Emotionally Compromised

[JennsLolli]

Originally Posted by Zerox

jenn- I absolutely agree, it's the digression of the woman how much she "gives". I guess I just didn't like the emotional facade. I understand it's part of her "sell" as ginger pie points out, I guess I just wasn't ready for the rug to be pulled out so to say.

A client caring more and more almost always results in an emotional pull back. It starts feeling intrusive, scary, and weird. Although friendships do form from time to time, boundaries will always remain. Looks like you crossed some of hers (her being green explains her being unclear of her own boundaries).

[Usual suspects]

1). Yes, real and successful relationships can and do form in the hobby. (I think hobby relationships are best compared to work place relationships. Everyone says it won't work, they are just using you, it's unprofessional, etc. Some do work! Others end in spectacular firey crashes, with lots, and lots of onlookers. Everyone here knows of a dozen failures. Alas, there is no crowd cheering for the ones who won the race).

2). Guys and gals in the hobby play a shit ton of games. Sometimes, "The only winning move is not to play the game." (Double cool points if you can name the movie that comes from).

3. As EJL pointed out earlier, your own statement said you do not want this girl as a girlfriend. By definition that makes you a game player. So, this next bit may make zero sense to you.

4). You should have considered putting her in a hotel inluie of paying her rate. Basically, if she wants to work on the trip she has the freedom to do that, if she wants to spend time with you she has the freedom to do that. Basically, you are no longer dangeling a carrot in front of her, rather providing a choice.

5). Lastly, have the courage to speak your mind and ask. Be prepared to hear "No" and respect that answer.

[Txcruiser]

I don't think, even if I could afford it, I would ever risk doing a weekend or even an overnight with a provider. I get attached and involved fairly easily with anyone I wake up nestled against. Sleeping next to one another involves an amount of trust. Once a provider came over and we proceeded to get drunk(and a little stoned) together, with the agreement that the clock didn't start until clothes came off, we were having a great time, giggling and talking, and after like 2 hours of that there was one of those moments when we fell silent at the same time, and looked at each other and started kissing, and right then I forgot for a while that I was paying for this; an hour of contracted sex turned into 3 hours, with her never once even giving me a look, much less saying "your hour is almost up", and when we stopped, we were both so exhausted we just fell together in a tangle, and drowsed off. When the sun started to come in, I woke up spooned, smiled, and pulled her closer, then remembered. She woke up and it was suddenly super-awkward; we got dressed and she left without either of us making eye contact or saying a word. And I was sad after. So I, personally, have to keep it strictly-business, do the thing, then go on my way or get her on her way. And I hate it.

[Zerox]

Ok I'm a little drunk so now I'm going to be super honest and maybe say things I shouldn't but what the fuck? I'll feel shitty either way so maybe this can be cathartic.

If I'm being absolutely 100% honest I did want a relationship with her, I honestly thought we had that kind of connection. But from her responses outside of session, such quick single word responses to texts, and not even saying anything about the weekend I had meticulously planned for us, i think it's obvious ( at least to me) that the feelings I felt were one sided...I just feel like a goddamn fool and moron, because what did I honestly think??? That just because she treated me like the center of the world for the couple of hours I paid that she was into me too?!?? That just because I gave her gifts that fit her personality and that she genuenly seemed to like that I was entitled to something?!? That she told me she was super excited to come to Austin...I mean what else would she say?!?! Of course she would want to seem excited.

I really appreciate everyone's input, I do, and Txcruiser you're describing in a lot of ways what I dread the weekend could have turned into. To me I think she really cared about the money more, if she was going to get $2500 plus a day for a free trip to Austin hell yeah why wouldn't anyone take that?!?! I just feel like a chump because I took these emotions and feelings and ate up that shit like a goddamn idiot.

[samantha thom]

On the other hand, hearing that men can actually get emotionally attached is a breath of fresh air …so romantic :-) and it gives me hope that one day, after I move on to the next phase in my life, I will meet someone I can give my self physically and emotionally, body and soul. Thank you men for writing!

[Spartan1117]

Easy does it there fella...you're drunk and expressing a lot of feelings. Good to blow off the steam, but like everyone has said you aren't a moron. You felt something you thought was there, but it wasn't. You can't fault her for doing her job and going crazy over the opposite sex is natural.

[junkweed]

Originally Posted by samantha thom

On the other hand, hearing that men can actually get emotionally attached is a breath of fresh air …so romantic :-) and it gives me hope that one day, after I move on to the next phase in my life, I will meet someone I can give my self physically and emotionally, body and soul. Thank you men for writing!

You really shouldn't encourage us...really.

[Usual suspects]

Originally Posted by junkweed

You really shouldn't encourage us...really.

+ 1,000,000

[dog soldier 4]

I found that in the RW life my emotions have been wrecked too often.

As a client I do like to be a little more than a ATM.

So I prefer my little harem to have SOs' that way I know that it's all in fun and they have someone else to bitch at !!

Dog / 4

[JennsLolli]

For every 10 guys bringing half dead flowers, cheap prosecco, and shitty VS lingerie, there's one guy bringing actually fancy presents.

My suggestion? Change your handle so you don't look like an easy target or scare off providers you want to see in the future. You've shown that you're easy to manipulate (for a certain species of providers) and shown that you're way too high maintenance with texts and whatever (for another species of providers). Just be happy you didn't shill out more or have other shit compromised. Not everyone in these parts would have handled the situation as nicely as Miss Dallas. Easy way to learn a hard lesson, yo.

Now repeat after me: If a sex worker wants to be involved outside of the session, she'll tell me so. With words.

Also also, consider the power dynamic of hoes and bros. Hoes play nice, play sweet, etc. to keep bros coming back. It's your job to understand its good customer service unless she tells you otherwise. Explicitly. With words. (Even then, she still might be playing ya.)

[Claire She Blows]

Originally Posted by JennsLolli

Now repeat after me: If a sex worker wants to be involved outside of the session, she'll tell me so. With words.

Yep.

[Zerox]

Haha ok now that I'm sobering up I think you're right that I came off as a drama queen Jenn.

And yeah if she wanted something she would have been the one to initiate and be transparent.

I take some offense to being high maintenance though haha. I just like chatting with someone, sending funny videos, and just bring fun.

[readysetgo12]

Originally Posted by JennsLolli

For every 10 guys bringing half dead flowers, cheap prosecco, and shitty VS lingerie, there's one guy bringing actually fancy presents.

My suggestion? Change your handle so you don't look like an easy target or scare off providers you want to see in the future. You've shown that you're easy to manipulate (for a certain species of providers) and shown that you're way too high maintenance with texts and whatever (for another species of providers). Just be happy you didn't shill out more or have other shit compromised. Not everyone in these parts would have handled the situation as nicely as Miss Dallas. Easy way to learn a hard lesson, yo.

Now repeat after me: If a sex worker wants to be involved outside of the session, she'll tell me so. With words.

Also also, consider the power dynamic of hoes and bros. Hoes play nice, play sweet, etc. to keep bros coming back. It's your job to understand its good customer service unless she tells you otherwise. Explicitly. With words. (Even then, she still might be playing ya.)

I consider Jenns to be the female Yoda on the board these days. No skin in the game. Refreshing. Thanks for continuing to be a resource to our community.

[readysetgo12]

Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

Yep.

+1

[JennsLolli]

Resource deez nutz!