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10-21-2016, 11:49 PM
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#31
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 1, 2010
Location: N/A
Posts: 5,672
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I swear I ignore more people on the comedy threads than in any other forum on the site.
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Quote
| 2 users liked this post
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11-01-2016, 10:10 PM
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#32
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Sep 3, 2011
Location: Here
Posts: 7,567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOULMANIKE
A modern day cowboy had spent many days crossing the Dakota prairies without water.
His horse had already died of thirst.
He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull grey dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
'Well, cowboy,' says the genie, 'You know how this works... You have three wishes.'
'I'm not falling for this,' says the cowboy, 'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.'
'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.
'OK! I wish I were along-side a lush spring with plenty of food and drink.'
***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful spring he has ever seen, and he's surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'
'My second wish is that I was rich ....beyond my wildest dreams.'
***POOF***The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'
***POOF*** He's turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story:
If the U.S. government offers to help you, there's going to be a string attached.
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You need to send this to Hilary Clinton, just don't E-mail it, send it conventional, lol.
Jim
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| 1 user liked this post
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11-06-2016, 04:10 PM
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#33
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BANNED
Join Date: Nov 5, 2016
Location: WHERE
Posts: 7
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... with all the undercover without a brain taking order from criminal it might get intercepted at the post office
... btw how does cjohnny54 username post # hahahahehehehohoho represent giving it all away unless someone on some kind of DRUG (delusional thinking) LMAO
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| 1 user liked this post
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11-11-2016, 10:53 PM
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#34
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BANNED
Join Date: Nov 10, 2016
Location: where
Posts: 5
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so true
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| 1 user liked this post
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11-12-2016, 09:32 AM
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#35
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Let's Have A Great Year!
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote
| 1 user liked this post
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03-06-2017, 08:21 PM
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#36
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BANNED
Join Date: Feb 28, 2017
Location: Here
Posts: 48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOULMANIKE
A modern day cowboy had spent many days crossing the Dakota prairies without water.
His horse had already died of thirst.
He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull grey dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
'Well, cowboy,' says the genie, 'You know how this works... You have three wishes.'
'I'm not falling for this,' says the cowboy, 'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.'
'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.
'OK! I wish I were along-side a lush spring with plenty of food and drink.'
***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful spring he has ever seen, and he's surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'
'My second wish is that I was rich ....beyond my wildest dreams.'
***POOF***The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'
***POOF*** He's turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story:
If the U.S. government offers to help you, there's going to be a string attached.
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It so rig, from what I read on the other site ... the top level L.E. have alway been spying on his(cjohnny54, cjohn, etc) family from the first day he came to the U.S.
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| 1 user liked this post
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03-07-2017, 08:40 AM
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#37
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jun 2, 2015
Location: WNY - W Central FL
Posts: 1,528
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austin_voy
I'd always heard that as being a black man. "I wish I was white and surrounded by pussy." Same result.
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I like that sceniaro better,lol
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| 1 user liked this post
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03-07-2017, 05:55 PM
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#38
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BANNED
Join Date: Feb 28, 2017
Location: Here
Posts: 48
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has anyone seen the accountant ... is that where the term TRAILER TRASH (does not refer to a single race or class of people) come from ... LOL
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