The Black Guy's Guide to effective hobbying

[EmilyHemingway]

Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

Now, I'll ask the question that no one will answer, if a hobbiest has a preference for spinners or blondes or BBW's and that hobbiest does not deviate from his personal preference, does that mean he discriminates? Why then does an NBA policy mean discrimination?

Depends. For this to be a valid comparison, the hypothetical ad needs to read, "Only accepting appointments from white males between the ages of 25-39, a little spare body fat acceptable. Please email full body and face pics for final appointment approval."

This is not reasonable, because providers don't make appointments based on their physical attraction to a guy. Appearance is almost a moot point. Chemistry is always a huge bonus on both sides, but oftentimes we don't find out whether that exists until the appointment has already begun - it is rarely a requirement, and women are, as a general rule, not nearly the visual creatures men are anyway. Our chemistry is usually mental, though I'm chary of making sweeping absolute statements for all women so this does vary.

OTOH, there are any number of restrictions ladies place in ads, as we've all seen. No young guys (rough, too demanding, attitude problems). No seniors (erectile dysfunction, uncomfortable with men old enough to be their grandfather, might have a heart attack). No black guys (variety of reasons that I've heard). My opinion is: Whatever floats their boat, but it's bad business policy. But their loss is my gain. More young guys, seniors and black men for me.

My business policy is, if you're clean, on time and respectful, let the madcap hilarity ensue. If you're an asstwat, go bug someone else.

[Guest021710-3]

Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

I have to ask everyone who believes that NBA providers are discriminating, why does an NBA policy automatically make a provider a racist? Now, I'll ask the question that no one will answer, if a hobbiest has a preference for spinners or blondes or BBW's and that hobbiest does not deviate from his personal preference, does that mean he discriminates? Why then does an NBA policy mean discrimination?

Calling someone a racist to win an argument doesn't work, it's antagonistic and judgemental. I could tell you I'm not a racist, but would you believe me if I didn't vote for our current prez? My own mother thinks I'm a racist because I didn't. She also thinks I'm a sexist because I wouldn't have voted for Hillary if she had won the primary. It was antagonistic for her to call me those things when she knows that it isn't true?

You usually have good insight into issues on these boards....but you are wrong about this one. I realizes it's difficult for a WM to understand what's it's like to be a BM. It is impossible for a WM to imagine what it's like to walk a mile in my shoes. As Chris Rock says he's "rich and the bus boy doesn't want to trade places" with him...instead chosing to "ride this white thing out and see where it goes."

[VENUSNOVA]

there are jerks in every color....

Thats my policy NJA!

I see no color, however it is up to the provider to decide who she prefers to see and I am sorry we live in a world where to some providers ethnic background matters.


It is also unfortunate that some guys feel they have to have to mention they are a "certain" race before scheduling.

I think the providers should post it on their webpage or showcase if they are indeed partial to certain races, otherwise tell them when you are inquiring for a session its better than wasting your time arranging a meeting just to get turned away

fuck that.

It only leads to anger and dissappointment from both ends.

And If a hobbyist is going to decide against seeing me because I see men of ALL colors and even YES even men with special needs then I am not really interested in seeing them either.

This is just making me sick, I cannot believe that there are men that would decide against seeing a provider if she has seen a certain race.

ugghhh...


Since when do they have the right to control who we enjoy our times with?

Those are NJA's

lol

Kisses,
Cercy

[DFW5Traveler]

Originally Posted by Tarzan of Dallas

You usually have good insight into issues on these boards....but you are wrong about this one. I realizes it's difficult for a WM to understand what's it's like to be a BM. It is impossible for a WM to imagine what it's like to walk a mile in my shoes. As Chris Rock says he's "rich and the bus boy doesn't want to trade places" with him...instead chosing to "ride this white thing out and see where it goes."

Now, can you anwer the question I asked earlier; would you see a provider that you weren't attracted to? If not, why would you expect a provider to see someone she isn't attracted to or prefers not to see? There seems to be a lot of preference when it comes to some providers; age, weight, size, and of course race. I've seen a few say no middle eastern men, but I don't see the middle eastern men asking the race question.

If a BW won't date a BM does that make her racist or preferential? I actually know BW in the DFW area that refuse to date a BM. Preference does not equal prejudice, IMHO. And yes, I believe there is racism, but not everyone who has a personal preference is a bigot.

If a provider says she'll only do greek with smaller hobbiest and you happen to larger, isn't that her choice to make? ( I understand it's not a race thing, but I hope you'll understand that I'm trying to make a point that we hobbiests should have no decision in what a provider chooses to do with her body. ) IMHO, a provider has the right to choose who she will see whether we as hobbiests think it's right or wrong. Afterall, they are human beings with a mind of there own and not sex-droids with a pre-programmed thought process.

[BlackJedi]

I'm new to the hobby and do not live in Dallas or anywhere in Texas. But I remember researching these sort of threads and topics on A@PD.net when I first became intrigued with this hobby. I could be wrong but I believe the main gripe some AA hobbyist have with some providers who do not see AA men is that those providers will disqualify or omit AA men based on an bad experience they may have had. Basically pigeon holing an entire group of persons based on an bad experience. That is just my opinion and could be wrong, etc.

Thanks

[thighhighfreek]

I would provide an escort to an AA gentleman , if I could watch and then go afterwards with the provide. Guess thats why Im a freek.LoL

[Guest021710-3]

Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

Now, can you anwer the question I asked earlier; would you see a provider that you weren't attracted to? If not, why would you expect a provider to see someone she isn't attracted to or prefers not to see? There seems to be a lot of preference when it comes to some providers; age, weight, size, and of course race. I've seen a few say no middle eastern men, but I don't see the middle eastern men asking the race question.

I understand the issue of attraction and preference. True...as a paying client, I would not see a provider that I was not attracted to...and I would only see providers more than once that I have chemistry with....that's preference. Oh....and I prefer red heads with a nice ass....but I do not exclude blonds, brunettes, AA, Hispanic, Asians or anyone on the basis of race or color. When it comes down to it, attraction, especially for women, is all about chemistry...not any of that other s**t.

If a provider was limiting her clients to tall dark haired men between the ages of 35 and 50 who are college educated and financially secure....that's preference. If a provider refuses to see someone more than once because she can't stand him...that's preference. If a provider wants to see a photo of the prospective client and talk with him for a while before setting an appointment...that's preference. If a provider simply excludes all AA men....I'll call a spade a spade.

It's more about stereotypes than substance. I have a bachelor's degree, a graduate degee, I own my own business, I weight train 3-4 times a week (complete with a 6 pack), I ride 100-150 miles a week on my bike (stamina like you would not believe), and I tip well. Most women find me intelligent, funny, and attractive (even if there is no chemisty); so it begs the question...why exclude me?

However, in the end, I personally don't care. There are more than enough stunningly beautiful, sexually gifted, and intelligent providers out there who do see AA men to keep me more than happy.

Since I am a Mulato (my Father is AA and American Indian, and my Mother is German) am I still counted as AA? Since I only take off 1/2 day on MLK and Juneteenth......can I get WM pass?

[DFW5Traveler]

Originally Posted by Tarzan of Dallas

However, in the end, I personally don't care. There are more than enough stunningly beautiful, sexually gifted, and intelligent providers out there who do see AA men to keep me more than happy.

If you don't care, why is it so important for you to call a "spade a spade?" I'm honestly not trying to pick a fight and I think it's great that you have succeded where so many others have failed despite your perceived disadvantage. I say perceived, because your words lead me believe you still see yourself as disadvantaged even though you are successful. In the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, "you can't always get what you want."

There are still providers who exclude hobbiest due to age. True, there are some younger men who know how to be a gentlman, but they are still excluded. Not because of their personality, but because of sterotyping. Your argument suggests that you shouldn't be excluded because of your race and not a perceived stereotype. If the same holds true with the age related sterotype, then there are agist providers as well as racists.

Wasn't it you who said that some "management" pay their women not to see a BM? Does that mean the women or the "management" are racists? I ask now, if "management" is a BM and the provider is white, why would a white women get involved with a BM if she is racist?

Sterotyping doesn't stop at WW, there are still BW who refuse to see BM, does that make them racists or are they espousing preference? Is stereotyping <insert -ism here> or is it ignorance?

If a person says, "I don't see color," but only dates people outside their race, does that make them ignorant or is it a form of reverse-racism? This in an of itself isn't limited to one race, there is a lot of this going on with black, white, asian, middle eastern, et.al.

Racism and or preference will never go away. One hundred years from now, we may all be the proverbial melting pot, but we would all unite against little green men. Telling someone that their ideology is stupid because we don't fit into your preference won't change a thing.

[Guest021710-3]

Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

If you don't care, why is it so important for you to call a "spade a spade?" I'm honestly not trying to pick a fight and I think it's great that you have succeded where so many others have failed despite your perceived disadvantage. I say perceived, because your words lead me believe you still see yourself as disadvantaged even though you are successful. In the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, "you can't always get what you want."

Sterotyping doesn't stop at WW, there are still BW who refuse to see BM, does that make them racists or are they espousing preference? Is stereotyping <insert -ism here> or is it ignorance?

Racism and or preference will never go away. One hundred years from now, we may all be the proverbial melting pot, but we would all unite against little green men. Telling someone that their ideology is stupid because we don't fit into your preference won't change a thing.

Choosing not focus on racism does not mean that we should ignore its existence. Yes...black people are just as capable of being racists as other people. Being black does not give you a pass for being racists...it's still wrong.

That being said, I don't want to live in a color blind society. Being biracial gives me a unique perspective on the world and distinguishes me from others. I don’t want to look like or be treated like everyone else. When a light skinned black man with hazel eyes walks in anywhere, he gets noticed…..I don’t want this to change. I’m also not suggesting that providers that exclude men purely on race change. I’m simply suggesting that we acknowledge what they are….that’s it.

[DFW5Traveler]

I'm not black, but I am a multi-racial smorgasbord of the world. I have nieces and nephews who are half black who I love very much and I do see what they go through.

As their uncle I don't want to see them hurt. They will always know that I am here and that I will be honest with them. They will grow up loved. Unfortunately, they will know disappointment and not because they are bi-racial, but because disappointment has no prejudice and everyone is subject.

[Guest041811-2]

[QUOTE=DFW5Traveler;75556]I have to ask everyone who believes that NBA providers are discriminating, why does an NBA policy automatically make a provider a racist? Now, I'll ask the question that no one will answer, if a hobbiest has a preference for spinners or blondes or BBW's and that hobbiest does not deviate from his personal preference, does that mean he discriminates? Why then does an NBA policy mean discrimination?
QUOTE]

Very good point.

Many of those disturbed by NBA policies only want to see white providers. Why isn't anyone calling them "racist"? Why is it so hard to understand the word "preference"? The same way many black hobbyists PREFER not to see black providers, why are white providers who PREFER not to see black hobbyists delegitimized by that ugly word "racist"?

As a provider who has a strict NAA (No Assholes Allowed) policy, I don't understand selecting your clients based on ethnicity. I do, however, understand a providers right to choose who she sess based solely on her own criteria. I will ALWAYS support that.

And on the flip side, I will ALWAYS support a hobbyists right to see who he wants to see. You're black, but don't wanna hobby with black girls? Cool. I'll never call you a racist cause you aren't attracted to me. So why call a white girl a racist simply cause she doesn't wanna see you?