How to "break up" with a client?

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

. He became a client of mine for several months, until she hit a low in income and wanted him back.

There it is in a nut shell folks....they are trading us like a farmer trades eggs!

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

. As smitten as he was with her, he was still interested in getting together with me.

Nic, IMHO the man was not smitten with his lady friend. When I am smitten, I do not fuc around with my friend's friends.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by Eliza

1. I come clean and tell him the situation and ask him to either respectfully understand why I must end our dates, or ask him to keep quiet and continue our dates. He seems like a fairly trustworthy person, but there is always that little seed of doubt in the back of my mind! What if it accidentally slips out in the midst of conversation?

I think this is your winner -- without naming names.

The problem with the "falling in love" angle is that he may want to reciprocate. Do you want to go that way?

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by WTF

There it is in a nut shell folks....they are trading us like a farmer trades eggs!

Nic, IMHO the man was not smitten with his lady friend. When I am smitten, I do not fuc around with my friend's friends.

WTF, since you didn't like the word "smitten" let me explain. OK, he was obsessed and starting to stalk her. He wrote to her charities and OUTED her. He got jealous if she saw any other clients. She pawned him off on me to get rid of him. He wasn't as crazy about me or as crazy with me, so I was fine. And when money got low for her and she took him back. He got crazy with her again, this time physically hurting her and a lot of drama unfolded. But, smitten was a simpler explanation.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

WTF, since you didn't like the word "smitten" let me explain. OK, he was obsessed and starting to stalk her. He wrote to her charities and OUTED her. He got jealous if she saw any other clients. She pawned him off on me to get rid of him. He wasn't as crazy about me or as crazy with me, so I was fine. And when money got low for her and she took him back. He got crazy with her again, this time physically hurting her and a lot of drama unfolded. But, smitten was a simpler explanation.

It's not with explainig yourself to someone who nitpicks you with criticism. I'm sure he was smitten with yoiu, I certainly am

[Happy Diver]

I'd consider moving. It sounds like this is something that will happen again and again over time.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

WTF, since you didn't like the word "smitten" let me explain. OK, he was obsessed and starting to stalk her. He wrote to her charities and OUTED her. He got jealous if she saw any other clients. She pawned him off on me to get rid of him. He wasn't as crazy about me or as crazy with me, so I was fine. And when money got low for her and she took him back. He got crazy with her again, this time physically hurting her and a lot of drama unfolded. But, smitten was a simpler explanation.

I did not say I did not like the word smitten. I explained what it meabnt to me. That is how the internet works. You write something...I write something and then if there is any question we respectfully continue to write until we clear any misconception up.

Now back on point.... you took a stalker/outter off your friends hands. That was very nice of you. You are very brave. I do not think I would have done that. She took him back? Money is a strong aphrodisiac.

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

It's not with explainig yourself to someone who nitpicks you with criticism.

Would YOU quit nit picking ME or is that another double standard?

[Guest050715-1]

Originally Posted by John Bull

If you tell him your situation, I guarantee that he will brag to some other friend about his "conquest".
Do the "I may be falling for you" routine and stick to it no matter how much he pleads.

He’s right. Right about the conquest and right about the falling in love excuse. Unless of course, he’s falling for you. Yikes!

[guest041110]

Let me pose something to this group that are writing that honesty is the best policy by showing all your cards or some facsimile thereof. This is a hypothetical reverse scenario to consider:

For argument sake, say a hobbyist had been involved with a couple of providers in more than a P4P way and had developed romantic relationships beyond this world but at different times with the escorts in question. For whatever reason, those out of hobby relationships failed and the escorts had a lot of animosity about the failures to the point that the escorts decided to collude with each other and as well as with others within the demimonde world whereby they got revenge by outing the hobbyist to the hobby world and claiming that he was stalking them and a danger to their lives. As you can imagine things go from bad to worse in short order and everybody has their panties and briefs in a wad. Now move forward in time a couple of years with the situation not having being resolved between all parties involved but the escorts find themselves on a new board, for any number of reasons, with the hobbyist that they outed and lied about staring them in the face. One of the escorts blinks and decides she wants to be “friends” with the hobbyist they had previously lied about.

The primary question is would anyone here accept the friendship “gesture” from the escort who had outed the hobbyist, if they were the gentleman in question, while the escort in question made no attempt to rectify her past bad behavior? Would anyone be interested in anything remotely close to this escort if she not only did not admit to her mistakes but also made no attempt at removing any outed information from wherever it might be posted? How about if that escort wanted to meet for a “lunch” to discuss matters, would you? Keep in mind that this escort who wanted the contact may very well have been truthful in her mind about her intentions but she was in such denial about all that had happened that she did not believe she did anything wrong to begin with. Does that mean her self-initiated contact to the former “stalker” and danger to “her life” is honest from her perspective or is she just casting a net in order to reel in the former lover so she and the other escorts in question can set a trap thereby enabling them to do more damage?

My point to the above is to show you how deception, lying or any number of other words that convey the same meaning such as bearing false witness against others can harm everyone, even yourself, since once you open that Pandora’s Box, woe is yours. Unless you are in love with someone, don’t ever tell them that because that is playing them and being cruel with their emotions. Besides it is just plain wrong to do that, period.

Deception sets the stage for disbelief even when the one who made a mistake comes back to say I want to be your friend. When one is wronged the person who does the wrong can only resolve it when they make it clear that they made a mistake and ask for forgiveness. In this demimonde world, that rarely happens. That is why I posted what I did about Colette’s misdirection because it allows Eliza to be honest with her guy, to a point, while preserving integrity for both. An absolutely honest approach is to do what others have said and trust the other completely however, as I postulated in my hypothetical scenario, trust is something that has to be earned and once lost, it is almost impossible to regain. It is pure fantasy to think anyone is trustable in this world when you are having a sexual relationship with them and you don’t know them in the real world. Both sides become vulnerable if you think you have trust while both sides do not have equal skin in the game since the consequences are not equal for both.

If I were Eliza and I was trying to find a solution to this specific predicament, I would not trust anyone in this world with my personal information where my family might get dragged into this realm and I could be outed to them. I believe using another provider with a cover story is the best of all solutions since it maintains face for both sides while it gives a winning solution since the gentleman gets another playmate and it is gracious by giving a cloak of plausible deniability to the young lady in question thereby maintaining some semblance of integrity. Do not make the mistake of having trust in this realm that crosses over into the real world as I made that mistake and it cost me dearly.

My point to this post is that trust and family do not belong here. Protect your family, and yourself, with everything you have otherwise you just might live where you are cyber-stalked, outed or worse, like having people try to get others to kill you.

[Hercules]

Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

The easiest and kindest solution is an explanation that is truthful, but that leaves out the messy details. Simply tell him you regret that you have realized that you are no longer compatible, and stop seeing him. Refer him to another lady if he asks, and then cease all contact. Permanently. Even if he begs. Remember that it's something you're doing to protect BOTH of you.

Listen to this lady.

"I must stop seeing you due to personal reasons. But I will happily refer you to any lady you are interested in. Please respect my decision as it was very hard to make."

Then go "poof" and never contact him again.

[travelling_man]

Originally Posted by LonesomeDove

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]
For argument sake, say a hobbyist had been involved with a couple of providers in more than a P4P way and had developed romantic relationships beyond this world but at different times with the escorts in question. For whatever reason, those out of hobby relationships failed and the escorts had a lot of animosity about the failures to the point that the escorts decided to collude with each other and as well as with others within the demimonde world whereby they got revenge by outing the hobbyist to the hobby world and claiming that he was stalking them and a danger to their lives. As you can imagine things go from bad to worse in short order and everybody has their panties and briefs in a wad. Now move forward in time a couple of years with the situation not having being resolved between all parties involved but the escorts find themselves on a new board, for any number of reasons, with the hobbyist that they outed and lied about staring them in the face. One of the escorts blinks and decides she wants to be “friends” with the hobbyist they had previously lied about.

The primary question is would anyone here accept the friendship “gesture” from the escort who had outed the hobbyist, if they were the gentleman in question, while the escort in question made no attempt to rectify her past bad behavior? Would anyone be interested in anything remotely close to this escort if she not only did not admit to her mistakes but also made no attempt at removing any outed information from wherever it might be posted? How about if that escort wanted to meet for a “lunch” to discuss matters, would you? Keep in mind that this escort who wanted the contact may very well have been truthful in her mind about her intentions but she was in such denial about all that had happened that she did not believe she did anything wrong to begin with. Does that mean her self-initiated contact to the former “stalker” and danger to “her life” is honest from her perspective or is she just casting a net in order to reel in the former lover so she and the other escorts in question can set a trap thereby enabling them to do more damage?

Sounds like a good topic for a new thread.

About this guy - don't assume he's stupid. If you blatantly lie to him he'll see through it and be resentful. Now he has leverage to use against you. Honesty without details is the only way to go.

[Jake2.1]

I know that even if one of my ATF's came to me and said, I need to drop you for personal or even professional reasons. I might not like it but I wouldn't get all emotive or stalker. If this were a "real" relationship, then there wouldn't be a fee involved. If I truly cared for her, I would do as asked, not needing details.

One of the main reasons to go to a professional is to take all of that messy relationship stuff out of the equation. That is why my suggestion was telling him the absolute minimal, keeping it vague. Not a lie, just not the details. They are really none of his business. If he can't handle this, how in the world could he handle a "real" breakup or even being told to fly a kite at a bar.

If he was truly looking for a committed relationship with her he wouldn't be paying for her companionship.

There is a proverb - A fool is known by his many words. IMO there is nothing wrong with not telling all that you know. A lie is telling a falsehood. Not telling all that you know is not lying. So saying that you are having personal issues or even professional issues and leaving it at that, is an absolute truth. Saying that you are in love or your numbers were stolen or that you are going UTR for a while is not the truth.

[Rudyard K]

I agree with those who say just tell him you can't see him anymore and leave it at that. All the other made up excuses can lead down roads that you might have to back up on. If he asks why, just tell him there are personal reasons and you would appreciate it if he would not ask any further.

I don't agree that the truth is a good idea. I think many of us assume that everyone who engages in this hobby is as "proffesional" at it as we are who are active on these boards...and not everyone is. Keep it simple...short...don't make anything up...lay it on persoanl reasons...and ask that he honor your request. I think most men, of the right stuff, will do so.

[Cumandgitit]

Lonesome Dove,

If you are indeed a man and that is you in your avatar, ole Cumandgitit is considering a change in his sexual orientation!!








The faint of heart never f*cked the upstairs maid!!

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Cumandgitit

Lonesome Dove,

If you are indeed a man and that is you in your avatar, ole Cumandgitit is considering a change in his sexual orientation!!

Think of how silly that is going to look when he changes it to a picture of a goat!!

[guest041110]

Shooew pig! Yer sure look nice cumandgetit!

Me



AND some of my very close friends



thought we'd trick someone but Come to papa biig boi...
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V -> Wait for it.
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V-> Almost there...
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V

The Dove does not roll that way but thanks for the compliment on my avatar. She is a lovely and very nice to look upon. If you want one like her, PM me. I am 100% male and only interested in the feminine form.

By the way, this post was totally off topic and poking fun at someone who would never get the joke I was making at her words to me.