Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannah Heresy
Reading things like this from y'all has pretty much insured that I will never be able to be in a "civie" relationship ever again. Guys are just too tricky to trust with my heart. I would have fell for this traffic school thing hook line and sinker.
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You are taking the wrong things away from this then. A more valid perspective would be the realization that the reason a lotta guys do this is because they are trapped in loveless, sexless marriages. TWO people are responsible for that.
There are alternatives. The guys could just all get out of their marriages. Do you think that is necessarily a "better" outcome for all the women involved? Or they could do what a lot of the women will do - instead opting for a quick and meaningless encounter to meet their physical needs they could opt for a messy office romance. Do you think that is a "better" outcome?
I am not saying one is OK and another is not. But the problem is the siatuation is in fact very complex, but you are applying a simple stereotype of men being a bunch of untrustworthy horndogs. And that simplified stereotype is no longer even particularly valid. It may still apply to some in your age group - basically still boys. But we are talking about mostly mature men here, and the possibly inconvenient truth is that if these men were in happier, healthier relationships the vast majority of them would be content in those relationships.
Think it is tough being a woman? Men are relatively straightforward. Step back for a minute and try to look objectively at a generalization that is widely also true about what men try to deal with in terms of women. "As soon as they get what they want, they don't want it anymore." A lot of women will just admit it. You see even more that will confirm it indirectly as a basic truth. I have often heard women talk about men where they are sympathetic to the man's situation in terms like "He's going to do all that for her, and then she is not going to be happy like he thinks, she will just move on the next thing on her list..." Relatively speaking men, and what they want and need are really pretty damn easy.
The bottom line is there is way too much heartache in the world and plenty of blame to go around. The only thing you'll get form this way of thinking is if you think men are a bunch of untrustworthy horndogs you will get the gratification of always meeting the right men to where to will always manage to be "right".
A more worthwhile approach would be to think about how maintain a happy healthy relationship instead. The men are the easy part of that equation. Maybe you should think about how do you keep *yourself* happy in a relationship. Because if you think what you have learned here makes it hard to have a relationship, I will tell you this is nothing. If you think finding the right man will keep you happy in a relationship, if and when you meet that man, the man who gives you what you want, when (not if but when) that relationship is over or maybe not over but not happy anymore, that's when you will know some things that really make it hard to have a future relationship.
