Screening issues.

[texasmarine]

Go get a green dot thingy. I don't even know what that is, I've never gotten one. Give it to her and make your appt. Do you see that title Superprovider under her name? She wears that title very well.

If you're nervous walking into a woman's place for the first time, imagine what all these ladies are feeling by letting a strange male walk in for the first time. Everybody here has something to protect, whether it's your "real" life or your "very" life.

Just play safe, only give out the information you're comfortable with and only see the ladies you're comfortable with. Every man and woman on this site has their own rules...we just need to respect them.
TM

[BigPurdy]

Hmmm. Will a Green Dot get us additional privileges Traci? Maybe I should get me one of those.

[Blubba]

Bill, there you have it. Quit yer whinin' and go get a green dot. Traci's tits are awesome! Although I doubt she will ever see me. But I'm not going to whine about it.

[TexasDave555]

You are not alone Traci, many providers run into the same thing. I'll tell you how I handle it as a client though...

I will ask if I can use someone as a reference. If I find out they did not respond to a request for that reference later after telling me they would, I will no longer see them. Since when I do hobby (been out for a year or two), I tend to frequent a small number of regulars I expect them to provide that reference in a timely fashion if requested. I've only had that happen twice... but each time I sent them a note explaining why I wouldn't see them again and would no longer recommend them on threads, ISO's etc.

Safety is important, but so is the tit for tat that goes on. We see you, if you treat us well and make us happy we will tell others how good you are to us. That should translate into extending that courtesy to us when we go to see someone else. If that mutual benefit does not continue, then there is no reason to see or recommend them to others either.

You'll also run into jealousy of clients too... some providers think that if they dont provide references the guy is more likely to come back to see them. I never understood that once.. but it happens.

I'd recommend you tell the gent who is not responding to the reference request, have him deal with it in his own way and maybe suggest he see someone who WILL respond then try to book with you afterward. I know I would not hold that against a provider if it was put to me that way... and would see her after we got things squared away at a later date.

I'd never give employment or personal information and I would never put cash out in advance either.... especially since this was the first time seeing you. Just been around the block long enough not to trust anyone in that matter without her earning it first.

[guest061212-1]

Just like you can't get references, we cannot get calls or emails returned to get laid. Can you believe it?

Some of you are diligent about your emails and calls and we thank you. But now you get a hint of what some of us guys ponder over lunch together. "How can they bitch about it being slow when they don't return calls and emails?"

The girls who play along and realize that we are not theirs usually get rewarded by the gents in some fashion. The ones that do not answer reference requests don't get the private recommendations from us, either.

It's not rocket science. It is not even bottle rocket science. Yet, some how fucktards and hooktards manage to foul up a pretty good system.... and then it makes for fodder for the board.

[SofaKingFun]

Originally Posted by tracibrooks

So, my question to the ladies and the gents (yes, you too guys), is what do you recommend? Are there screening techniques you have thought of? Do you offer another alternative that I might find useful? I could really use the help here. It seems that ladies are getting more competitive lately, and less willing to help their fellow provider stay safe (and thank you very very much to the ladies who still care!). I would really love to hear as many alternatives as may have been considered. I hate leaving these poor gents waiting, and I'd love to be able to offer some more alternatives....

Traci, here's my recommendation.
Don't see the guys who are gonna' act like dickholes.

TahDahh!

Problem solved.

I don't think there's a way to reinvent the wheel here, sweetpea. Even if you were armed with all of the information that you could possibly gather about someone, there's no telling when someone is going to snap, and if they do, all of the references, and all of the information that you have is pretty much useless.

Granted, the references help establish a trend of a person's past behavior and aids in a 'best guess' as to how they'll likely behave during your meeting, but having a person's employment information is only going to deter the ones who probably weren't going to anything sketchy, anyway. All it's going to do with regard to those guys who actually did snap, or do something sketchy, is tell you where the psycho works.

If you think about that a little deeper, if this guy is going to do something sketchy or if he tries to bring you harm....if he's going to stoop to those levels, *knowing* that you are already armed with his personal and employment information, do you honestly think that he cares or that it even matters to him what info you have or what you intend to do with it?

The cold, harsh, reality of it is that screening crazy is just as difficult as screening elle but if either want someone bad enough, they'll find a way to slip through. This is a dangerous gig and there's no fool-proof way to screen someone with absolute certainty. I wish I had a better answer for you, but all I could come up with is simply avoid the guys who are going to act like dickholes.


Regards,
SKF


{{{{{not-so-subliminal message}}}}

Traci....San Antonio beckons you...

{end of not-so-subliminal message}

Heh!

.

.

[69er]

Traci,

Let me tell you a true story, about why the gents around here are careful with personal information.

I was seeing a lady regularly for over a year. She was moving on with her life, after having updated her skills with some college courses, and seemed from my discussions with her, that she wouldn't be around much longer.

One day I noticed her website disappear, and her ads go away. I figured I'd never hear from her again... Oh I wish that had been true.

I got a text about a week later from a new number threatening to "out" me if I did not pay 10K. I'm not going to go into details here, but luckily I was able to quickly put together info I knew about her, and play a little game of, if you put my info out there, I'll put yours out there.

The truth is, that many ladies have little to lose, and more than one have decided to burn their bridges on the way out. You don't have to be around here long to see ladies who have been around a while, that one day decide to extort someone, or even hold them up at gunpoint. Yes, a well known lady on this very board, WK'ed by some well known guys here, and loved by many, decided to hold a guy up at gunpoint on her way out of the hobby.

So, most of us are not willing to risk that, as there are ladies willing to see us that don't require that info.

I understand your problem... now you understand the gents issue. Wish I had a great answer for you, but today a guy with multiple OK's at P411 is the best I have to offer.

[Blubba]

Traci seems like a fine upstanding member of the community, but.... I also sure as hell will never give out my personal information to anyone, including her. For the same reason why she wouldn't give out her personal information to a fine upstanding member of the community such as myself

However, if you read her responses above, it seems that cash can fix this problem. Amazing how many problems can be fixed with a timely injection of cash, don't you think? is our friend... Now if someone can report back whether this approach actually works, that would be good. PM is fine.

[SASpurs]

Originally Posted by The Proper Stranger

My thought would be a short little notes box (say, 100-200 characters max, to cut down on the ability to rant or rave) that a provider could make notes for a guy along with an OK. Only editable for a short time after the OK (to cut down the chances of hurt feelings if he finds a new ATF later or something). Only the notes alongside the latest OK counting, maybe with the option to update the current notes she's left or just leave 'em as is when updating an OK (to remove the ability to filibuster with a dozen OKs, while leaving the option to change things if the client's behavior changes on later appointments). I'm iffy on whether or not it should be viewable by the client, but I'd lean more towards making it optional, either with a selectable option when submitting, or a little note saying the provider can email it to the client if she wants to share. Don't know how viable or useful that might be, though, and I'm sure more thought could probably elevate the idea above this short blurb if it does get implemented.

I guess I always just assumed providers had their own "Private" review area for us that we couldn't see. If there isn't one, there should be. Or at least a chance to validate/verify our reviews. We end a review with a "Yes" or a "No". Why shouldn't they have the same ability to comment?

...and I'm still not completely sure on what provides can and can't read from reviews(private/otherwise)..

In the end, if you don't feel 100% safe, walk away. There will be someone else out there...

[Blubba]

Originally Posted by SASpurs

Or at least a chance to validate/verify our reviews. We end a review with a "Yes" or a "No". Why shouldn't they have the same ability to comment?

They can always protest in coed.

So do you think that restaurant critics should include the ability for a restaurant to comment at the end of a review? Perhaps if the food was awful, we could let them come up with some excuses or perhaps say that the critic was lying? Sounds like a great idea.

[AdventureAdams]

Originally Posted by Duke of G

One key point about references: Gentlemen should let the girl being referenced know that they should expect a call from the lady doing screening. Just like a job reference, it's a courtesy that should be extended so that the lady being asked "hey have you met so-and-so?" is not blindsided.

This also may increase the likelihood of getting a response, as the initial contact is from a client.

It ALSO means that gentlemen can verify the fact that the lady is willing to actually BE a reference, which (in theory) improves the quality of the reference.

I find that this helps me out as well, to ask them to notify the ladies they are using as reference ahead of time so they can anticipate my contact and will be able to easily recall that person.