Providers vs Strippers... A GFE discussion <== all those mistakenly looking for GFs here should read.

[Dagny D.E.W.]

Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

I think I would feel weird sending a client a message without hearing from him first -- even if he had told me it was OK. It would involve specific record keeping to note who wants you to contact them and in what situations that it just seems easier to use one policy for all.

whew, girlfriend from your lips to my ears! I'm reminded of the gal who started me on the body rubs. She said "oh if it is slow, just call your favorite gents and ask them to come see you." I was oh sooooooo blown away and said, "no I don't think I will do that" later a guy came to see me instead of her because she called him during a huge family affair that he was at the head table and was struck speechless that she call him then.

I never call but will note that SOME are ok with it. very interesting.

[austinkboy]

I think this is a conflict of the heart and mind. Logic dictates that absolute discretion is the best policy. That means, no random contact just because you want to drum up business. Same goes for the men. Many of the ladies have civilian lives, and the same awkwardness is present from receiving random contact unexpectedly. But as Whispers, said in a case where there is an understanding as to both want and encouragement, that is probably a different matter.
Logic dictates the smart thing to do, and that is the correct thing to do most of the time. But its human nature to crave attention, so some of the time, that extra "I'm thinking about you" is what makes the difference.

[Yssup Rider]

Originally Posted by austinkboy

t its human nature to crave attention, so some of the time, that extra "I'm thinking about you" is what makes the difference.

Unless it's someone you're absolutely social with outside the hobby, I can't think of a single time when unsolicited contact isn't at least a little bit awkward. And more often than not intrusive.

But what does any of this have to do with the topic of the thread?

[austinkboy]

Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

Unless it's someone you're absolutely social with outside the hobby, I can't think of a single time when unsolicited contact isn't at least a little bit awkward. And more often than not intrusive.
But what does any of this have to do with the topic of the thread?

We are talking about a situation where contact is specifically not unsolicited because it was permitted, and even encouraged. (per Whispers)

Sorry, I seem to be following you around and my answer changes as you edit yours...
The relevance to the thread is that Whispers was making a point that the strippers are better than providers at giving you attention, more like girlfriends, vs he feels that providers are more like wives where you have to ask for it. Well, that not the entirety of his point, but just connection to my comment.

[Yssup Rider]

No problem akb -- just think that's a bit of a stretch for a "providers vs strippers true confession" thread.

But wtf do I know?

Been a loooong day! I could do with some cold beer and sweet soul music!

[Bobave]

Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

Been a loooong day! I could do with some cold beer and sweet soul music!

I think that would be a good idea, you've sort of been wandering in the wilderness on this one. A little knee-jerkitis, maybe? No offense.

[Bobave]

Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

I think I would feel weird sending a client a message without hearing from him first -- even if he had told me it was OK. It would involve specific record keeping to note who wants you to contact them and in what situations that it just seems easier to use one policy for all.

That has to be comforting to your regulars, if you can't remember that specific fact about them...

iven a choice, most providers would take the guy who shows up, pays, and leaves over a high maintenance client who requires phone calls and off the clock lunches to stay interested. So if a provider is busy, she'll drop the needy guy first.

This is very disappointing to me. I honestly had an image of you as a sophisticated courtesan... instead, sounds like you're more concerned with the production function. I truly hope that I misunderstood or that you reacted without thinking it though...

[austinkboy]

Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

No problem akb -- just think that's a bit of a stretch for a "providers vs strippers true confession" thread.

But wtf do I know?

Been a loooong day! I could do with some cold beer and sweet soul music!

+1. Me too WTF do I know. Not quite done yet. For now substitute beer with libido blend smoothie, and soul music with ass kicking martial art.

[Yssup Rider]

Originally Posted by Bobave

I think that would be a good idea, you've sort of been wandering in the wilderness on this one. A little knee-jerkitis, maybe? No offense.

Nice.

[knotty man]

i have very little insight into this. since i havent been with a stripper since my 20's. but from what i gather. providers seem to be more stable i.e. moms, school, family. and therefore approach it as a business. which is ok. since that is what this is. but they set aside time for it. they screen thier clients. they prep for their date. and genuinely want their man to have an enjoyable time. whereas strippers approach men as targets of oppurtunity. very little screening if any. as far as preppin for a date. that usually means several shots. and as far as caring if theyre gent has a good time, ehh, theres always another guy coming in on the next shift. what i mean is providers care more about repeat business with a man they feel comfortable with as opposed to the quick cash and on to the next. i guess what im tryin to say is providers distinguish this from their lives where as strippers seem to incoporate it as their lifestyle. again ,this is just what i feel. but i dont know. on these matters concerning strippers i will definitely defer to whispers knowledge. oh. and BTW i am single have no SO . so any lady that ever feels the need to text me GO AHEAD! always love to talk to a beautiful lady. just remember im an hour away. so dont expect for me to be there in a flash if your just needin cash...lol

[Natalie Reign]

Originally Posted by Bobave

That has to be comforting to your regulars, if you can't remember that specific fact about them...

This is very disappointing to me. I honestly had an image of you as a sophisticated courtesan... instead, sounds like you're more concerned with the production function. I truly hope that I misunderstood or that you reacted without thinking it though...

I know a bit about how Sophia operates, and feel comfortable saying that for her, it's not about the "production function." She is a stellar GFE with impeccable TCB and BCD skills. The topic at hand seems to be more about TCB, and in that arena, it's about efficiency and discretion. She has a very busy personal life, and many of her clients have very busy personal lives as well. I can relate.

I would never want someone to be put in an awkward situation because I called or texted at the wrong time. Nor would I want someone to feel pressured to see me simply because I sent a "hey, I'm thinking about you" message. It's a very fine line between a casual hello and fishing for business. I don't need or want to fish for business, and I certainly don't want my dearest friends to think I view them as little more than a wallet.

In fact, just recently, I felt compelled to reach out to someone I had never met before BCD, and hesitated to do so because I was afraid he would think I was trying to manipulate him into a session. Thankfully, I was up front about my intentions, and he didn't feel pressured. We had a very nice, casual lunch, and I feel a made a new friend in the hobby. However, I will *still* be cautious of reaching out to him too often because (a) I know he has a family at home; (b) I do not want him to feel I'm "chasing" his business; (c) I don't want either of us to feel awkward about anything at all.

For me, it is becoming increasingly important to separate the hobby from my "real" life. My personal relationships have fallen to the wayside because my hobby schedule is so erratic, and I have hours at a time where I can't answer calls or respond to texts, because that would just be rude. Like Sophia, I need time to decompress, catch up on education/career/personal business, and spend time with friends and family. If I don't take that personal time, I begin behaving like a robot, just going through the motions in every area of my life. I assume that everyone else needs the same personal space.

And that's why I am a GFE provider, and not a courtesan. A courtesan, by definition, is akin to an upscale sugar baby. She generally has very select few benefactors that she spends her time with, and is expected to cater to those gentlemen on a very intimate physical, emotional and psychological levels. Though I love to please, I am far too strong-willed and independent to participate in that type of companionship.

Whispers, I would argue that strippers provide the type of girlfriend experience you might have had in high school or college, when young women are still a bit needy, with little to no direction, and finding a man is at the top of their priority list. Quality providers tend to offer the sort of girlfriend experience you would have as an adult, with a woman who has an education, career and goals of her own. One keeps you around because she needs you. The other keeps you around because she wants you.

[guest031812]

nicely said Natalie

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Natalie Reign

IWhispers, I would argue that strippers provide the type of girlfriend experience you might have had in high school or college, when young women are still a bit needy, with little to no direction, and finding a man is at the top of their priority list. Quality providers tend to offer the sort of girlfriend experience you would have as an adult, with a woman who has an education, career and goals of her own. One keeps you around because she needs you. The other keeps you around because she wants you.

Well....

I'm 53yo and prefer early 20s girls...... The idea of one "wanting" me is a bit far fetched... I'm practical......

I'll settle for the ones "needing" me.....

After all... I have "needs" as well....

[Bobave]

Originally Posted by Natalie Reign

I know a bit about how Sophia operates, and feel comfortable saying that for her, it's not about the "production function." She is a stellar GFE with impeccable TCB and BCD skills.

I need to be clear on something. I hold Sensual Sophia in high regard. I met her once non-BCD and was impressed with her personally. I've always felt her posts were were articulate and reasonable. So I felt comfortable debating with her. If however, I offended her in any way... that was not my intention and I apologize. Publicly, since any potential slight was public.

[Guest052711]

Natalie I think that was perfectly phrased.

Bobave, a lot of phrases pop out naturally without carrying the meaning that the phrase would literally suggest. For instance, saying "see you tomorrow" to your coworkers on Friday and the numerous times we say thank you when there was nothing to say thank you for. Someone saying "call me sometime" may or may not actually mean call me sometime, it could also mean "I want to see you again, I hope you respond to my next email." Trying to guess if they truly meant it, as Sophia said, is more likely to cause harm in a lot of instances and if it's necessary to decipher the meaning and respond to the meaning and not the words, you're probably better off losing a handful of high mantenance clients than losing most of the fun ones and potentially damaging their lives. That's a good business practice, respectful, and keeping our promise about discretion. Someone saying we're allowed to not be discreet, doesn't mean it isn't still breaking our promise to be.

Desperate is not an attractive quality on anyone, unless you're goal is easy manipulation.