The GFE MYTH

[Macie Madrid]

Originally Posted by Sonja

The GFE Myth, Why it doesn't Work,
for the women or the clients.

I recently had a second client in a year, write me that sad but unbelievable email, the story, of guilt. He 'cared for me' so he was leaving me. He hated to' lose me' , would like to keep me as a (never) friend, but his attachment was too great and he could not see me anymore because 'we' had become too close.
Never mind that he had been a womanizer his entire life, or that he had years long 'affairs' in his past that luckily did not affect his marriage. The recession had made him closer to his wife, who has not fucked him in years, but the guilt about me was just too much to bare, or get bare with me anymore. This is a client that in less than 3 months I will be referencing to another.
#2 client... I really LOVE YOU. I know a woman like you is perfect for ME. I understand what you do, I'm ok with it. I call you every day, because I care. You were so good to me, I have a crush on you and cannot forget about you...Please have 'real relationship' with me. It will be good I promise. This client has never asked, if I am actually IN a relationship, because that was never part of the self involved question.
#3 The Savior......You cannot do this forever, I will take you out of this business. Just get a 'real job' and we will live in peace and harmony forever. Usually Once again, my life outside the biz is not a question, never asked. This client usually has no money, but a romantic vision of me as working at a 'real job all day' and being the sexy provider he met all night.

The GFE does Not work. It is LIE, to clients and for women in the business a huge detriment. Clients have come to unreal expectations, and reviews have reflected it.
They over-stay their time, become too demanding , too intimate, then become attached, guilty and emotional. This is NOT what this is about.
Let's tell the truth here. While it may 'appear' so at any time, we are NOT in love with you. We are Actors on a particular stage. Women can gauge body language and work it on 50 different levels, while men on about 4. We are great at manipulation, making you 'feel' all the right things and pushing all those buttons, that release all those endorphins, which is WHY we are here for you. But make NO Mistakes. We rarely Fall in Love with you. We cannot, given the unwritten contract that is the business.
Women who do 'sometimes' fall in love with clients- quickly see the Error of it, since we cannot be that 'on stage' persona all the time.
It's very important that everyone understand THIS IS FANTASY. We are not your friends, and mostly, you are not ours, especially when asked to prove yourselves.
Men who start thinking we are your friends, or you are TRULY ours are deluding themselves and us, for all our detriment. Just STOP IT.
There are of course exceptions to the rule, but better to sway on the side of caution for both parties.
I believe the GFE has caused extreme HURT to the business across the board.
Its all fun, don't start believing in your heads it's MORE, because for us, it's NOT. We all need to keep it in context.

You took the words right out of my mouth honey! Since when did unprotected activities with a hooker become fun, if one more guy acts like bbbj is a must....I'm gonna scream!

[Macie Madrid]

Originally Posted by Diomidis

Guys schedule sessions with ladies they are attracted to, so for those who lack the mental maturity to differentiate a session from a date, feelings may develop.

That doesn't mean that GFE is a lie, just that a percentage of people cannot step out of the fantasy once the session is over.

Since, gfe is not a lie..see if she will do you for free. I bet ya she won't. It's a lie babe!

[Guest032514-1]

Originally Posted by JasmineCummings

.. which is why GFE will always mean Great Fucking Experience to me.

Speak On!

[Woodduck82]

It's all supposed to be about fun... not emotions.

[Biomech]

Originally Posted by Macie Madrid

Since, gfe is not a lie..see if she will do you for free. I bet ya she won't. It's a lie babe!

Yeah... that just about sums it up.

[Guest032514-1]

Originally Posted by Biomech

Yeah... that just about sums it up.

True. A lil harsh, but true.

All this does not mean that relationships do not form. Doesn't mean that I haven't met people I just actually like as people. Folks I might not ever have met in the civvie world.

There are more than a few folks I call 'friends". Will we ever sit at each other's kitchen tables' having dinner with families? No. Swap Xmas cards. No. Once you accept the parameters involved - it should be easy to "just get along". It's when people go beyond those parameters that drama occurs. Drama's bad.

This is a personal business. It's highly personal. But it's always business. There is nothing wrong with that. For me, it's actually liberating.

[kindgentleman]

Not sure I have the experience to offer an educated opinion but I felt the need to respond to this. I love strip clubs! The girls pretend to like me so that I will choose them for a dance. I know they are acting and that's what I expect to get for my money. Most of the time I don't even get a lapdance, I simply pay them to stay at my table and drink with me. See, I don't care about the sex. I have access to good free sex when ever I want it. I recently figured out that the ONLY reason I am in this hobby is for the GFE. I can understand how some people could become attached but I'm sure it's rare. What I think is the more common thing is people pretending to really be in love in order to get something out of the other person. I have seen many men and women do this outside of the hobby and see it all the time in the strip club. So I don't think GFE is a lie but I do see how it can be abused by provider and hobbyist.

[Guest041413-2]

Originally Posted by Macie Madrid

Since, gfe is not a lie..see if she will do you for free. I bet ya she won't. It's a lie babe!

We all know what we're here for. No lies there. As Diomidis stated it's when we cross the lines of emo that it takes on the complexities of 'free' sex.

Lie to me all day, just lie to me well and make me feel extra good!

I've heard this quote on a television series at the intro as well as recently on a new video game: "...the bigger the lie, the more (they) believe".

[Jackie S]

First and Foremost, this is all supposed to be fun. The problem arises when it ceases to be fun, and becomes more of a real life obligation.

I doubt any two people who are engaged in this whole "hobby thing" are any closer than my ATF and me. But there is one undeniable fact that is always omnipresent. She is a Hooker, I am a Trick. That might not sound so politically correct, but that is exactly what it is, and that is all it is.

I pay for her to tell me she thinks I am great. I pay for her to go out with me and hold my arm. I pay for her to screw my brains out. If she ever looked at me and said, "we have seen each other so many times, let's do it for nothing once", I would walk out the door.

The reason I pay for her is I dig the shit out of her. She is great to be around, she is the perfect "body type" that can get my old ass in gear and running. If someone says, 'damn, you are having to pay for it", I will say, "hell yes, and I am getting exactly what I pay for".

So what is wrong with that? Hell, I can stop calling tomorrow and it ends, because she is a profesional. She could choose to stop seeing me, and so what. I find another Lady to take her place.

And in the mean time, I am having a lot of fun.

If you are engaged in this "hobby thing" and not having fun, you need to get another "hobby".

[chrissy]

Originally Posted by Sonja

The GFE Myth, Why it doesn't Work,
for the women or the clients.

I recently had a second client in a year, write me that sad but unbelievable email, the story, of guilt. He 'cared for me' so he was leaving me. He hated to' lose me' , would like to keep me as a (never) friend, but his attachment was too great and he could not see me anymore because 'we' had become too close.
Never mind that he had been a womanizer his entire life, or that he had years long 'affairs' in his past that luckily did not affect his marriage. The recession had made him closer to his wife, who has not fucked him in years, but the guilt about me was just too much to bare, or get bare with me anymore. This is a client that in less than 3 months I will be referencing to another.
#2 client... I really LOVE YOU. I know a woman like you is perfect for ME. I understand what you do, I'm ok with it. I call you every day, because I care. You were so good to me, I have a crush on you and cannot forget about you...Please have 'real relationship' with me. It will be good I promise. This client has never asked, if I am actually IN a relationship, because that was never part of the self involved question.
#3 The Savior......You cannot do this forever, I will take you out of this business. Just get a 'real job' and we will live in peace and harmony forever. Usually Once again, my life outside the biz is not a question, never asked. This client usually has no money, but a romantic vision of me as working at a 'real job all day' and being the sexy provider he met all night.

The GFE does Not work. It is LIE, to clients and for women in the business a huge detriment. Clients have come to unreal expectations, and reviews have reflected it.
They over-stay their time, become too demanding , too intimate, then become attached, guilty and emotional. This is NOT what this is about.
Let's tell the truth here. While it may 'appear' so at any time, we are NOT in love with you. We are Actors on a particular stage. Women can gauge body language and work it on 50 different levels, while men on about 4. We are great at manipulation, making you 'feel' all the right things and pushing all those buttons, that release all those endorphins, which is WHY we are here for you. But make NO Mistakes. We rarely Fall in Love with you. We cannot, given the unwritten contract that is the business.
Women who do 'sometimes' fall in love with clients- quickly see the Error of it, since we cannot be that 'on stage' persona all the time.
It's very important that everyone understand THIS IS FANTASY. We are not your friends, and mostly, you are not ours, especially when asked to prove yourselves.
Men who start thinking we are your friends, or you are TRULY ours are deluding themselves and us, for all our detriment. Just STOP IT.
There are of course exceptions to the rule, but better to sway on the side of caution for both parties.
I believe the GFE has caused extreme HURT to the business across the board.
Its all fun, don't start believing in your heads it's MORE, because for us, it's NOT. We all need to keep it in context.

Well its about time some one put it into words and the thread didn't become another attack episode to those that do not offer GFE bbbj or porn star activities..Thank you!!

[kindgentleman]

It's like you read my mind. Perfectly said IMO!

Originally Posted by Jackie S

First and Foremost, this is all supposed to be fun. The problem arises when it ceases to be fun, and becomes more of a real life obligation.

I doubt any two people who are engaged in this whole "hobby thing" are any closer than my ATF and me. But there is one undeniable fact that is always omnipresent. She is a Hooker, I am a Trick. That might not sound so politically correct, but that is exactly what it is, and that is all it is.

I pay for her to tell me she thinks I am great. I pay for her to go out with me and hold my arm. I pay for her to screw my brains out. If she ever looked at me and said, "we have seen each other so many times, let's do it for nothing once", I would walk out the door.

The reason I pay for her is I dig the shit out of her. She is great to be around, she is the perfect "body type" that can get my old ass in gear and running. If someone says, 'damn, you are having to pay for it", I will say, "hell yes, and I am getting exactly what I pay for".

So what is wrong with that? Hell, I can stop calling tomorrow and it ends, because she is a profesional. She could choose to stop seeing me, and so what. I find another Lady to take her place.

And in the mean time, I am having a lot of fun.

If you are engaged in this "hobby thing" and not having fun, you need to get another "hobby".

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Hookerism

GFE is a sad thing. Its for those men so pathetic, they pay a hooker to pretend to be a girlfriend.

Honest truth is, she really does NOT want to kiss you. Would she kiss you for free? Umm NO!

Would a GF kiss you for free, umm Yes.

Its fantasy, but some men who are lonely or cant function in a normal social dating setting will end up falling for the act. One he paid for. then when it goes bad, he is posting BS on alert boards to ruin her.

Just get over the GFE BS, start having hard core, no BS sex. Its what you pay for. If you want a gf who is desperate, hit up pof.com

Plenty of desperate free pussy there who will kiss you losers for free

You are so competely clueless it is almost humerous.


So by implication you believe it is less pathetic to have a woman lay on the bed like a maniquin?

Do you somehow consider a provider who will kiss a guy is pathetic, but if she gives him a BJ that is somehow not pathetic? I hate to inform you but the odds of me approacing a pretty lady on the street and getting a kiss are far greater than getting a BJ. You have a pretty weird idea of what is and is not pathetic.

As to your other ignorant statement--that "hard core, no BS sex. Its what you pay for"--it may be your situation because you find impersonal sex what you enjoy, but QUIT TELLING ME WHAT I AM HERE FOR. It may be beyond your comprehension level, but a lot of us actually do expect more from an evening with a lady.

For you, I'm willing to bet most the ladies are quite willing to usher you out the door as quickly as possible. I've had many tell me that a date with someone like you is very easy--they can turn their brain off because you wouldn'yt notice if they were awake or asleep anyway. If that's what you pay for and you're happy, good for you. Go at it.

Of course "some men who are lonely or cant function in a normal social dating setting will end up falling for the act." Those that do go too far are also wrong, but most scentient guys CAN distinguish. Are you also for prohibition because some people can't drink without becoming drunk?

It's difficult arguing with some folks who just are clueless about half the argument. Odd how those of us who seek and enjoy the "GFE" dates never call "your type" pathetic--becuse we understand there are different desires--and different ladies--for different guys. Nope, in the real world one size does not fit all, no matter how hard you try to make it.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

It is a fantasy. I'd say 99% of all hobbyists know this. The 1% who don't are the weirdos or the ones with relationship issues.

Originally Posted by JasmineCummings

Its about knowing what you want and going after it. Most seasoned hobbyist know it takes more than beauty & a smile to have a great time.

Originally Posted by alluringava

My impression was that GFE was simply a fantasy...that's why it is called the Girlfriend EXPERIENCE, not the actual 'girlfriend' you'd have in every day life....of course that's the bottom line. With GFE it's conversation and all that more. When it becomes an issue is when someone ( either escort or client) wants to cross the line and wants to be a real boyfriend/girlfriend or one falls for the other and the feeling isn't mutual. But this is just all IMHO and based on my experiences. I know for a fact I'd rather be known as a GFE escort than a blow and go street ho.

Originally Posted by coolbreeze0003

Of course it's fantasy. So what? It only means I'm in love with hundreds of women for an hour at a time instead of one for weeks/months/years......

Come on, guys;... just the sex? I can have sex all by myself.

[Irish Cream]

As several have said we're paying for a fantasy (by the hour), whatever that fantasy may be. It becomes a problem when someone cannot differentiate between the fantasy and reality..

Although I'm relatively new to the Hobbying scene, I do understand that I'm just another guy walking into the incall with a dick and an envelope, and the fantasy should not interfere with the reality.

[ICU 812]

Dum-ass that I am; I once paid a $200 door-fee for an agency girl and another 2 bills for the escort in of all places, Missoula Montana. After che counted the money, she informd me that just about everything was off limites except bbbj without finish and cfs. No oral contact on my part and no real touching blah blah vlah . . . .

This is NOT GFE. For me "gfe" must include what we used to call making-out and going -ll-the-way (OK . . .I'm in my sixties). In a PFP session, I have no illusions that this is anything more than business . . .but its gotta be more than a stroke-n-poke-cash-n-dash.