Hobby discretion....does it matter??

[Boltfan]

Now on to more important subjects...

Bring on the trannies and midgets

[Tara Evans]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalDannie

Amen!

And it was not ABOUT Tara as much as she would love it to be . As far as her being so young, she's 3 yrs younger than me. Give me a break. In provider time, that's like 3 months. Misspriss, you are NOT that much younger than me either. Not that age matters here, nor was it the point of the thread.

By the way, I am fucking beautiful.

Certain lyrics come to mind:
"You're so vain; you probably think this thread is about you...."

Holy crap! I posted this thread in the AM and already almost 1k views! Thanks, ladies!!

It seems the consensus is, discretion matters. That's refreshing!

Oh yes Dannie, the ole grateful one. I would have loved for you too be talking about me. And yes I'm 32. I will be 33 in July. Now Dannie let your thread move on.

[Guest071613-2]

Before the trannies and midgets..(not that there's anything wrong with either one!)

Misspriss, the number you are texting him on is his personal cell phone.

Yes, he used it to set up one appt with you.Gents, take note. Make sure you have a hobby phone!! Geez!!

I realize discretion is lost on you because you are waaaaaaay younger than me and cannot comprehend these things yet. Maybe when/if you mature .

In the meantime I am, as I type this, looking at the text where he says "not interested". Take a hint, sweetheart.

Leon, you old bag of wind, I love you.

[Guest032117]

I didn't bother reading through this entire thread, I skimmed over it enough to know it got slightly off topic in a negative way.

But, I will address the original post as I find it interesting.

A while back I authored a thread about loving great smiles. In it, I listed some of my gentleman friends with great smiles on the open board (though some of them I never saw BCD). I received a couple of PMs which expressed both their appreciation for the compliment as well as their desire to stay UTR. That being said, I have come to realize that it is not my place to kiss and tell, so I refrain from doing so now.

The exception I make is in responding to and flirting with clients who are openingly admitting to seeing me and enjoying my talents. If it is initiated by them on the board, I am more than happy to engage them and express my reciprocal enjoyment and appreciation for our time together. Also, I am more open when they have written a review on me

[LickHer]

Originally Posted by Brandee69

Miss Priss u know u really do come off as being a" lil cunty" as somebody stated previously you are coming off as a bully yourself there is no sense in outting Dannie or yourself over a general question if you thought this was about you maybe you couldve taken it to her in private....The Op has never mentioned your name and why on earth would you think this is about you considering you do not even do full-service or L2?...And how could you have stolen her man? I really just think you need to sit back and chill out this thread could've been about any one of us....Good thread Dannie i think it should be practiced more in the hobby...if we were suppose to do reviews it would be put in a forum for others to see just like the guys have for us......

MEOW! Kettle, meet Pot...

[Guest071613-2]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

I didn't bother reading through this entire thread, I skimmed over it enough to know it got slightly off topic in a negative way.

But, I will address the original post as I find it interesting.

A while back I authored a thread about loving great smiles. In it, I listed some of my gentleman friends with great smiles on the open board (though some of them I never saw BCD). I received a couple of PMs which expressed both their appreciation for the compliment as well as their desire to stay UTR. That being said, I have come to realize that it is not my place to kiss and tell, so I refrain from doing so now.

The exception I make is in responding to and flirting with clients who are openingly admitting to seeing me and enjoying my talents. If it is initiated by them on the board, I am more than happy to engage them and express my reciprocal enjoyment and appreciation for our time together. Also, I am more open when they have written a review on me

Thank you for your contribution!! I think you nailed my point home. There is a time and place for everything; I have openly flirted on the board for geezus sake. However, I am also aware of who I cannot go there with, or even acknowledge that I have seen them. There are others who don't give a flying banana.

Great post and thank you for addressing the actual issue!

[addict]

Originally Posted by LickHer

MEOW! Kettle, meet Pot...

Like anybody gives a fuck about what you have to say.

[guest043013-2]

Wow.

Seems like this has been a great thread. I started to post a list of ladies who have scored points with me on this thread and ladies who made my DNS list. But that would not be nice.

I will say, in case there is some question, Brandee, you scored some points with me.

Seems like a lot of people need to learn how to spell discretion around these parts.

[LickHer]

Originally Posted by addict

Like anybody gives a fuck about what you have to say.

Like I give a F about you and what you say... You merely show what an immature ASSHOLE you are with comments like that. Grow up. This is NOT a board for personal attack. If you have a relevant comment on a TOPIC, make it. If not, keep your snarky stupid personal attacks to yourself.

And you keep yours. Name calling, insults and rudeness are not welcome here.
This is also way off thrack.
That goes for both of you
Torito

[The Proper Stranger]

Discretion is one of the cornerstones of this little world. Any lady who doesn't realize that is either new/young and naive, a moron, or willfully putting her clients at risk. And by new/young, I don't mean in her 30s and at this job for most of her adult life (i.e. older than me and more experienced in the hobby).

"Times are changing" is not an excuse; just because something's become more common doesn't make it smart or good business practice. Making every detail of your life and every stupid thing you do public domain on the internet has become fairly common in the real world, but still gets people fired, divorced, and arrested. Similarly, even if throwing discretion to the wind is becoming common in the hobby, it can still ruin lives, kill relationships, and generally fuck up a person's day.

Don't make the contents of private communications public without a damn good reason (like threats of violence). Don't post definitive information about what you have or will do with a client, including the fact that you've seen him, unless he cops to it first. Don't initiate phone contact, call back only, without prior approval. Don't be dumb in public. Assume his SO is watching anything even semi-public he hasn't explicitly or implicitly OK'd you to use when talking about him. Leave plausible deniability, so that when he does get confronted by an angry provider/SO/what have you, he's got at least one leg to stand on. Act like we've all got no review policies by default.

[LickHer]

Originally Posted by The Proper Stranger

Discretion is one of the cornerstones of this little world. Any lady who doesn't realize that is either new/young and naive, a moron, or willfully putting her clients at risk. And by new/young, I don't mean in her 30s and at this job for most of her adult life (i.e. older than me and more experienced in the hobby).

"Times are changing" is not an excuse; just because something's become more common doesn't make it smart or good business practice. Making every detail of your life and every stupid thing you do public domain on the internet has become fairly common in the real world, but still gets people fired, divorced, and arrested. Similarly, even if throwing discretion to the wind is becoming common in the hobby, it can still ruin lives, kill relationships, and generally fuck up a person's day.

Don't make the contents of private communications public without a damn good reason (like threats of violence). Don't post definitive information about what you have or will do with a client, including the fact that you've seen him, unless he cops to it first. Don't initiate phone contact, call back only, without prior approval. Don't be dumb in public. Assume his SO is watching anything even semi-public he hasn't explicitly or implicitly OK'd you to use when talking about him. Leave plausible deniability, so that when he does get confronted by an angry provider/SO/what have you, he's got at least one leg to stand on. Act like we've all got no review policies by default.

BRAVO! Astute and well said.

[Guest071613-2]

Originally Posted by The Proper Stranger

Discretion is one of the cornerstones of this little world. Any lady who doesn't realize that is either new/young and naive, a moron, or willfully putting her clients at risk. And by new/young, I don't mean in her 30s and at this job for most of her adult life (i.e. older than me and more experienced in the hobby).

"Times are changing" is not an excuse; just because something's become more common doesn't make it smart or good business practice. Making every detail of your life and every stupid thing you do public domain on the internet has become fairly common in the real world, but still gets people fired, divorced, and arrested. Similarly, even if throwing discretion to the wind is becoming common in the hobby, it can still ruin lives, kill relationships, and generally fuck up a person's day.

Don't make the contents of private communications public without a damn good reason (like threats of violence). Don't post definitive information about what you have or will do with a client, including the fact that you've seen him, unless he cops to it first. Don't initiate phone contact, call back only, without prior approval. Don't be dumb in public. Assume his SO is watching anything even semi-public he hasn't explicitly or implicitly OK'd you to use when talking about him. Leave plausible deniability, so that when he does get confronted by an angry provider/SO/what have you, he's got at least one leg to stand on. Act like we've all got no review policies by default.

THIS. Especially the 1st few sentences

[Guest071613-2]

Originally Posted by Brandee69

Miss Priss u know u really do come off as being a" lil cunty" as somebody stated previously you are coming off as a bully yourself there is no sense in outting Dannie or yourself over a general question if you thought this was about you maybe you couldve taken it to her in private....The Op has never mentioned your name and why on earth would you think this is about you considering you do not even do full-service or L2?...And how could you have stolen her man? I really just think you need to sit back and chill out this thread could've been about any one of us....Good thread Dannie i think it should be practiced more in the hobby...if we were suppose to do reviews it would be put in a forum for others to see just like the guys have for us......

Thank you, Brandee. We don't always agree, but I respect you for calling out bullshit when you see it. I had a legit question and post, and it was derailed by crazy.

Thank you for the kind words.

[Chevalier]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalDannie

It seems the consensus is, discretion matters. That's refreshing!

Ah, but "discretion" is such a broad concept and different aspects may be treated differently.

Potential to out another in real life, i.e., provide information that would help link "Provider" or "Hobbyist" to a real life name. Hey, virtually nobody disagrees -- with certain exceptions we don't want to discuss. Screening information that consists of real world info? Absolutely, keep it confidential. I suppose you can make a case for identifying a specific time that an appointment was made, although that may be either: (a) edging into paranoia; or (b) just a small amount of evidence for an SO who is already suspicious based on far greater accumulated evidence. I mean, come on. My secretary is going to browse ECCIE, see a reference to a morning appointment with "Chevalier," and think "gee, my boss Joe XXXX said he had an out-of-the-office appointment that morning, and out of all the tens of thousands of men in Dallas who also were unaccounted for that morning, Joe XXXX must be the one who calls himself "Chevalier"? Extremely unlikely unless she already has a lot of other evidence to suspect me not just of P4P but of being "Chevalier." But, sure, it's best not to be specific about when that appointment was. Although I think most of the "indiscreet" comments are not that specific.

Sharing private conversation, intended to be kept confidential: Sure. I'm a purist about sharing ML or {PRIVATE} information with those who don't have access. And if I say something BCD that obviously was not intended to be shared with others, let's be discreet about that as well. But 98% of what I say BCD I don't care about her sharing with others; I prefer listening (and, ummm, other activities) or talking about non-sensitive topics more than gossiping. And for the other 2%, to my knowledge, it's never been shared publicly or privately. It's usually very obvious if it might fall within the 2%. For that matter, the other 98% is virtually never shared publicly or privately. I can think offhand of one example, though. Many years ago, Jennifer Tyler publicly posted that she and I had discussed movies during an appointment and she had made recommendations. Gasp!!!!! The horror!!!!!

Letting the P4P community know that you saw Provider A or Hobbyist B: What is this? Shame? You're seeing someone of whom you'd be ashamed if someone knew you saw her? I suppose this happens, but I suspect it's not all that common. At least, judging from my experience. I'm trying really hard to think of someone I'd fucked and of whom I'd be ashamed if ECCIE members knew. Haven't succeeded in thinking of anyone yet.

This also makes me wonder: how does Provider A or Hobbyist B feel about this if you tell her/him "I don't want people to know I fucked you" with an implied "because I don't want people to think I'm that desperate or perverted."

As long as you don't publicly share embarrassing personal characteristics, I don't care if people know I fucked you.

Letting Provider A know that you saw Provider B: Well, several people have brought this up, so I guess jealousy and cock-blocking exist. But it still surprises me that guys would worry this much about that. Most guys who post here seem to take the position that jealousy and cock-blocking are bad, the ladies shouldn't engage in either, and we're damned if we're going to submit to either one. In fact, most guys who discuss the topic here seem to take the position that we should stop seeing any lady who was jealous of others we saw or tried to prevent us from seeing someone else. For me personally, if Provider A gets jealous or won't see me if I see Provider B . . . that's life. I can sure as hell live without seeing Provider A. And will if I get an implied ultimatum.

Letting Provider A, who's in a committed relationship with Hobbyist, know that he saw Provider B: Yeah, if I were that guy, I wouldn't want anyone to know. Just like I wouldn't want my wife to know about P4P. But this one surprises me a little bit, too. In the first place, I think it's much less common than the other varieties of "indiscreet." More importantly, while Hobbyist wants to keep it a secret, one might expect Provider A would want to know. Well, either it's OK with her (and she doesn't care whether she knows or not) or it's not (in which case I might expect that she would want to know about the betrayal). What's the real violation -- Provider B fucking Hobbyist behind Provider A's back, or Provider B letting Provider A know about it after the fact? If it's the fucking itself, well, that's probably not just Provider B's fault, is it? Few providers actually rape unwilling hobbyists. And it was Hobbyist, not Provider B, who made the commitment to Provider A.

I've never been in such a committed P4P relationship with a provider. If I were, and saw someone else, well, it's my own damned fault if people find out. I would expect to be found somewhere dead or at least missing a few key body parts.

Cold calling a guy for another appointment: If through a medium that risks exposure to others (phone, perhaps a work email address), sure, that's indiscreet and should not be done. That's one reason everyone suggests getting a hobby phone and a hobby email. But if it doesn't inherently raise the risk of disclosure to real world family, friends or co-workers -- it may really suck as a marketing approach, irritate clients, and lose business, but it is not a problemn with "discretion."

---------------

So, personally, I certainly don't want real life outtable information to be shared publicly or privately. And obviously confidential things I say BCD or in a PM? Let's keep that between us as well. Don't call me (as opposed to email or PM) unless you're sure it's a hobby phone. Everything else, I don't give a shit. If I had an appointment with someone and didn't write a review of her (most of the time the past few years), I don't expect that she will tell people about it . . . but I don't care if she does.

For some people, it's more important than it is for me. And that's fine. A lady can decide how to balance (a) positive consequences from the marketing aspect of publicly flirting, against (b) negative consequences from (slight?) indiscretions. But from what I've observed here over many years, and despite most of the comments on this thread [since the design of the thread and self-selection make those who agree with Dannie more likely to respond than contrarians like me], I suspect (a) is much stronger than (b).

If I'm wrong, and enough people consider it important, behavior will change without any need for threads like this. Just like so many other aspects of P4P.

If it hasn't changed, or has gotten worse, perhaps there's not as much of a consensus as one might think.

[Luke Skywalker]

Originally Posted by misspriss

Dannie used a quote of mine in her signature line, what the hell for? Obviously it was a passive/aggressive move for what? If you want to get to me, grow up - you are WAY older than me, act your age. Ask so and so for my number, call me. Stop using the board.

Since no one will say it, I'll say it - she was talking about Tara and I'm not one to White Knight anyone but the men do it ... So, stop picking on Tara. She's a nice, beautiful, YOUNG, girl - you were her 15 yrs ago - let it go and let her live her life. It has nothing to do with you.

You started this post to start sh&t, just like you put my name in the signature line. You want to bully someone? Bully me, you've met your match and I'm not having it.

Who I see or what I write should be no ones concern. It's not that serious, really.

In the future, if anyone has any bone to pick - PM that person, call them.

BTW, I don't think you can afford leon.

Leon, sweetheart - when are we meeting?

You appear to not like the bully subject, Unless you are the bully, like here against
Tara, like before against Brigitte or Kelsey.

I think as you self-described yourself as be bullied person, you are probably just an overweight woman with a frustration.

Weather my guess is right or wrong, I don't give a fuck.

By the way, I don't think you can afford Leon. Just another guess.