Do providers date privately?

[Mina Harker]

Originally Posted by SA Angel

Honestly, dating IRL holds no appeal to me. The convenience of the hobby is lovely. I want a man to be around when I want him and go away when I don't. I don't want him constantly demanding my attention by texting or calling me when we are apart. I was like that before the hobby as well.

Plus, after being spoiled and put on a pedestal by clients I don't think I could put up with any disrespect, defiance, or thoughtlessness.

Generally speaking (because I'm sure there are exceptions) the emotionally stable women in the hobby won't want to casually date a client. A exclusive arrangement might become more lasting but I don't think that's what you are talking about.

Couldn't have said it better myself! I've pretty much always got a lot going on in my life so a civi boyfriend is just a pain in the ass. Hobby gentlemen, on the other hand are absolutely delicious. I might want a relationship outside the hobby some time in the distant, distant future but I just don't have time/tolerance for those shenanigans at this point in my life.

Originally Posted by goodman0422

Follow on question for the ladies:
If you did enter a serious relationship and your partner provided for your financial needs (and you trusted they would continue to do so), would you keep providing?

I can't help but wonder about the guy who can sleep at night knowing his girl needs to have sex w strangers to pay the bills. (Yes there is a double standard. I have sex w strangers but i can have standards. I wouldnt be paying if i didnt.)

Call me old fashioned but I would find a way to make more money so she didn't have to do that.

I'd still work. I've had jobs since I was like 12 (ah, the joys of living in rural areas) so I can't really imagine not working and I would get really pissy if I had to live off of someone else's bank account.

I've got shit I want to invest in and build on my own, too. If I used my SO's money for that, I'd always feel like it wasn't really mine. Once I reached those goals, I'd probably just keep a small harem of guys around. I really like my clients. I like even just hanging out with them and talking and having that stress free time with intelligent people.

[DSK]

Originally Posted by samantha thom

I am not old-fashioned. I am a modern woman who can provide for myself and I don't let any guy tell me what to do and what not to do and vice versa. I would not date a man for financial reasons. I would date a man for love and I would have my own house, bills, hobbies, activities,…and he would have his own house, bills, hobbies, activities…and sometimes we do things together. I would not want to spend 24/7 with him. If he has a problem with what I do, he doesn't have to date me. The same rule applies to me. I keep my personal life and this life separate like any other people with a 9-5 job. It is a job.

That would ruin it for me. I don't care about all the sex she has had, but I like her to be dependent on me, and be around when I want her to be. If she is out making money and being disrespectful to me, it would be rather unappealing.

(I've been called worse than you are thinking....)

[Gotyour6]

Hookers date by the hour.
If they want to date for free it will cost you more than by the hour.

[Boudin3112]

Smart words Gotyour6! I don't care if she earns money just do it without fucking other people. I want her to be independent, just need to be loved by her and respected. Her past is not a big deal, it is the continued or future work that would kill it for me. I am not going to be loyal to her while she gets 5 guys off a day.

[samantha thom]

Originally Posted by Boudin3112

Smart words Gotyour6! I don't care if she earns money just do it without fucking other people. I want her to be independent, just need to be loved by her and respected. Her past is not a big deal, it is the continued or future work that would kill it for me. I am not going to be loyal to her while she gets 5 guys off a day.

Yep, understandable. It is very hard or almost impossible for most men (who are naturally territorial) to tolerate that it is just work.

[samantha thom]

Originally Posted by DSK

That would ruin it for me. I don't care about all the sex she has had, but I like her to be dependent on me, and be around when I want her to be. If she is out making money and being disrespectful to me, it would be rather unappealing.

(I've been called worse than you are thinking....)

Being disrespectful to anyone is never acceptable. People have different needs. Some are more needy than others…that's why it's hard to find the right person. I have a lot of divorced single friends … men and women…in their 40s and 50s. They are out in the dating world and they keep telling me dating sucks so bad. Makes me glad that I am not out in the dating world (out in society or whatever they called it in 1800s…lol).

[Boudin3112]

"It's just work." I have heard that before. I know that it is work for you and the ladies, they get paid to tolerate us and have no desire to fuck us, touch us, or be around us. That's why they and you get paid to put your disgust aside and let us be with you. But that is a BS response to being a prostitute. Like a bank robber saying " its just work" or it is work that is bad for you and for the client, hurts both of you in non physical ways. Hard to love someone and watch her continue to harm herself, families, and others. Would a provider date a man that did porn? "It's just work." Abortion is legal but I could not date a person that did them "it's just work." If she wants love she will have to stop thinking like a prostitute, being a prostitute, and realize emotions do get involved in very personal "work." It's not territorial, it is mutual respect, love, and dignity. Or she can have an open relationship, I hear some of those people have good relationships, just not my thing.

[Luxie]

Originally Posted by samantha thom

As far as dating a client? I will never. I keep my personal life and this life separately. Once I meet you in the hobby, you will never cross over. My select clientele must know boundaries, and if they try to cross these boundaries, we will just have to stop. And the same thing applies to me, I know my place and will never try to involve myself in your personal life. Having clear boundaries allow more relaxed and hot passionate time without worry. :-)

Perfectly worded.

[Fancylady]

Originally Posted by samantha thom

As far as dating a client? I will never. I keep my personal life and this life separately. Once I meet you in the hobby, you will never cross over. My select clientele must know boundaries, and if they try to cross these boundaries, we will just have to stop. And the same thing applies to me, I know my place and will never try to involve myself in your personal life. Having clear boundaries allow more relaxed and hot passionate time without worry. :-)

Smart advice. Keep personal life and BUSINESS separately.Old saying don't shit where you eat. Enjoy paid sessions without strings.

[samantha thom]

Originally Posted by Boudin3112

"It's just work." I have heard that before. I know that it is work for you and the ladies, they get paid to tolerate us and have no desire to fuck us, touch us, or be around us. That's why they and you get paid to put your disgust aside and let us be with you. But that is a BS response to being a prostitute. Like a bank robber saying " its just work" or it is work that is bad for you and for the client, hurts both of you in non physical ways. Hard to love someone and watch her continue to harm herself, families, and others. Would a provider date a man that did porn? "It's just work." Abortion is legal but I could not date a person that did them "it's just work." If she wants love she will have to stop thinking like a prostitute, being a prostitute, and realize emotions do get involved in very personal "work." It's not territorial, it is mutual respect, love, and dignity. Or she can have an open relationship, I hear some of those people have good relationships, just not my thing.

Yes, I agree with you. We must find someone who shares some important values! Not everyone is good for everyone. We must pick and choose!

[Buying a *Way to Heaven]

Originally Posted by samantha thom

As far as dating a client? I will never. I keep my personal life and this life separately. Once I meet you in the hobby, you will never cross over. My select clientele must know boundaries, and if they try to cross these boundaries, we will just have to stop. And the same thing applies to me, I know my place and will never try to involve myself in your personal life. Having clear boundaries allow more relaxed and hot passionate time without worry. :-)

Hell yeah! It's good to be friendly with a lady, but not friends. Bank tellers are friendly, too, but they don't call me to ask if I want to make a deposit, or try to borrow my car.

[Buying a *Way to Heaven]

Originally Posted by Gotyour6

Hookers date by the hour.
If they want to date for free it will cost you more than by the hour.

Same for all women. Retail is cheaper than wholesale.

[Fancylady]

Originally Posted by Buying a *Way to Heaven

Hell yeah! It's good to be friendly with a lady, but not friends. Bank tellers are friendly, too, but they don't call me to ask if I want to make a deposit, or try to borrow my car.

Good advice.Escorts and clients crossed line in paid sessions.Adult Biz paid sessions without strings.

[clitlicker7]

I dated a stripper a few years ago who did some UTR work. She was upfront about it on our second date and asked if I could handle it. There were a couple of times where I had to postpone or reschedule a date or hanging out with her while she did her thing. We weren't super serious like trying to get married or anything but we had fun doing whatever and the sex was epic, she could switch from being submissive to dominant which was a lot of fun. She even brought some coworkers for us to play with together. There was never any jealousy on my part so it is possible for providers to have a BF or something like that if everyone knows whats going on and can deal with it.

[Buying a *Way to Heaven]

Originally Posted by Boudin3112

"It's just work." I have heard that before. I know that it is work for you and the ladies, they get paid to tolerate us and have no desire to fuck us, touch us, or be around us. That's why they and you get paid to put your disgust aside and let us be with you. But that is a BS response to being a prostitute. Like a bank robber saying " its just work" or it is work that is bad for you and for the client, hurts both of you in non physical ways. Hard to love someone and watch her continue to harm herself, families, and others... If she wants love she will have to stop thinking like a prostitute, being a prostitute, and realize emotions do get involved in very personal "work." It's not territorial, it is mutual respect, love, and dignity...

Your perspective is viciously narrow. Not everyone wants the same things in life that you do, and not everyone has the same reactions to sex. Some ladies do enjoy being around (quality) gentlemen, and a few even enjoy sex (sometimes). Your bank robber analogy is pure bullshit. Banks do not pay people to rob them. Not everyone who has casual sex is harmed, even if other things are concomitantly exchanged. The difference between marriage and prostitution is the difference between a cell phone contract and pay-as-you-go. Emotions do get involved in sex; they also get involved in nearly every interaction between human beings. That crap about mutual respect, love, and dignity comes from Hollywood. A hundred years ago people explicitly married for nothing but advantage - and divorce was a rarity, because people were getting something they wanted out of marriage.