Thoughts on Domme's who offer Full Service?

[MistressToriLynn]

And with that said though I admit I have provided and have no hard feelings for providers. I see it kind of like this. I have also been a dancer, and the Ladies who performed in the VIP areas in activities like BBBJ etc make it extremely difficult for me to earn a living doing lap dances. Same thing here. So if You want to be a Provider who offers BDSM fetishes fine, I did it. But If You cross the line, that goes from Pro Domme to Provider and most will walk away or get offended if You suggest more and quickly correct the issue. But I am one person, Have been lifestyle many years and know MOST Pro Domme's don't partake in sex.

[Krunkman]

Originally Posted by MistressToriLynn

And with that said though I admit I have provided and have no hard feelings for providers. I see it kind of like this. I have also been a dancer, and the Ladies who performed in the VIP areas in activities like BBBJ etc make it extremely difficult for me to earn a living doing lap dances. Same thing here. So if You want to be a Provider who offers BDSM fetishes fine, I did it. But If You cross the line, that goes from Pro Domme to Provider and most will walk away or get offended if You suggest more and quickly correct the issue. But I am one person, Have been lifestyle many years and know MOST Pro Domme's don't partake in sex.

My experiences have been the same. Most pro's don't offer penetration (of them) or blowjobs. But beyond that I've seen the gamut - footjobs, handjobs, strapon, body worship (but usually not genitals), etc. It's all sexual, but their are usually specific lines that won't get crossed (for the reasons you cited and more).

My argument is that real and fake dommes shouldn't be decided based upon if the domme involved offers sexual services. Both can be equally talented and wonderful domme's. It always should be consensual based upon the two people. Obviously when you contract with a sexual provider, there is the expectation of sexual services. When you contract with a domme, you are looking for domination services. But nothing says two consenting people can't cross those lines if they so choose. And if they do, there shouldn't be scarlett letter's awaiting them...

The thing that bothers me the most in this is how those who do/may engage in sex are looked down upon by those who don't. In general the lifestyle is already portrayed in a bad light, and for those who are in it to continue and perpetuate such a view is just sad to me.

[Out_of_Bounds]

You are right. For such doms to be ostrisized is sad. It really boils down to what the client wants and what the provider is willing to do. Seeing this schism has been educational to me so when I seek an escort/ dom out I will know to be discreet. A pact of mutual silence if you will. That being said anyone who knows of such a lady in Houston may PM me with their suggestions/ proposal. And it will truly stay BCD.

[MistressToriLynn]

Originally Posted by Krunkman

My experiences have been the same. Most pro's don't offer penetration (of them) or blowjobs. But beyond that I've seen the gamut - footjobs, handjobs, strapon, body worship (but usually not genitals), etc. It's all sexual, but their are usually specific lines that won't get crossed (for the reasons you cited and more).

My argument is that real and fake dommes shouldn't be decided based upon if the domme involved offers sexual services. Both can be equally talented and wonderful domme's. It always should be consensual based upon the two people. Obviously when you contract with a sexual provider, there is the expectation of sexual services. When you contract with a domme, you are looking for domination services. But nothing says two consenting people can't cross those lines if they so choose. And if they do, there shouldn't be scarlett letter's awaiting them...

The thing that bothers me the most in this is how those who do/may engage in sex are looked down upon by those who don't. In general the lifestyle is already portrayed in a bad light, and for those who are in it to continue and perpetuate such a view is just sad to me.

I think the difference here is all in the tittles and what to expect as such. A provider You know what Your getting in and what to expect where a Domme You put Yourself at her mercy. I also know for fact most Dommes dont go all the way . It is what it is. It isnt so much judgment as in a difference of jobs. Provider is one thing and offers certain things where a Domme is that getting paid to dominate.

And again I am not casting judgment here. I would say that if I were having intercourse and Dominating a sub and taking their $ it would be on a personal basis and be considered financial domination and would have to form a lasting relationship first. Not for me, I go in render my victim helpless go directly to his fantasy and send him home. Everything very much on the level. I think its good to be open and honest about what services You provide and whats expected.

Some simply are not a good match period. I dont offer strap on play. Im not afraid, I have vibrators and prostate massagers, Yet Im all female and all find it out of My realm . Strange ? Maybe but to each their own. You can be a Domme and not offer everything Yet once You do standardize a full menu that makes You a provider.

[Krunkman]

Originally Posted by MistressToriLynn

I think the difference here is all in the tittles and what to expect as such. A provider You know what Your getting in and what to expect where a Domme You put Yourself at her mercy. I also know for fact most Dommes dont go all the way . It is what it is. It isnt so much judgment as in a difference of jobs. Provider is one thing and offers certain things where a Domme is that getting paid to dominate.

And again I am not casting judgment here. I would say that if I were having intercourse and Dominating a sub and taking their $ it would be on a personal basis and be considered financial domination and would have to form a lasting relationship first. Not for me, I go in render my victim helpless go directly to his fantasy and send him home. Everything very much on the level. I think its good to be open and honest about what services You provide and whats expected.

Some simply are not a good match period. I dont offer strap on play. Im not afraid, I have vibrators and prostate massagers, Yet Im all female and all find it out of My realm . Strange ? Maybe but to each their own. You can be a Domme and not offer everything Yet once You do standardize a full menu that makes You a provider.

Yes, I totally agree Tori... too many titles can interfere with a good conversation. All of this really boils down to what two consensual people want to do. I personally think that most pro domme's don't do sexual activities because they don't want to be known as hookers. I've seen / talked to lots of these ladies who say they have no issue with women who want to be prostitute, but there's a subtle undertone in their words (spoken and written) that leads me to believe they think the women to sell sex are lower than they are on the social totem poll.

I also know of a few dommes here locally who have provided sex to some long-time clients (traditional penetrative sex) because its something they enjoy and they feel comfortable with their submissive/slave. But it's very hush-hush. Their fear is that if it became common knowledge the domme community would shun them because they are no longer dommes, but hookers.

Domination takes many forms, and there isn't (in my opinion and experience) any one right or wrong way to do it. Everyone is going to have a different dynamic with their partner. And that dynamic may change as each person gets to know (and trust) one another after additional sessions together. I think that the roles are taken far too seriously for such a potentially emotionally deep bonding experience.

Of course, I'm a switch, and a mischevious and inventive one at that, so I dont' limit myself based upon a title. I do what feels right and comfortable with the person I'm playing with. I have some wonderful friends who have different tastes, but in the end we all agree we need to do what we all feel is right and best for ourselves.

[Guest091314]

Believe it or not...I started off as Lady Alecia, GFE was not always my thing. Haven't posted in here much, but like to stop in here from time to time.

I do not think FS should be involved in in a session, unless its "rape play" , even then I would still love my strap on. mmmmm

[Hobbyfun]

After reading this thread I was under the impression that my So and I were not having sex but it turns out she is one hell of a domme. She walks around spitting out orders, never wants penetration, denies bj, hj, daty, Greek, and the whole list, and still maintains I should be grateful on the rare occasions she does have penetration.

I have had all the domme session one person can endure for a life time.

Not making lite of domme session I personal don't get it, I don't mind a women being in charge and actually find it nice, but I would want penetration are something to truly enjoy it.

Alecia you are very close and sound interesting we need to talk and see if we can get together soon.

[Shackle]

Originally Posted by Hobbyfun

After reading this thread I was under the impression that my So and I were not having sex but it turns out she is one hell of a domme. She walks around spitting out orders, never wants penetration, denies bj, hj, daty, Greek, and the whole list, and still maintains I should be grateful on the rare occasions she does have penetration.

I have had all the domme session one person can endure for a life time.

This sounds like my SO too maybe that is why I have a mistress.