Do men get what is going on with a provider or care?

[Crock]

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

Maybe I misapprehension what the OP is saying. But I didn’t think she was talking about complaining directly about her problems. I read it as habing somewhat natural (albeit perhaps heightened) anxiety — perhaps about security, safety concerns, and wanting to please a new customer — that made her a bit too chatty. Not necessarily chatty about those particular issues, but too talkative nonetheless.

The question then would be, if I read her post correctly, is whether the customer would see this as a conversational tic caused by nervousness, or just think she was intentionally blathering on about seemingly nothing.

But perhaps I’m the one who is mistaken.

In that case, I think ladies should try to ensure the chattiness remains upbeat and positive, or caters it to the interests expressed by the client. Avoid controversial topics (religion, politics, tense current events, etc...). Perhaps inquiring into what the client likes or dislikes would be helpful? I'm sure some ladies here have a good routine with icebreaker questions that often blossom into positive conversation.

[TexTushHog]

Exactly. Try to manage or minimize the anxiety, and to the extent you can’t, rediredct it into a positive direction.

[Butch Cassidy]

Originally Posted by dals

I am ok with small talk, for a few minutes. A human connection leads to better play, I think.The problem I have is when it strays into difficulty in rw life. I feel like it is an open invite to help more than the sizable donation I am about to part with, and makes me really uncomfortable. No easy transition from I am about to get evicted, my phone shut off, etc, to let's get sexy. I really enjoy a session with a real woman, just not pay the bills, tell me about your problems real. It's supposed to be fun, not depressing.

Your avatar is really distracting

Rompers buy me a coffee and I'll listen attentively

[dals]

The avatar makes me look smarter...people are too distracted to argue!

Originally Posted by Butch Cassidy

Your avatar is really distracting

Rompers buy me a coffee and I'll listen attentively

[Hectorsilverman]

Originally Posted by Kendall4U

Not to be rude, but this is the guys "hobby". They aren't paying us to vent our anxieties to. They want drama free fun. They get a whole lot of b.s. in their RW, why on earth would they want to deal with it here? I'm not saying you can't become friends with a client or two and maybe discuss some RW happenings, but for the most part, I think that if you are experiencing anxiety you should probably refrain from seeing clients. It happens. We all have "off" days. Those days find something else to do rather than risk not vibing, over sharing or just plain weirding the guy out. Just my 2 cents.

Well said, it’s a little awkward at times when you’re just wanting a release but have to endure a little extra rambling before that happens. Almost reminds me of having to do yardwork, before I can get laid!

[BLM69]

Originally Posted by Hectorsilverman

Well said, it’s a little awkward at times when you’re just wanting a release but have to endure a little extra rambling before that happens. Almost reminds me of having to do yardwork, before I can get laid!

No rambling works for me when the $ meter is running

[Tsmokies]

That's why my regulars know when I'm one n done they can hang around and talk about anything they want. I had one that asked me for some sweats so she could go visit with her mom in the hospital and didn't want to get cold. It's always about timing for my old azz.

[FLWriter]

Originally Posted by Rompers

I tend to talk too much when my anxiety is peaking and wondering if men think about that when they see someone for the first time? I know you feel it too but it’s different.

I'm guilty of not being sensitive to it when I first began many years ago. But I'm learning. We all deal with things and it manifests itself in different ways at different times. That's why I prefer to have a ATF that I see regularly--get's that stuff out of the way.

[NuruGuru]

Originally Posted by alaine

Guys don't need to "get" what's going on with us, nor do they care.
We are here to give them a break from the "bored/board" room. It should, for the most part be about them, not us.

WRONG! Some of us do care. We're people too. Not to speak for others, but if you just need to talk about problems for 2 or 3 hours I'm game. I've spent a lot of unaccounted time talking to providers about their issues. So far, none of them have let it cut into any "clock watching time". If you just want to talk and have an unbiased opinion from somebody with a heart who has been there, sometimes it's that random person you think that doesn't care that is the perfect person to go to. I will give my heart and soul to making another person feel good about themselves. I come for many reasons. My solitude is one of them. I enjoy providers because of the many things my own personal anxiety prevents me from, such as communicating with others and having an intellectual conversation with somebody. It's not just about the sex or the release. Sometimes the release is more than just a physical feelings.

To think that all of us don't care puts us into a category of "users". Honestly, I get tired of being used. I want somebody to listen to my problems and faults, and whether or not they actually care, give their input. The "Release" is what we pay for, any social interaction can be accepted and reciprocated unbiased by the right people. We all have our problems, we all have our faults. Just because some people come around for certain reasons doesn't mean we all do. Maybe we're just lonely. Unloved. Forgotten. And we need that boost. So do you.

Some of us care. More than you'll know. Some of us believe in humanity as well as believe in the profession. Sometimes it's a genuine human connection. Even if it's false, some providers make it feel real. And that, to me, is the true GFE. Not what you'll do sexually, but how you help us emotionally. Physically is why we say we're there, but emotionally is the real connection. It doesn't even have to be permanent. It doesn't have to involve love or passion. Sometimes all we can ask for is sympathy and compassion that we can't differentiate from reality. To me, that's GFE. To me, sometimes, that's all that I need to make me feel good until the next encounter. The actual acts and physicality is a bonus. It's a release of what I've been dealing with.

I swear to drunk I'm not GOD. lol. But seriously.... Most men don't care. Some of us do. And we support you.

[Muse2015]

Originally Posted by NuruGuru

WRONG! Some of us do care. We're people too. Not to speak for others, but if you just need to talk about problems for 2 or 3 hours I'm game. I've spent a lot of unaccounted time talking to providers about their issues. So far, none of them have let it cut into any "clock watching time". If you just want to talk and have an unbiased opinion from somebody with a heart who has been there, sometimes it's that random person you think that doesn't care that is the perfect person to go to. I will give my heart and soul to making another person feel good about themselves. I come for many reasons. My solitude is one of them. I enjoy providers because of the many things my own personal anxiety prevents me from, such as communicating with others and having an intellectual conversation with somebody. It's not just about the sex or the release. Sometimes the release is more than just a physical feelings.

To think that all of us don't care puts us into a category of "users". Honestly, I get tired of being used. I want somebody to listen to my problems and faults, and whether or not they actually care, give their input. The "Release" is what we pay for, any social interaction can be accepted and reciprocated unbiased by the right people. We all have our problems, we all have our faults. Just because some people come around for certain reasons doesn't mean we all do. Maybe we're just lonely. Unloved. Forgotten. And we need that boost. So do you.

Some of us care. More than you'll know. Some of us believe in humanity as well as believe in the profession. Sometimes it's a genuine human connection. Even if it's false, some providers make it feel real. And that, to me, is the true GFE. Not what you'll do sexually, but how you help us emotionally. Physically is why we say we're there, but emotionally is the real connection. It doesn't even have to be permanent. It doesn't have to involve love or passion. Sometimes all we can ask for is sympathy and compassion that we can't differentiate from reality. To me, that's GFE. To me, sometimes, that's all that I need to make me feel good until the next encounter. The actual acts and physicality is a bonus. It's a release of what I've been dealing with.

I swear to drunk I'm not GOD. lol. But seriously.... Most men don't care. Some of us do. And we support you.

Well said NuruGuru! I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. We all hobby for different reasons. And some of us do care and search for that connection beyond the physical.

[Analeese]

I’m not sure exactly what the OP meant...whether it’s anxiety from meeting strangers or personal issues. Life happens and some guys are open to listening. Some arent. It’s easy to gauge this imo. Personally I like to get to know who I’m meeting so I try to get that out of the way before we meet.

OP does this topic stem from your recent NO review ?

[Rompers]

Wow. Great advice I get it. Thank you for responding and happy Friday! Nancy