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08-12-2011, 08:25 PM
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#31
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 18, 2009
Posts: 611
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl
I don't think you can afford my rates, The_Leotard.
But in case you can, I'd be happy to ram my engorged cock down your throat over and over, until the cartilaginous rings of your windpipe rubbing against my shaft make me shoot my load all down your gullet. But only for a price, you sexxxxxy thang.
But don't worry. I'm not a clock watcher. If you actually are able to meet my $$$ donation, I promise you I'll at LEAST cum twice for you. So, as soon as I get it up again (thank goodness for Viagra), it would be an honor to ream your fuzzy asshole open, even if I have to start stretching it out with an inflatable buttplug dipped in Ben-Gay (no gay/ass-sex pun intended, only mentioning it for its lubricational as well as pain-relieving properties), repeatedly inflating it and deflating it until you've been properly prepared to be willingly commercially man-raped by my Fucklaska Pipeline.
Honestly, my potential P4P lover, I'm getting a little excited at the thought of wedging the crown of my cock's head past your bunghole and then ramming it home, over and over again, pulverizing and crushing your juicy little prostate against your pubic bone with each jackhammer thrust, turning it into a bloody, mushy pulp. Why, you might be pissing blood for the rest of your life!
Oh, my nipples are getting harder than rocks just visualizing the veins on my blue steel assjammer rubbing your tissues raw, your red coppery slick blood lubricating my every pump, my wiry bristly balls passionately slapping against your taint until your little strip of man-flesh is bruised worse than some stupid inbred trailer-park trash skank that hasn't learned to cook or listen to her Neanderthal knuckle-dragger of a man (I'm sorry if that in any way brings up memories of your youth and watching your parents' relationship).
The only question at that point, really is if you want me to blow my load inside your swollen, bloody, torn rectum or do you want me to finish by going ass-to-mouth? Would you want a Dirty Sanchez? Or do you want to lick the rancid, filthy flecks of your own blood and feces off my cock until I cum in your mouth and let you swish my loathsome jizz in your mouth like fine wine before you swallow it like the nectar of the gods?
And yes, as you can guess by my prose, I am willing to do all this to you bareback. I mean, if you are willing to pay my hefty fee, which is larger than the combined GDP of 52 of the 53 countries on the African continent (54 if you have diplomatically recognized the southern portion of Sudan, South Sudan, which was recently granted sovereign status by Sudan and is in the process of receiving full recognition by the United Nations), then you deserve my ultimate PSE package. People can demonize me all they want for my willingness to risk my life, and yours. They can say, what kind of price can you place on your life? And I can say, it's in the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars. I mean, if it means I can afford to buy my own F-15s and ballistic missiles, taking a little risk is worth it. Especially when I know I'm already disease-free and I'm trusting you to be the same. You don't even have to bring any paperwork. Really, the odds are so vanishingly small and the reward so great, we'd be fools not to take the plunge.
I mean, if one can't trust a fine upstanding Christian man like yourself, who can one trust? Ted Haggard? That bisexual self-loathing hypocritical self-righteous sanctimonious cocksucking meth-head hateful bastard? Why, I'll bet he's not even in your league, Precious!
Ta-ta for now!
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Carl,
Even though we appreciate your Ad and your list of services are quite impressive I have received several RTM's to the matter that your Ad has broken almost every Provider Posting rule!!! Explicit activities and rates are not to be mentioned in any Ad.
This should serve as a warning and since you spared all of us from showing explicit PICs of your activities we shall forgive you.
Are you available later for a quick BNG??
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08-12-2011, 08:55 PM
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#32
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Hope I haven't bored you!
Join Date: Apr 30, 2009
Location:
Posts: 19,456
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CupOfJava
Are you available later for a quick BNG??
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Although he can shake it the way you like it, his ass is nowhere as big as you lke...
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08-13-2011, 01:15 AM
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#33
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 68262
Join Date: Feb 2, 2011
Location: Austin
Posts: 30
My ECCIE Reviews
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WOW now that was a RANT, good reading fun!
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08-13-2011, 01:30 AM
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#34
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 25, 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,143
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But... but ... my post was not an ad, I was just contributing to a threAD.
And at my age I don't do anything quick. I'm slower than dial-up.
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08-13-2011, 03:25 PM
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#35
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jun 17, 2011
Location: "The Danger Zone"
Posts: 369
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I guess the holy ghost hadn't made it to his row yet. Very funny shit...
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08-14-2011, 11:52 PM
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#36
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 3, 2010
Location: Clarksville
Posts: 61,234
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Nice rant, Carl. I'm just beginning to catch up on my "reading." New IPad makes ECCIE while taking a dump SO much easier than that damned desktop. Just wish the IPad had a fiber app...
Poor Leopard. He's being lynched and he's not even here to see it.
Wait a sec...
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08-16-2011, 03:31 PM
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#37
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 79094
Join Date: Apr 18, 2011
Location: Austin
Posts: 24
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY
well what gets me if Lara and Mariah dont like Eccie then move on.. there are plenty of other sites that cater to their needs... change the channel instead of pissing and moaning!!!!!!!!!!
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I did move on. about once a month I search my handle to see stupid posts like this and I check the alerts and that's it.
I didn't even announce on here that I don't like it and I'm going off the radar...again another hobbyist reporting back something I said in a session to the boards to stir up shit.
The reason I don't like this site is I'm already fucked up enough in the head by what I do. I don't need effin reviews about how I'm not good enough...humiliating reviews that detail every sexual act. It's fucked up and frankly my (psychological) health is important to me. Not for me and I don't need it. That's all I got to say Peace Out.
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08-16-2011, 04:23 PM
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#38
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Thank God it's Firday!
Join Date: Dec 12, 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lara
I did move on. about once a month I search my handle to see stupid posts like this and I check the alerts and that's it.
I didn't even announce on here that I don't like it and I'm going off the radar...again another hobbyist reporting back something I said in a session to the boards to stir up shit.
The reason I don't like this site is I'm already fucked up enough in the head by what I do. I don't need effin reviews about how I'm not good enough...humiliating reviews that detail every sexual act. It's fucked up and frankly my (psychological) health is important to me. Not for me and I don't need it. That's all I got to say Peace Out.
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Good luck, Lara.
However, the posts by nutjobs on eccie is one of its best features. You can figure out who to avoid without having to meet them face to face.
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08-16-2011, 04:41 PM
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#39
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 7, 2010
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 4,794
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lara
I did move on. about once a month I search my handle to see stupid posts like this and I check the alerts and that's it.
I didn't even announce on here that I don't like it and I'm going off the radar...again another hobbyist reporting back something I said in a session to the boards to stir up shit.
The reason I don't like this site is I'm already fucked up enough in the head by what I do. I don't need effin reviews about how I'm not good enough...humiliating reviews that detail every sexual act. It's fucked up and frankly my (psychological) health is important to me. Not for me and I don't need it. That's all I got to say Peace Out.
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good luck and have fun!!! ( :
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08-16-2011, 04:48 PM
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#40
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 79094
Join Date: Apr 18, 2011
Location: Austin
Posts: 24
My ECCIE Reviews
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thanks babe! I appreciate your attitude. I always try to have fun hehe.
xxxooo Lara
Quote:
Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY
good luck and have fun!!! ( :
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08-16-2011, 04:55 PM
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#41
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 7, 2010
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 4,794
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I was unaware the Original poster was speaking on your behalf and its not exactly how you feel..
for that I apologize.. I am not one to put words in others mouths. just my cock!! haha!!
I am not here to be your enemy.. ( :
and yes many guys post exaggerations that border on lies.... it does make it hard to figure it all out....
hell could be another Provider trying to sabotage your business who knows..
from what I have read your service and attitude are just fine!
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08-16-2011, 05:25 PM
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#42
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 22, 2011
Location: AUSTIN
Posts: 117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lara
I did move on. about once a month I search my handle to see stupid posts like this and I check the alerts and that's it.
I didn't even announce on here that I don't like it and I'm going off the radar...again another hobbyist reporting back something I said in a session to the boards to stir up shit.
The reason I don't like this site is I'm already fucked up enough in the head by what I do. I don't need effin reviews about how I'm not good enough...humiliating reviews that detail every sexual act. It's fucked up and frankly my (psychological) health is important to me. Not for me and I don't need it. That's all I got to say Peace Out.
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Not defending Lara but just saying that if you were a good looking guy and you had to have sex with fat, smelly, ugly woman all the time would that not f..k with your head too!! Just saying!! Oh and Lara you sure look fine!!
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08-16-2011, 05:37 PM
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#43
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 79094
Join Date: Apr 18, 2011
Location: Austin
Posts: 24
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FWD1
Not defending Lara but just saying that if you were a good looking guy and you had to have sex with fat, smelly, ugly woman all the time would that not f..k with your head too!! Just saying!! Oh and Lara you sure look fine!!
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bitch you are totes hella fine too. play on playa.
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08-16-2011, 07:59 PM
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#44
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Aug 24, 2010
Location: tx
Posts: 846
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lara
I did move on. about once a month I search my handle to see stupid posts like this and I check the alerts and that's it.
I didn't even announce on here that I don't like it and I'm going off the radar...again another hobbyist reporting back something I said in a session to the boards to stir up shit.
The reason I don't like this site is I'm already fucked up enough in the head by what I do. I don't need effin reviews about how I'm not good enough...humiliating reviews that detail every sexual act. It's fucked up and frankly my (psychological) health is important to me. Not for me and I don't need it. That's all I got to say Peace Out.
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+1 for your honesty and keeping it real. i wish more ladies spoke their minds instead of playing guys along or keeping up an image.
i always thought you were good looking, but you are out of the ole price range.
as for Leopard, i'll miss his insane rants. i enjoyed them. and like MasterImmortal said in the other thread, there is some truth to what he is saying. This is a dog eat dog world/hobby, and because of that, you always have some trying to take advantage of each other, others who want to be the alpha dogs. this goes for women and men. it's sad but inevitable.
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