nothing reply anything you want

[Guest091813]

I swear...some days!!!lol.....

so check this out..some folks that are totally caught up in the
"truth in advertising" (poor lil dudes)

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either

[Guest091813]

‎"You've just had your twelfth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?"
"Phil"
"But you named the last eleven phil"
"Yeah its great. I say phil go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say phil come for dinner, they all come for dinner."
"But what if you only want one of them?"
"Oh! Then I call them by their last name.

[Guest091813]

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard,but only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. but worst of all..... The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ant that bad!!! Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay, I mean day.:-

[Guest091813]

this chic know's the deal....

An 80 yr Old lady was marrying for the 4th time newspaper asked if she would mind talking about her first 3 husbands & what they did for a living. She smiled & said "My first husband was a Banker, then I married a Circus Ringmaster. Next was a Preacher & now in my 80's, a Funeral Director When asked why the 4 Men had such diverse careers. She explained"I married one for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready & 4 to go...

[Guest091813]

things I never knew..this explains alot!!!

A man sunbathes in the nude and burns his penis. His doctor tells him to dip it in a saucer of milk to ease the pain. Later his blonde wife comes home to find him with his dick in the saucer of milk. F*** me she remarks. I always wondered how you reloaded those things ;-

[offshoredrilling]

been digging deep in some BS getting self into some BS. I need a joke please and thankyou

[Tiger]

God's Gifts to Adam and Eve

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden.
He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."
Adam popped a cork. He jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. I'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be so cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please........." On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee).
Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given the ability to stand up and pee.
And so it was. And it was...well, good. "Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."

[Tiger]

Misplaced Sex Drive


A feeble old man is in his doctor's office having a check-up. The doctor finishes the check-up says to the man, "So, you seem in fine health. Any problems?"
"Yes, Doc," the old man slowly responded, "My sex drive is too high and I need it lowered."
This took the doctor quite by surprise. "You're 84 years old, and you're in fine health for a man of your age, and I know men half your age who would kill for a problem like that. So why are you complaining?"
"Well," the old man said, "I see all these sexy nurses at the home, and when I go for a walk, I see all these cute honeys all around, so that's why I'm here, Doc. I want my sex drive lowered."
Still confused, the doctor said, "I would think that at your age, you wouldn't complain about a high sex drive." "Doc," the old man said, "You don't understand. I need my sex drive lowered from here," pointing to his head, "to here," pointing between his legs.

[offshoredrilling]

yes thank you both good.

[offshoredrilling]

Ok as someone was trying to use chair as a table(not bed as in video)to eat her dinner and it is still to soon for me to review again. This will be my review of last night. But please do not use this and restart the 90 day clock. So guess
http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/most-r...ee-nsfw-133630

thanks to ninasastri for posting

nor let it count for any other thing. It just was a reminder of last night to me.

[offshoredrilling]

any one for a burger and beer?

video http://www.adweek.com/video/sexist-ads-nandos-133384
edit: its a S Africa blond joke ad. mmmm now I'm hungry Steve T's and to a bar for a drink. NB I think you would like the ad

[offshoredrilling]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=CyJyHcVFS4M

[MC]

[offshoredrilling]

the one in the middle is how I want mine served. I know a provider that would not spill a drop that way. No matter what I was doing to her from behind.

[MC]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

the one in the middle is how I want mine served. I know a provider that would not spill a drop that way. No matter what I was doing to her from behind.

I prefer the one on the left, at least from a visual standpoint.