~Monger Church~

[Mr Peabody]

O.K. papalic Toyz,

Like the H-Church, I praise your desire to unite the first and second oldest professions.

What is the significance of the bolony cheese and bread in the sammiches of monger communion?

Was Monger Jesus also a carpenter.

Did Monger Jesus walk on water?

How does the Monger confessional work? Does it involve a booth with a hole in it?

What are the 10 monger commandments quoted by Monger Moe.

Please delivereth thine blessed knowledge.

[JennsLolli]

Originally Posted by Mr Peabody

Was Monger Jesus also a carpenter?

Did Monger Jesus walk on water?

How does the Monger confessional work? Does it involve a booth with a hole in it?

[Insert wood joke.]
[Insert squirter joke...WS joke if yer nasty.]

[yimmerz]

I'm curious. If this is a real event then this sounds awesome. I'm in if accepted. If not then I can't wait to hear all the crazy stuff that happens.

[Toyz]

Thank you for your patience while I solved the worlds problems at work & can now concentrate on the duties of the Monger Church.

Several questions have been posed in regards to MC positions on various & sundry subjects. I will now address those questions & any others that might be posed by the Fawk...{whats a FAWK? A Fawk are the believers in Monger Church. Christianity has a Flock...we have a Fawk}.

Now lets get to the questions so far.


"What is the significance of the bolony cheese and bread in the sammiches of monger communion"?

In Christianity, the bread represents the body of Christ. In Mongerism, the bread denotes Benjis....Bread = Benjis.
In Mongerism, the Bologna stand for the Cawk. Bologna = Bologna...or in faux Italina "The Big Bologna" or "Il Grande Bologna"
In Mongerism, the Cheese stand for the CheeseDick Mother Fuckers who don't subscribe to the tenets of Monger Church or the teachings of OPEC.

"Was Monger Jesus also a carpenter"?

No, Karen & Richard were Carpenters...Richard had an affinity for Sheep...



Monger Jesus was a Bee Gee....



"Did Monger Jesus walk on water"?

MG enjoyed many forms of water sports. Primarily he loved squirters & actively sought them out. One of the verses from the Monger Bible refers directly to them. "OH HELL YAH I am walking through the valley in the shadow of mirth & I shall seek out more squirters"...

"How does the Monger confessional work"?

Monger confession is something we want Mongers to look forward to, not fear. In our confessional, we have one of a bevy of OPEC approved Hoogars who are there to suck your cawk while you absolve yourself of your sins. Although I must admit, sometimes we've had Mongers admit to shit they never could have done so they don't have to leave the confessional. We've solved the Jimmy Hoffa murder, we know who shot JFK....

"What are the 10 monger commandments quoted by Monger Moe"?

I posted these recently, but here they are again...remember you can buy authentic Monger Church silk boxers after service for the low price of $37.50.



"The Holy Threesome"?

Ah the holy threesome...In Mongerism, the Holy Threesome (also known as the Holy Trinity) consists of DFK, BBBJ & Cowgirl...all separate of course...






In the immortal words of TS-Robert Downey Jr.
"Monger Church is for Iron Men"

[Centaur]

Are Monger Church donations tax deductible?

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Centaur

Are Monger Church donations tax deductible?

YES...

We take Visa, MasterCard, American Express (just like condoms, don't leave home without them), Carte Blanche, Cash, Checks, Hoogar Vouchers...

Make them out to Monger ToYz....C/O Monger Church...Austin, Texas.