there.

Um, I think you misread what I wrote. The sex was terrible because he was over 60 and had the skills of a teenager. Which means....none. Specifically the thing that made me get out of bed and go home at midnight was the scratching. He had short nails and still managed to scratch me inside (repeatedly! after I said something!) which is unfuckingacceptable lol.