EDIT: I just realized that I need to clarify the reason for this post. My thoughts here aren't intended as a response only to this particular thread, but to pretty much all the recent "Drama threads" that have been cropping up of late. Hotrix vs. Cpalm, LaneyLixx, Vanessa Ink, and any others I may have missed.
Moderators are what makes or breaks any message board. I've been a moderator on several non-hobby related boards over the years, although I'm not currently. The first time I served as a forum moderator, I was surprised at how difficult and time-consuming it can be, it's also largely thankless work. I understand the challenges. No matter what, you are not going to please everyone, and drama (probably my least-favorite aspect of any forum) is almost inevitable. The drama aspect is what led me to resign from most of the forums I've moderated over the years. Regardless of the topic of the forum, I learned a few lessons, usually the hard way, about how to moderate a forum for and keep it healthy.
1. Transparency. Vital. The reasons for your actions and decisions have to be crystal clear, explained well, and supported by the forum rules. Good, well-thought out rules are critical. As far as I can tell the rules here on ECCIE are pretty good. Not perfect, but given the Customer/Provider firewall that is in place, (absolutely necessary IMHO) they are probably as good as they can be.
2. Impartiality. Moderators cannot play favorites, cannot nurse or hold grudges. It's pure poison. I've seen firsthand, more than once, a good forum descend into chaos from this. Some did not survive.
3. A moderator cannot take issues personally. A moderator must be able to turn off his or her "me switch".
4. Consistency. All rules have to be enforced equally and every time. It's natural that on a forum where moderators are "volunteers" that some violations may go unnoticed. Mainstream boards that employ actual paid, professional moderators do much better with this. Not a choice for ECCIE unfortunately.
5. Clarity and brevity. To be really successful, the moderator must be able to communicate clearly and effectively, preferably with as few words as possible while remaining professional and polite.
6. Manners. Gotta be respectful and polite AT ALL TIMES. This is particularly important when dealing with posters who are the opposite.
7. Watchfulness. Particularly important on a forum like this. It's easy, almost inevitable, for interpersonal conflicts and grudges to pop up from time to time. Someone, provider or customer will get butt-hurt and choose the forum as a place to grind that axe. Mods must be able to identify that, and put a stop to it. In my experience most of these will turn into repeat offenders, it's human nature. The semi-anonymity of forums like this only make those sorts bolder. They do not have to be banned in most cases, in fact, in my experience, properly moderated they usually have a lot to contribute to the community. Unfortunately, for a very few, the "Nuclear Option" eventually becomes the moderators only recourse.
Are the current moderators "up to scratch"? I don't know, but it's obvious that there are problems. Whether or not it's the moderators that are the issue or if it's the posters.....only time will tell. I do firmly believe that something must change. The current atmosphere is not healthy. I'd add that, IMHO, forum moderators probably should not be from the area of the forums they moderate. I don't know if that is the case here or not, but given the personal nature of this activity, it seems to me to be a be a good idea.
To be honest, I can't really follow a lot of these recent issues. I don't place a high enough level of importance on this stuff to overcome my natural aversion to drama. The only people involved that I know personally are the providers, and I haven't seen anything from any of the providers I know, some of them quite well, that would lead me to lend credence to some of the accusations, but TBH, I really don't care all that much. It's entirely possible that I'm wrong. I care that the providers I see are honest in their dealings with me, are skilled, provide the experience that I'm looking for, and that the value for the price is reasonable.
I'm really looking forward to this forum getting back to the primary mission, hedonism, fun and pleasure.
Anyway, just my $.02, and perhaps it's not worth even that much. I enjoy participation in this forum very much. It has been extremely valuable to me and I'd hate to see it ruined.
Back to the Fuckery!!!!
I really enjoy many of the other aspects of this hobby that I've been in for damn near 25 years now. But let's face it. I'm here for the fucking and sucking first last and always.
Ok then fellas...
Lol...and there ya have it! TA DUHHHH.. told ya ugh... I'm scraming.. he's still after me like poor Cinderella. Freak. .SO PEOPLE OF THE GREAT STATES UNDER TEXAS LAW NOW!! . later. God speed.. XXOO annie
XXOO annie
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