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Owlman · 04-05-2012, 11:20 AM

For awhile now, this lady and I have been meeting without having sex to see how are feelings for each other are when no sex or money is involved.

blowpop · 04-05-2012, 11:48 AM

Real relationships happen in the hobby, but more often than not, they end with at least one of the parties being incredibly unhappy. What often happens is the classic situation of two people with vastly different expectations and levels of attraction. He's typically looking for the hot sex kitten who never complains or bogs him down with day-to-day stuff, she's often looking for either a sugar daddy or a white knight who will sweep her off her feet.

Real life isn't like this. It's one thing to put on the facade for an hour, or a week, but it won't last forever.

Owlman · 04-05-2012, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blowpop

Real relationships happen in the hobby, but more often than not, they end with at least one of the parties being incredibly unhappy. What often happens is the classic situation of two people with vastly different expectations and levels of attraction. He's typically looking for the hot sex kitten who never complains or bogs him down with day-to-day stuff, she's often looking for either a sugar daddy or a white knight who will sweep her off her feet.

Real life isn't like this. It's one thing to put on the facade for an hour, or a week, but it won't last forever.

Frankly, I am nervous about those things. I am trying to see how things go without sex or her looking provacative. I am also concerned as to whether, deep down, she principally looks at me as a ticket out of the profession.

She has been at the mid-level price rangew of the profession and has not made huge amounts of money. Nevertheless, she really appeals to me.

blowpop · 04-05-2012, 02:37 PM

If you are interested, I'd move very, very slowly. Really get to know her. Follow the sage advice: "Trust, but verify."

Good luck.

Nick11796 · 04-05-2012, 11:35 PM

Owl - #49 is right know what you are doing before proceeding. If you decide to proceed do so with the commitment to do whatever you can to overcome problems.

arialemonde · 04-08-2012, 12:37 PM

I made a rule along time ago to never get involved with clients. I have broken that rule twice and each time its ended in emotional heartache.

Its great to connect, become friends and think you could possibly have a relationship with someone whom you think sees you as a real person not a fantasy but reality is Ive found both separate times, Im the one who always gets hurt.

I end up feeling used and betrayed. Leaving me an emotional wreck for weeks.

Both relationships started out great, both guys were very interested in seeing me but at the end, I was the one getting used for free sex all the while they were out looking for real relationships with other women on the side.

I was never important to them. Six months of hanging out, spending time together was just a benefit nothing more. I invested my feelings, all they invested was their cock.

At the end both told me Im just a fun girl to hangout with but Im not someone they would be interested in seeing beyond that because of what I do.

Had I know that from the start, I would have never gone down that road.

Owlman · 04-08-2012, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arialemonde

At the end both told me Im just a fun girl to hangout with but Im not someone they would be interested in seeing beyond that because of what I do. Had I know that from the start, I would have never gone down that road.

My interest in the lady I am seeing goes beyond fun and sex. We need to determine whether two very different life experiences can be melded together in a way where both feel good.

I agree that lots of guys may never get past the sex in relationships with providers. The provider needs to use a lot of discretion to make sure the guy has deeper interests. The guy needs to make sure that the provider's principal interest is not security.

Wakeup · 04-08-2012, 01:46 PM

The short answer to your question is...none, if they're smart...

That's been the same answer given the past fifty times this same post has come up...you special?

The reason people keep posting this same question is becuse they want to convince themselves that they're special...when in fact they're doomed to failure just like the rest...

LexusLover · 04-08-2012, 02:17 PM

If it flies, floats, or f#&ks, ..... rent it.

offshoredrilling · 04-08-2012, 04:09 PM

Anyone want to buy my boat.

you can fly wave to wave
till you find a good spot to let it float
and give your fuck a good fucking

frankli · 04-08-2012, 07:16 PM

Owlman How are you going to be able to determine lack of security motive. Providers are incredibly adept at feigning care and feelings to their clients. Unfortuantely emotions totally cloud judgement. If you stay in this relationship for years you will be asking yourself the same question years from now and still without the answer

Nick11796 · 04-08-2012, 10:26 PM

Owlman- I have had to make judgments most of my adult life. I know that she is looking for security, but you have to determine that she really loves you as well. On her part, she has to determine that you love her and will not ditch her if you find a younger, better looking lady

I am not sure how you will go about this. But you will have to give it your best shot.

PhantomofTheOpera · 04-09-2012, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blowpop

If you are interested, I'd move very, very slowly. Really get to know her. Follow the sage advice: "Trust, but verify."

Good luck.

Others have posted similar advice so do what you like Owlman but do pay attention. You may be special to her but in what way? That is the unanswered question. In addition to what BP wrote there is this: If her lips are moving, she is lying. By that, don't go by what she says, go by what she does... over a long period of time. Is she consistent in how she behaves? Does she do what she says she will do? If her words follow her actions, then incrementally let her into your life. Don't be obvious but do verify what she tells you. Never met a provider who was not adept at lying particularly when they want something.

Good luck.

Nick11796 · 04-09-2012, 04:23 PM

Owl - I do not know what you do. However, if you meet lots of people in business situations, you need to be prepared for something like what happened to me today. I was at a meeting about a proposed deal. The meeting included the guys on the other side and their lawyer. The lawyer came right out and said that he had had my wife and would keep her situation quiet if we agreed to reasonable terms. Because of other things, people know about my wife's history. However, if that was not the case, something like this could have been a major problem.

PhantomofTheOpera · 04-09-2012, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick11796

Owl - I do not know what you do. However, if you meet lots of people in business situations, you need to be prepared for something like what happened to me today. I was at a meeting about a proposed deal. The meeting included the guys on the other side and their lawyer. The lawyer came right out and said that he had had my wife and would keep her situation quiet if we agreed to reasonable terms. Because of other things, people know about my wife's history. However, if that was not the case, something like this could have been a major problem.

Not to hijack this thread but Nick, that is an ethics violation that the state bar of where the attorney has his license should be informed. All jokes aside about lawyers and ethics, what the yahoo did was attempted blackmail and he could very well lose his bar license for that, should you pursue a complaint which I encourage you to do.