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offshoredrilling · 09-04-2011, 05:30 PM

and if it spills a bit, lick it off. I'm with that

The one on the far right would be a waste of good beer for me. One of my heads will knock it over in short order.

MC · 09-04-2011, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

and if it spills a bit, lick it off. I'm with that

The one on the far right would be a waste of good beer for me. One of my heads will knock it over in short order.

Haha both good points.

MC · 09-04-2011, 07:09 PM

Banned Sprite commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwNM5-jLoM0

Best movie of 2011? Perhaps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrDRdna-Rxg

Guest091813 · 09-07-2011, 07:08 AM

awww pooor guy....

Wife finds her husband up alone at night. She watches him wipe a tear from his eye. "What's the matter?" Husband says, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating & you were only 17?" The wife touched at his caring says "Yes I do." You remember when your father caught us in the back of my car & shoved a shotgun in my face & said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years!" I remember she replies softly. He cries "I would have gotten out today!"

Guest091813 · 09-08-2011, 01:44 PM

wife screams at her husband in the delivery room, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!", husband replies " I wanted to put it in your ass, and you said THAT would hurt!".....lmao! ctfu!!!

Guest091813 · 09-14-2011, 05:00 PM

LONGEST NERVE IN BODY? Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

Guest091813 · 09-14-2011, 05:14 PM

Do you suppose the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said...If you build it they will come?

brutusbluto · 09-14-2011, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anita germane

LONGEST NERVE IN BODY? Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

I know many people that must have a very large one of these....

NormalBob · 09-14-2011, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anita germane

Do you suppose the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said...If you build it they will come?

offshoredrilling · 09-16-2011, 04:31 PM

Bathroom Stick Man and Woman Sex - NothingToxic com

Guest091813 · 09-16-2011, 05:33 PM

Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on "washing machine".
Later in bed that night husband says, "Washing machine."
Wife replies, "Not tonight, I have a headache."
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine."
Husband replies, "To late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand."

Guest091813 · 09-16-2011, 05:34 PM

‎2 kids in a hospital outside the operating room, 1st kid asks, "What are you in here for?" 2nd kid says, "getting my tonsils out, I'm a little nervous. 1st kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, when you wake up they give you Jello & ice cream. It's a breeze." 2nd kid asks, "What are you here for?"1st kid says, "circumcision." "Whoa!", the 2nd kid replies. "Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year!!!..!!!!!!!!!!!!ouch!!!!! !!!!!

Guest091813 · 09-16-2011, 05:34 PM

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for a clue. The dad said -"Well, it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!"

offshoredrilling · 09-17-2011, 05:49 PM

Strange I found this looking for large cardboard box for mmmmm another project. ahem

Anyways it got me thinking of someone near and dear and posts in this thread a lot. Now who could that be!!!!!

Edit But we still love errr lust ya. keep posting

Tiger · 09-17-2011, 05:53 PM

What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

What's the ultimate rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."