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02-07-2011, 01:52 AM
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#46
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Nov 20, 2010
Location: Austin
Posts: 370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor
So by the virtue of combination of being on your arm and being a woman, she is not to be held accountable for her actions, the least of which would be being called an appropriate name for anything she might have done? It might be more appropriate to make the disclaimer that a woman on your arm is unlikely to be deserving of such treatment because of the choices you make in companions.
While I do agree that such behavior would be unacceptable under normal circumstances, I disagree that it is inexplicable. There could be a number of reasons for this behavior, not all just to provoke a fight. That said, anyone who does this should be prepared for the response you seem obligated to deliver.
I'm sure most of us have learned that there are people who see reason in just about anything to fight over. I have also found that people who tend to escalate exchange of words to "lessons in good manners" tend to lack the necessary tools for the previous.
I will give you an example. Years ago, while I was living in a city that is not known for being progressive, I had a woman walk by me, utter racial slurs, then push my drink over on my table toward me. I had no prior interactions with said woman, and could see no reason other than that I was in a club that I was the only exception to the homogeneous racial make up of its customers. I walked up to her table and told her that she is an ignorant bitch.. If the man she was sitting with had asked, I would have explained the situation. If he had engaged me as you would have, I was ready for that as well. If you think my behavior in this instance was unacceptable, maybe we'll just have to agree to disagree on what we consider acceptable.
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Rand Al'Thor,
I'll think you'll find if you read the previous posts and discussion, we were speaking of respect for women in general regardless of their profession. I even made the comment that "if a woman starts throwing around profanity, then a door has been opened" or something close to that.
Whispers had me going for a moment in our exchange on his views which I responded to. He has since explained that he does not act or carry himself that way in public. My point leaned more toward respect in general and for the woman I'm with in particular. In your situation, it's clear the woman deserved what she got and in all honesty, had you approached my table and informed me what she said, I would have asked the woman if this was true. If I thought it was, I would have apologized to you. Then again, I doubt I'd associate or hang out with a woman like that in the first place who threw around racial slurs and behaved in such an ignorant fashion.
I don't think Davidsmith nor I wanted to give the impression that we'll fight anywhere, anytime over anything. I think our points were that if we're with a woman in public or in a social setting, if we are conducting ourselves respectfully, then we should be treated as such. If someone should disrespect the woman I'm with at a social simply based on her profession, her weight, looks etc, I'd have issues with that person. Plain and simple.
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02-07-2011, 03:18 AM
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#47
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Super Member
Join Date: Apr 26, 2010
Location: Austin
Posts: 3,492
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DTorchia
Rand Al'Thor,
I'll think you'll find if you read the previous posts and discussion, we were speaking of respect for women in general regardless of their profession. I even made the comment that "if a woman starts throwing around profanity, then a door has been opened" or something close to that.
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I saw your post and understood that you made room for exceptions. However, I read DavidSmith's post differently.
Quote:
Whispers had me going for a moment in our exchange on his views which I responded to. He has since explained that he does not act or carry himself that way in public. My point leaned more toward respect in general and for the woman I'm with in particular.
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I also understood this intent in your post, as I also mentioned in my reply that I would find such behavior unacceptable under normal circumstances.
Quote:
In your situation, it's clear the woman deserved what she got and in all honesty, had you approached my table and informed me what she said, I would have asked the woman if this was true. If I thought it was, I would have apologized to you. Then again, I doubt I'd associate or hang out with a woman like that in the first place who threw around racial slurs and behaved in such an ignorant fashion.
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Which is why I thought maybe David would have been better served by the qualification that the choice he makes in companionship would make it (very) unlikely that such term would be appropriate.
Quote:
I don't think Davidsmith nor I wanted to give the impression that we'll fight anywhere, anytime over anything. I think our points were that if we're with a woman in public or in a social setting, if we are conducting ourselves respectfully, then we should be treated as such. If someone should disrespect the woman I'm with at a social simply based on her profession, her weight, looks etc, I'd have issues with that person. Plain and simple.
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Also understood. The difference I saw between your post and DavidSmith's was that he made no exception for the woman's behavior. " It's no different than if a man called any woman on my arm ugly, or fat, or a bitch, or any other such statement, regardless of whether or not the statement were accurate. It would be uncalled for, and frankly, inexplicable except from someone trying to provoke a fight." I took this to mean that even if she is a bitch, calling her such would be uncalled for. If I misunderstood, then my mistake.
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02-07-2011, 06:11 AM
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#48
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Aug 1, 2010
Location: within a large neighborhood of Austin
Posts: 352
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I will clarify that I was not talking about provocation. If a woman on my arm is provoking the comment, so be it. I guess the word 'bitch' leads to an inference of provocation, or at least the possibility. So let's go back to 'whore'.
Read the original quote. Provocation was not mentioned. I maintain that walking up to a couple, and calling the woman a whore, unprovoked, is unacceptable behavior, and most unwise.
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02-07-2011, 07:55 AM
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#49
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Super Member
Join Date: Apr 26, 2010
Location: Austin
Posts: 3,492
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I misunderstood then, and agreed that in normal situations, such behavior would be strange and not acceptable.
Sorry, I'm used to men on here "standing for providers (and women)" beyond the point of reasonable.
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02-07-2011, 08:17 AM
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#50
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Hope I haven't bored you!
Join Date: Apr 30, 2009
Location:
Posts: 19,456
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidsmith0123
I will clarify that I was not talking about provocation. If a woman on my arm is provoking the comment, so be it. I guess the word 'bitch' leads to an inference of provocation, or at least the possibility. So let's go back to 'whore'.
Read the original quote. Provocation was not mentioned. I maintain that walking up to a couple, and calling the woman a whore, unprovoked, is unacceptable behavior, and most unwise.
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One of the problems with some of yours and torchs scenarios is you are talking about women in general where as this is NOT a Social Networking but IS a site based on the world's oldest profession.
So consider and remember that any comments based on women here are targeted against women that are prostituting themselves. NOT women in general.
And were it not for information exchange/review sites you would never have a clue as to which of these ladies are sweet with wonderful personalities vs which are psycho mind altered crazies.....
You will find many more with issues than any other slice of females in society.
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02-07-2011, 08:36 AM
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#51
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Nov 20, 2010
Location: Austin
Posts: 370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whispers
One of the problems with some of yours and torchs scenarios is you are talking about women in general where as this is NOT a Social Networking but IS a site based on the world's oldest profession.
So consider and remember that any comments based on women here are targeted against women that are prostituting themselves. NOT women in general.
Hmmm, well on one hand you've made the point in threads that you never attack them personally but usually criticize their "business". So then why would what they "do" profession wise have any bearing on calling them names? I personally find the name "whore" to be unattractive and somewhat insulting. There's a reason they are usually referred to as providers here so why would that change when you see them or you disagree with them? Maybe I'm not following you here.
And were it not for information exchange/review sites you would never have a clue as to which of these ladies are sweet with wonderful personalities vs which are psycho mind altered crazies.....
You will find many more with issues than any other slice of females in society.
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Hmmm, a few years back I would have sworn that flight attendants held that distinction. A wise man once told me (about flight attendants) that if they're over 30 and single...there's a reason I found that to be true based on my experiences.
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