Married Man Guilt. Does it exist as a Hobbyist?

[pyramider]

One sided might be better wording than wrong:

[SxySpanishMia]

Visiting with married men is a personal thrill of mine, only because of the secrecy of it all.

I used to visit with a good friend/client over the years and he had/has both married man guilt AND religious guilt.

He would feel terrible for what he was doing (hobbying), but still continued to travel several hours to visit with me. He said I made him feel like no one ever had, but I couldn't take the guilt of how much it would break him down with confusion if he should remain miserable and not cheat or if he should fulfill his sexual/companionship needs?

His wife would not give him any affection and would rarely have sex, no kissing, hugging, nothing. She attributed those feelings to being brought up without affection and getting molested at a young age. (They have 4 children) Guess those were the only moments she was horny, was to have kids

Finally, I cut communication off by changing my number and email. In hopes that he would get his life together and not live with guilt. Visiting together was no longer fun, things became too real and this was supposed to be "fantasy fun." (She caught him emailing a fbsm provider and since then, she controlled all their funds). He had other ways of getting money from his job and she didn't know it.

Lies, cheating, sinning, can certainly take a toll, but I can't fathom living an unfulfilled life. In that case, I'd stay single..and I am.

To each their own.

[gentlemantoo]

Mia, great post. Paying women to get him only feels good for a few minutes. The guilt lasts all day long. Also, you talk of cutting him off, good for you to not be a part of that. Guilt of a provider having sex with a married men, lmao. He sounds like the extreme of guilt. He should grow a spine and divorce her. If she cannot or is unwilling to make any effort to satisfy some of his needs, he should leave and find someone that cares for him. Seeing providers does not help him, she does not care for him, just wants his cash. It is a release nothing else.

[SxySpanishMia]

Originally Posted by gentlemantoo

Mia, great post. Paying women to get him only feels good for a few minutes. The guilt lasts all day long. Also, you talk of cutting him off, good for you to not be a part of that. Guilt of a provider having sex with a married men, lmao. He sounds like the extreme of guilt. He should grow a spine and divorce her. If she cannot or is unwilling to make any effort to satisfy some of his needs, he should leave and find someone that cares for him. Seeing providers does not help him, she does not care for him, just wants his cash. It is a release nothing else.

Thank you Gentlemantoo.

Contrary to popular belief, providers do have guilt on certain aspects within providing. We too have to live with certain decisions we make and money doesn't always give us what we need. Some of us chose this way for a more comfortable life, but it comes with a price.

I think he (person I wrote about) remains in the relationship because of how long he has been married. Their kids are grown and out of the house.

I don't judge married men that visit with me. If anything, I take them away from their pressures for the time scheduled and sometimes off the clock when I know them long enough. I know my limits and won't continue to meet with them if they mentally drain me.

*Sappy Warning*
In the end, life has no rules, break them and be happy.

[Gotyour6]

Nope
She knows about it.

Marriage is a contract and every contract is negotiable

[curious247]

Just another reminder to keep it business and use eccie to explore your fantasies and be drama free. There are feelings and passion that’s just part of it. But at the end of the day it’s just business and if can’t understand that then don’t join in on the fun. Geez why does it have to be so hard. This is so much fun if done properly. Any sign of dram from either side both just need to agree to move on to the next one. Is what it is

[curious247]

Why can’t we just be thankful that our fat ugly asses have a way to meet beautiful women and explore each other sexually that we would not be able to have in the real world. Most of these ladies wouldn’t even give us the time for drink. That’s probably why most of us are on here anyway because you have no game. But now that your on here and getting some with hot ladies that you could only jack off to normally you are going to screw it up with emotions and feelings. Move on. Come on guys. Fuck em all and have fun

[lgca]

This thread has been a great help for me to start making life changes. Thank you to all who have contributed. I just asked my wife for an extended private talk (away from our minor kids). She probably thinks I want to divorce her. The truth is I want an intimate relationship-partnership with her, and I don't just mean sex. If she doesn't want that, or can't give that, I will be disappointed but will move on with purpose to find it elsewhere. There is nothing wrong with an hour of satisfaction here and there, but it is no substitute for a fulfilling ongoing relationship.

[raptorvid]

Originally Posted by curious247

Why can’t we just be thankful that our fat ugly asses have a way to meet beautiful women and explore each other sexually that we would not be able to have in the real world. Most of these ladies wouldn’t even give us the time for drink. That’s probably why most of us are on here anyway because you have no game. But now that your on here and getting some with hot ladies that you could only jack off to normally you are going to screw it up with emotions and feelings. Move on. Come on guys. Fuck em all and have fun

Agree, this is not complicated. I offer another scenario on why we visit ECCIE. You may have game but girlfriends can be very complicated. There are expectations, phone calls, text messages, email and breaking up is very hard to do when expectations go beyond just "the other woman." That is a scenario where things can spin out of your control with unintended consequences, mostly bad. A famous actor, name escapes me, once was asked why he payed for sex when he could have any beautiful woman he wanted in Hollywood. His answer was, "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to not be here in the morning." That is the beauty of ECCIE and the lovely ladies we find on the site. ECCIE is a business platform where providers advertise and hobbyists can pay to play!

[Ashleyoflebanon]

Yes. Over the years, I've had Clients confess their guilty feelings to me. They love their wives but something is missing; so they see a Provider. Gentlemen with hearts and a conscience are some of my faves!

[midvale]

Originally Posted by midvale

Yes, I do feel guilt, but not enough to stop. I have a wonderful wife of 50+ years in every way except no sex for the last 15 years. I don't like the lying and cheating. It would be devastating to her if she knew and I don't want to hurt her. Devastating to me also if she found out, but I live with it and keep on seeing a selective few.

Originally Posted by Ashleyoflebanon

Yes. Over the years, I've had Clients confess their guilty feelings to me. They love their wives but something is missing; so they see a Provider. Gentlemen with hearts and a conscience are some of my faves!

Hear, hear, someone that understands and has compassion.

[ihump@amps]

I feel guilty after the euphoria of the event wears off. Soon afterwards though my mind starts racing and pondering the possibilities of the next session. All the while conducting myself as a 100% devoted husband and father. Ironically, my actions show otherwise. While I sought justification for my actions as merely a way to find a release or deal with stress, it proved otherwise.

When they find out, and they will, your world will be devastated and you will have to accept the damage that your behavior has caused. The ramifications of doing this are greater than any that I had considered before. It is a definite altering of the course of one's life and not in the best direction. I can quite honestly say that I became addicted to the sensations and illusions of the moment. It provided a void that I had a home. Now it will have caused a void that I'll never fill again. In my case, a simple conversation on both sides would have helped to work out of all of this.

Then again, would I have started doing this several years ago if everything was perfect? Maybe, maybe not. The fact is my actions and truly mine alone have me in this situation. Only myself to blame and only I can try to heal others and myself.

My best advice to anyone that is married is don't do this unless you are ok with destroying the people you love. This isn't a post for pity, merely hoping if someone is really new, that they consider everything.

[RyanFromTER]

Originally Posted by Sir Axl

Since this thread went deeper than I thought I’m going to elaborate on my original statement.

I’m the type of asshole that was getting plenty at home, but got tired of the routine and wanted to experience someone different. I’d only been with her and we’ve been together since high school and I do love her. I really thought I would do it one time and would feel really guilty to finally get that crazy idea of fucking someone else out of my head.

Guess what happened? I enjoyed it more than I thought and I did not feel guilty at all. Not one bit. I then started hobbying about once a week on average. There were times I would see a provider during the day and turn around and fuck my wife later that evening.

My wife did eventually find out. Yes, we are still married. She has been devastated, but I still really don’t feel guilty, more annoyed with her constant outbursts and angry I can’t really hobby anymore. She is practically demanding sex nearly everyday now, but it really is starting to feel like a dreaded chore and the routine I was getting bored with in the first place is becoming worse. Not sure where it goes from here...

This sounds like the equivalent of being caught with cigarettes as a kid. Then your parents locking you in a closet with a carton of unfiltered Camels until you finished them all.

[g89753]

Interesting thread.

Feeling are complicated. I feel very little or no guilt about seeing providers. I have made it clear to my wife that I need sex on a regular basis. She made it clear that she considers sex to be a once or twice a year thing.

I did file for divorce a few years back. She begged for more time, made promises. I granted more time. She broke promises. I thought about the effects on my kids some more and decided to stay put for now.

Besides, between age, weight, and the fact I have been doing self service for over a decade I have largely lost the ability. I have no trouble achieving an erection watching porn, but when I am with a woman, that is tough. I am using the proper medication and trying to retrain my brain and body to respond in the normal fashion (and trying to lose weight!).

If my wife finds out, I will speed dial the lawyer and file. If not, then when my youngest graduates high school (a few more years). In the intervening time I will I see providers and hope that I can be ready when I am next looking for a girl friend. Though I do confess that the thought has crossed my mind that a provider might be less expensive and far more honest than a girlfriend.

So, while I am married, I consider that I am a single guy in training. Getting my mind and body ready for my next sexual relationship.

And in the mean time, I am having a bunch of fun.

[JONBALLS]

never understood the whole marriage thing growing up

have fun making a living and its comfortable but to get divorced and live on half? foget that shit

never really saw anyone married happy

all the guys I knew constantly bitched and were unhappy

I couldn't stay with one girl dating so why would I want to try marriage?

twenty years later and having every sort of sex till it initself is now boring


think I'm ready to get married