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charlestudor2005 · 03-01-2011, 07:36 PM

Tell that to the ladies that specialize in the one and done sessions.

jughead1171 · 03-02-2011, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Sex before marriage. Always. Often. Frequent conversations about sex. Expressing verbally how important sex is to you. If you are dating and she is already not willing to put out unless its Friday night, or your birthday, or you got her a present don't marry her.

How I wish I had learned or followed this advice a long time ago

charlestudor2005 · 03-02-2011, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Sex before marriage. Always. Often. Frequent conversations about sex. Expressing verbally how important sex is to you. If you are dating and she is already not willing to put out unless its Friday night, or your birthday, or you got her a present don't marry her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jughead1171

How I wish I had learned or followed this advice a long time ago

Yeah, the problem with SG's advice is that it rarely occurs in reality. You learn it too late for it to be effective. If, for some strange reason, you do hear the advice at an early age, the female side of society brain washes you into believing everything is good with true love. You can have true love and still not get any.

And most women will promise anything until they taste the wedding cake. Then all bets are off. Even if the sex is ok, it ends after the first child comes along.

Eccie Addict · 03-02-2011, 06:09 AM

If neither one has ever had sex or been exposed to porn and things of that nature then when they do get married, neither one has to live up to anything except each other. They get to explore and learn with each other. If you have chose the path that most have chosen then it's more likely that one or both won't live up to the ideas or experiences the other has had.... IMO

Naomi4u · 03-02-2011, 06:21 AM

Ok so I have a client. He's 54 years old. He got married at 21. She took his virginity and he married her 3 weeks later. According to him everything was perfect at first. She was putting out, sucking his dick, letting him do her booty .. the whole nine. Today he's miserable. If he buys her lingerie, by the time he gets home from work there's a lingerie bonfire in the backyard. If he sends her a text saying "I miss you" she'll say "I can't wait till God takes you away". He's in the hobby trying to find love because his wife treats him like SHIT. Who's fault is this? I say it's his fault for not taking the time to get to know her before marrying!

Believe it or not I am hearing this story a lot more often. So you mean to tell me that noone is telling this men "Wait untl you're ready", "Test the waters", "Go and have fun, you're too young to settle down"? Geez!

charlestudor2005 · 03-02-2011, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Ok so I have a client. He's 54 years old. He got married at 21. She took his virginity and he married her 3 weeks later. According to him everything was perfect at first. She was putting out, sucking his dick, letting him do her booty .. the whole nine. Today he's miserable. If he buys her lingerie, by the time he gets home from work there's a lingerie bonfire in the backyard. If he sends her a text saying "I miss you" she'll say "I can't wait till God takes you away". He's in the hobby trying to find love because his wife treats him like SHIT. Who's fault is this? I say it's his fault for not taking the time to get to know her before marrying!

Believe it or not I am hearing this story a lot more often. So you mean to tell me that noone is telling this men "Wait untl you're ready", "Test the waters", "Go and have fun, you're too young to settle down"? Geez!

Well, you have a limited population from which to choose. By your own admission, your clientele is elderly.

Currently, both males and females are marrying later in life. Currently, they live together first. That is the current trend.

The men to whom you talk are of an age that makes them well past this trend. The ship has sailed for these men, and, quite frankly, 33 years ago, the trends were a lot different. On top of which societal pressure (which can be a real bitch) encouraged both males and females to go to college then get married. That was the American dream then. Sex was a by-product, not the main event. As relationships were taught back then, sex came with marriage. No on elaborated on the lack of sex. It was marriage's dirty little secret.

So, people are wiser now. They do test the waters. Stats show that. But when you talk to your clients, remember, you're talking about a different age and different trends.

Ed Highlight · 03-02-2011, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

But when you talk to your clients, remember, you're talking about a different age and different trends.

Chucky, this is a perfect point. Naomi's 54 year old client is one of many of us NOT in the general population any more...we have segmented ourselves by seeking companionship outside of, in addition to or instead of a relationship with an SO. For whatever the many reasons we are here (on ECCIE, et al), we are a smaller segment of the population and are typically of a similar mindset already...That's more likely the reason a provider will hear "this story" more and more....Look at who she is talking to.....US!!!

Eccie Addict · 03-02-2011, 06:53 AM

Well I agree that he should have spent a lot more than 3 weeks to get to know her. Wouldn't have made any difference if they had sex or not. Anyone can put on a good show for six months. I think it takes a while to get to know someone along with their history and family's history.

Naomi4u · 03-02-2011, 06:55 AM

Charles,

I agree.. but....

Have you been living under a rock? What trend? What about the girl that finds out she's pregnant and the family pressures her into marrying the baby daddy? Oh and the guy that meets the girl from match.com that's seeking admission into the U.S. He travels abroad, meets the family and marries her so he can bring her to the U.S. What current trend? Unplanned pregnancies? Last time I checked that has been the trend for a few years now. I know many people that did not live together before got married. The lady I am buying my house from was engaged and living alone until she got married. There are more and more of these cases than you think. If you believe that living together before marrying is the current trend then you've been misinformed.

Fact of the matter is people hardly ever marry for love anymore. If they did don't you think the divorce rate would be a bit lower? Top reasons people get married: They want someone around/Companionship, Security for Children, Legal status for Financial secuity or Response to family pressure. You can't even argue that. This is why most marriages fail.

How many men here can say honestly that they are in love with their wives? There is a big difference between loving and being in love.

Eccie Addict · 03-02-2011, 06:58 AM

I'd also like to add that if he is in the hobby "looking" for love then that ought to tell you a little about his way of thinking.... I bet if you her his wife's side of the story then you would hear things you never would guess about him...

Naomi4u · 03-02-2011, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

I'd also like to add that if he is in the hobby "looking" for love then that ought to tell you a little about his way of thinking.... I bet if you her his wife's side of the story then you would hear things you never would guess about him...

I won't even say why I cut him off.

Eccie Addict · 03-02-2011, 07:02 AM

My point exactly... Imagine what the wife went through with him.

London Rayne · 03-02-2011, 07:06 AM

I think everyone is forgetting the one thing staring us in the face here, and that is the fact that people CHANGE! It is unavoidable, so if you are staying with someone or doing things for them ONLY because you "feel" like it, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You can't expect to live with the "what about me" attitude and have a healthy or even loving relationship.

My parents have been married over 40 years and my mom was a virgin when they met....they STILL have sex. Why does my dad still love my mom 20 lbs. heavier with smile lines? Because he made a DECISION long ago to honor his vows. Why does she love my balding, can hardly even walk without limping father....because she also made a decision on her wedding day.

They are BEST friends which does not revolve around having sex! Believe it or not there are those crazy people out there who actually put other things above freaking sex....it's a shock I know lol. Each person decides what "they" will put as number on in their marriage or relationship, and for some friendship and loyalty beat out sex every time.

Naomi4u · 03-02-2011, 07:09 AM

Spot on London! Maybe if there were no escorts these men in "troubled marriages" will man up and get rid of their sorry ass wives. Oh wait...no.. It's cheaper to keep her right?

Eccie Addict · 03-02-2011, 07:13 AM

Or the wives will get rid of their sorry ass husbands lol

London- if I said what you said then they would have said I plagiarized your post....