Compliments vs Symbolism

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Laurentius

So the second booking is a serious compliment indeed. I wouldn't be there the second time if she didn't seriously impress me in a whole bunch of realms.

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Laurentius - you are most correct. In fact, it's quite flattering to hear your date mention "next time" unconsciously withing a few hours of first meeting.

I have only booked one lady twice...and the second time was a complete disappointment. I would never book her again.

As a matter of fact, my experience has been so dismal (with a few exceptions) that it is beginning to be hard to justify the expense. And before anyone piles on about me not seeing HDHs, I would point out that several threads on this board state that there is no correlation between rates and performance.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

As a matter of fact, my experience has been so dismal (with a few exceptions) that it is beginning to be hard to justify the expense. And before anyone piles on about me not seeing HDHs, I would point out that several threads on this board state that there is no correlation between rates and performance.

And there are lots of threads about YMMV...and the effect that the hobbists attitude has on milage and the enjoyment factor.

It could be that every one of the women is a terrible visit and not worth a plug nickle. Or...and I'm just spitball'n here......it could be you.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

And there are lots of threads about YMMV...and the effect that the hobbists attitude has on milage and the enjoyment factor.

It could be that every one of the women is a terrible visit and not worth a plug nickle. Or...and I'm just spitball'n here......it could be you.

Yeah, I figured I get this kind of reaction from some of the DFMs that try and curry favor. I guess it's a mistake here to not mince words.

But, RK, I see you went back to grade school and exercised you spitballing capabilities again. Nasty habit, but you don't need me to tell you that.

[pjorourke]

Jeez Chuck! You think you could be a tad more negative? I'm afraid there are one or two gals reading this that haven't been turned off yet.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

As a matter of fact, my experience has been so dismal (with a few exceptions) that it is beginning to be hard to justify the expense.

That does sound like a solution

[Doove]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

As a matter of fact, my experience has been so dismal (with a few exceptions) that it is beginning to be hard to justify the expense.

Let me be one to come to your defense Charles. To a certain extent, i can empathize. My hobbying has been very limited, but there are times where no small part of me has come away from an appointment with a sense of, for lack of a better way to put it, buyer's remorse. But not in the negative connotation one would typically infer in that only once has it been a reflection of the girl involved. And dare i say, i think the girls involved would all say the experience with me was, at the very least, pleasant.

To get into the why's and how's of my disappointments would take far more time than i have here. Just suffice it to say, not knowing more about your experiences, your dismal experiences - as you put it - don't necessarily say anything about you (at least not in the way i read into the suggestions of others) nor about the ladies involved.

[Guest053011]

Charles is like the Charlie Brown of compensated dating.

Too many women and men have had wonderful experiences to take your moaning seiously. Either you have bad taste, or you turn the women off.

[Laurentius]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I have only booked one lady twice...and the second time was a complete disappointment. I would never book her again. ... As a matter of fact, my experience has been so dismal (with a few exceptions) that it is beginning to be hard to justify the expense.

As Einstein reputedly noted; "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." If you are having dismal experiences at any price-point; something is awry and needs changed.

You are absolutely right that, at least in my experience, price in and of itself doesn't matter. But the woman *does*.

As much as we hear "it's a business" and as much as people might discuss pricing as though we are talking about a commodity like oil; the reality is that in a session it is just you alone in a room with a woman; and the qualities and compatibilities of those two people matter. Neither one is a commodity because the nature of the business integrates personality, character and intellect with physiology, emotions and sometimes even spirituality.

Maybe price doesn't matter; but about a million things about the woman (and your own expectations etc.) definitely matter.

Even among two comparably reviewed providers; no two two-person interactions will be identical. A lady who knocks the ball out of the park with me might strike out with you and vice-versa.

Other than one case; I have never had a bad session with a provider -- be it a first session or a repeat. And I have honestly found repeat sessions to be qualitatively superior.

Obviously, most hobbyist experiences lie somewhere between the extremes represented by us.

Most guys would never dream of picking providers the way I do.

My theory is that the woman is the core of whether any male-female relationship works; even if it lasts only an hour.

If a woman can connect and relate to you, it makes all the difference in the world.

Therefore, I select providers not on the basis of who I like (except for a couple of basic personality traits I prefer), but instead on the basis of who I think stands a good chance of being able to appreciate what I bring to a session. In essence, I pick providers that I think in the civie world, if I were to ask them out on a regular non-sex date, would stand a good chance of saying yes.

By putting the woman first; I create a win-win. I'm under no illusions that I'm her dream man. But I don't have to be. All I have to be is someone whose company she enjoys even in a non-sexual sense. Beyond that -- she's a professional. I've given her the right material to work with so her skills can shine. Yes, some providers can do fine even with a guy they detest in every way. But why make a lady work so hard?

The results for me have been a series of unbelievably good sessions; some so good I've wondered what in the world happened.

I am not sure how practical my approach is for other hobbyists; but it has certainly worked for me. :-)

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Charles is like the Charlie Brown of compensated dating.

Too many women and men have had wonderful experiences to take your moaning seiously. Either you have bad taste, or you turn the women off.

Rarely do I agree with Ms. Summerhill on about anything but she has a point here.

If the results are so bad, why not reevaluate your approach, both with who you see and/or your conduct during the encounter. I truly mean this constructively and with compassion.

I would give the same feedback to a sales executive that was under-performing. Doesn't mean he's a poor sales guy, just something in his approach is not working. If I knew more about baseball and was a hitting instructor I'd say the same thing. The slightest adjustment to a swing is the difference between getting sent to the Minors or making the All Star Game.

[charlestudor2005]

L--

I'm glad that works for you. I, however, try to pick ladies who get past my screening with respect to body type and activities they like. I have varied from those screening qualities only to find disaster.

If I remember correctly, L, you describe yourself as a good looking young entrepreneur. Mostly attractive qualities to most ladies.

I, on the other hand, have no illusion about my looks. I'm short, dumpy, a few extra pounds, and rather plain.

I fear the difference between us is more more "how fast can I fuck and get away from this dumpy old fart" than a desire to provide a good session, no matter what the ad claims. And it shows up in the sessions, IMHO.

Babee once said I'd never get "special treatment" during a session---even after she took part in writing a treatise that said the hobby was a business and don't expect or ask for special treatment.

And I must say, she has been right. But I think it is due more to the "slam, bam, thankyou sir" attitude that I have experienced for the most part than any thing else.

Just my .02.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Charles is like the Charlie Brown of compensated dating.

I wonder how he does at kicking footballs.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by pjorourke

I wonder how he does at kicking footballs.

About the same as I do at getting a good piece of a**. Even though I pay for it.

[Katy Alexander]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I have only booked one lady twice...and the second time was a complete disappointment. I would never book her again.

As a matter of fact, my experience has been so dismal (with a few exceptions) that it is beginning to be hard to justify the expense. And before anyone piles on about me not seeing HDHs, I would point out that several threads on this board state that there is no correlation between rates and performance.

There is nothing wrong with coming to the conclusion that this business is just not for you . I do think that it is good to experiment, and play around with different types of rates, and services just to see if you can find where your niche is in all of this ,but if you feel uncomfortable with the situation then it can make it difficult for the woman you are with to offer you a positive experience.

We do respond a great deal to the emotions of our clients. If I meet someone who is unable to trust me I know that it does affect my ability to offer him my best .I try to be as open , and trusting as I can be with the people that I meet , and I have found that most of the time the men I see do the same.This makes the time far more memorable if you have two happy idiots instead of one lol.

Overall I think you are a good person who may have a few issues with what you are doing. I hope if you do decide to continue seeing escorts that you are able to find a way to relax, and enjoy yourself.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Yeah, I figured I get this kind of reaction from some of the DFMs that try and curry favor. I guess it's a mistake here to not mince words.

I'm sorry, what is a DFM again?. It's just tough for me to keep up with your wit.

I know it might be a hard thing for you to understand Chucky...but I've met very few ladies here that take "favor"...curried or otherwise...almost exclusively they prefer cash.

And I think I might have to go hide in a corner if I repeatedly couldn't have a good time with women after I handed them a wad of cash.

But wait?...I just had an idea? Have you tried this place?

http://www.gay.com/

[Laurentius]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

If I remember correctly, L, you describe yourself as a good looking young entrepreneur. Mostly attractive qualities to most ladies.

I'm a serial entrepreneur by nature; but not particularly good-looking IMO.

I think it may be more a matter of approach; because ladies are really good at looking below the surface for qualities they might appreciate in a man.

I have a date coming up with a lady. I've rented a massage table for it. So she can massage me? No. So I can massage her. (I took a few classes in it back in the mid 90's and like to stay in practice.)

I know -- it sounds crazy. After all, I'm the guy paying. But what kind of session do you think I'm going to get after treating her to a nice lunch and a therapeutic massage?

Another lady I see fairly often; I exchange books with her on topics of mutual interest. She loves being able to talk with me about these things. I book her for 90 minutes; but the first 90 are used in conversation she appreciates and the next 90 are spent with sex.

And do I expect her to "service" me? No. I work with her to improve myself as needed to be a good lover for her. The results? Sex so mind-blowing I can't even describe it. (I can appreciate that she isn't so afraid of bruising my ego that she'll actually help me improve everything imaginable.)

I don't even worry about pictures and menu within reason. Instead, I find women who will appreciate my approach (because not all providers appreciate it), and essentially give them the best experience that I can. In exchange, I always get something fantastic. Whatever their menu happens to be, they make it good.

Think of it this way. The money doesn't buy sex. It buys opportunity. It gives you an opportunity to interact with a woman behind closed doors. Once you are behind closed doors -- that money is spent. What happens from that point onward is all up to you and her.

And while I understand it is "fee for service" -- I try to make it -- to the extent I possibly can -- mutual. Because sex is not a spectator sport. ;-)