Ever happened to you?

[blowpop]

Loaning money to friends is a great way to ruin a friendship. As CB and others have stated, better to just give them a gift, and be pleasantly surprised if you get paid back. (I'm batting about .500 both inside and outside the hobby in terms of being pleasantly surprised this way.)

Loaning money to acquaintances seems like a terrible idea. Here's why:

When considering an unsecured loan, I ask myself two simple questions: Do I trust the borrower? And do I think the borrower will have the means to pay back the loan? With most acquaintances (and hobby relationships almost always fall into this group) the first question is a crap shoot. And the second question is problematic - if someone who charges $200-500/hr is so broke that they need to borrow the equivalent of less than a day's pay, is it likely they'll start managing their money well enough to pay back the loan?

There are exceptions to this rule, of course. But they're not easy to spot. If you want to play bank, better to just give the money away.

(Of course, when a provider is asking for a loan, "How about a session, so you can earn it" is the obvious question. Very rarely will the answer instill confidence. Again, there are exceptions.)

[Lexieinhouston]

Okay, so your saying Diablo, that she just has a sudden interest and curiosity about guy's feelings about this? When she apparently doesn't need a loan herself? Because I have a few things I'm curious about, but haven't started a thread for the simple reason that I know how it would come across.

[dearhunter]

Do you need a loan?

[SexyCassandra]

Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston

I read your comments & yeah, you did point out that you think it's "tacky," thereby zeroing in on any lady who's ever asked for help, or who may in the future. I find it illuminating that you would be discussing this subject with your clients, yet still feel the need to start a threAD about it. If a gentleman offers to help someone, then why is that your any of your business? Especially, since you have no plans to ask for a loan yourself? By the way, I would much rather set up a brunch than ask for a loan, but that isn't always possible between people due to schedules/locations. Not everyone is willing or able to have a revolving door, etc.

This is similar to starting a thread asking guys how they could possibly enjoy someone who doesn't do CIM/swallow, or who only does CBJ.

~

Look I am not going to go back and forth with you b/c clearly you don't get it.
And I had such high hopes.
Just like you are untitled to feel how ever it is you feel I am entitled to my opinion.

This is the whole reason for this topic. Its called a D-I-S-C-U-T-I-O-N!!
Do you know how to have one? B/c you have me wondering. Just in case you don't know this is how a discussion works. OK
You have a topic and more than likely you will have a opinion about that topic. As will others. So you voice your opinion, others will voice theirs. If your lucky it will cause you to think. As you listen or in this case read, you get to see others points of view.
NOTE: Emotions usually effect your way of thinking. Not just now but you know, in general.
If you really want to enjoy or benefit from a discussion you might want to get yours under control. (just advice)
I could feel a certain way in the in the beginning of a discussion, and some could make a valid point or interesting comment that might spark something. And its is possible I see it another way by the end or near end of the discussion.
There is no right or wrong. That's why its called an opinion.

I love reading all the comments and I usually benefit and learn something. That or sometimes just entertained. More often then not I learn something. If you are truly bothered by the way I feel or my way of thinking. Give me a reason to change my mind. Other then "its not my business"
Give me something to think about help me out.
If you cant then I am moving on.





~[/QUOTE]

[Lexieinhouston]

"Its called a D-I-S-C-U-T-I-O-N!!"

No, it's called a discussion, ha.




~

[SexyCassandra]

Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston

"Its called a D-I-S-C-U-T-I-O-N!!"

No, it's called a discussion, ha.




~

LMFAO You might know how to spell it but I grasp the concept.

PS see thanks. I did learn something. How to spell yet another word. And your meaningless comments just found their purpose.

[BDD]

Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston

Okay, so your saying Diablo, that she just has a sudden interest and curiosity about guy's feelings about this? When she apparently doesn't need a loan herself? Because I have a few things I'm curious about, but haven't started a thread for the simple reason that I know how it would come across.

Actually Ma’am, Sexy Cassie and I were discussing this face-to-face recently … actually, I think I had my face between her assets at the time, but you get the just of what I am trying to say, i.e. we were discussing this topic in particular while sharing champagne and strawberries … and I expressed my opinion/view. She wondered if others shared a similar opinion or not and told me she was going to ping the ECCIE board to get different points of reference. That’s one of the reasons the board exists.

Reading the thread so far, it seems like people tend to fall into one of two camps.

1. Don’t do it.
2. If you do do it, don’t expect your money back. If you get it back … either in cash or trade … good for you, your expectations were exceeded.

Would I personally? How about a qualified maybe? Rule number 1 applies to more than most. Rule number 2 might apply if I actually knew you well, but this applies to less than a few.

SC, hot new avatar pic! I wonder who took that for ya?

[Diabolo]

Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston

Okay, so your saying Diablo, that she just has a sudden interest and curiosity about guy's feelings about this? When she apparently doesn't need a loan herself? Because I have a few things I'm curious about, but haven't started a thread for the simple reason that I know how it would come across.

AFAIK she doesn't need one... or at least she hasn't requested one from me and we've been in contact pretty much daily for a good while now... specially during her medical leave.

[spear88]

If a provider called me and seemed desperate for money I would probably take an assignment with her but would expect some sort of discount or else something special since she called me.

[internet_inventor2]

GIST ...... but anyways, I don't let friends or anyone borrow money. I will just give it to you if I have it and the cause is true. Yes I will get all in your business and ask what's it for and why you don't have it cause there may be a larger issue that can be fixed . Now my giving has limits and it ain't NY first rodeo. Only give money you can deal with not ever getting back.

[Lexieinhouston]

It just seems like a really odd thing to be discussing in the midst of a session, especially with your face between her "assets," ha. Why would you even bring that up?

I realize the majority of people who actually post here would not loan anyone money & I can gather that by some of their past comments. SC's motives are suspect to me for the simple fact that she has stated that she would not ask for a loan and thinks it's tacky, so it just came across to me like she was just trying to stir things up for other ladies who have found the need to ask for a loan.

Being that it's coed discussion, everyone will have an opinion, and I was expressing mine about her motives. I still find it hard to believe that anyone would be so curious about this topic that they felt the need to start a thread about it. Seems like she either A) wanted to stir things up and Amy's no longer here to do that, so she probably misses it or B) She was asking to find out which guys would be okay with it in case she needs a loan in the future.
Simple curiosity, seems unlikely to me, but I've been wrong about things in my life before, so if I am now, my apologies.

Glad you had fun BDD. :)

Originally Posted by BDD

Actually Ma’am, Sexy Cassie and I were discussing this face-to-face recently … actually, I think I had my face between her assets at the time, but you get the just of what I am trying to say, i.e. we were discussing this topic in particular while sharing champagne and strawberries … and I expressed my opinion/view. She wondered if others shared a similar opinion or not and told me she was going to ping the ECCIE board to get different points of reference. That’s one of the reasons the board exists.

Reading the thread so far, it seems like people tend to fall into one of two camps.

1. Don’t do it.
2. If you do do it, don’t expect your money back. If you get it back … either in cash or trade … good for you, your expectations were exceeded.

Would I personally? How about a qualified maybe? Rule number 1 applies to more than most. Rule number 2 might apply if I actually knew you well, but this applies to less than a few.

SC, hot new avatar pic! I wonder who took that for ya?

[ICU 812]

At one job I had a co-worker would ask to borrow ~100 every 6-8 weeks or so. I would go down the hall and pull a hundred from the credit union. He always paid it back on the next pay day, so I just let it go on . . .his business . . .

This kept up for several years and it got to wher when he paid me back, I just put it into an envelop and put that in the back of my locker. A few weeks later he would need a ":loan" and I'd give him the the money.

Not sure I'd do that in the Hobby though—never for a stripper. Bartering for a discounted future session begins to blend into a SD/SB relatinship.

[BDD]

Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston

It just seems like a really odd thing to be discussing in the midst of a session, especially with your face between her "assets," ha. Why would you even bring that up?
.
.
.
Glad you had fun BDD.

Cause that's the history behind the thread. No deep conspiracy theories apply here.

Sexy Cassie and BDD always have fun together. We are just good like that!

[SexyCassandra]

Good like that and other ways!

[BDD]

Originally Posted by SexyCassandra

Good like that and other ways!

Uh huh ... Yep ... Agreed !!!